Rylie Goodwin

@overcomer

Ooo, I do prefer Ending Verse #4. It continues in the same voice as the preceding poem, while resolving the whole thing in a smooth switch of tone. (If that made any sense)

I think it would benefit from a little more structure, it need not be much more than you already have.

But that’s all according to the artist’s interpretation. It…[Read more]

@overcomer

Ooo, I like this poem.

I’m not the most amazing of a poet, but I’ll post any polishing I can think of in a bit.

Thanks for sharing!

AhA!! I have found it!

And now I consider.

*Thoughtful crickets*

Very nice. Are you going to share more soon? Because…

BWAHAHAHA

=)

@freedomwriter76

GAHHH…

That poor dear. He’s in a mess that just keeps getting messier.

*Nods*

Well done! I understood what was going on even though you never said “it may be infected” or something like that. And the rising angst and suspense…I can’t wait to see what happens next.

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

Jayson

Shy: being reserved or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people. The look on the girl’s face, Eleanor?, wasn’t exactly what I would call timidity. More…fear, fear that would rather stab me than shake my hand.

“Ah, that’s alright, I’ve been there before. Good to meet you, sirs.” I nodded to…[Read more]

@overcomer

Glad the post is now up!

I think it must’ve marked it as spam before because I edited it a few times?

That’s my best guess. The site tends to get a bit finicky when making edits. I’m not sure the exact cause of why this is, but I’ll be looking into it!

@overcomer @whalekeeper

Thanks for letting me know about this issue! Spam marking is an automated program and unfortunately, it is quite faulty and unrightfully marks perfectly fine posts as spam. I’m currently looking into ways to make adjustments to this program so that it’s more accurate with its spam marking.

Have you been able to get your…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @smiley
Eleanor. XD
Jayson

“Who are you?!”

Civilians. Great. No firearms necessary. I latched my watch back on my wrist and scrunched my eyebrows at the young lady. Faint British accent, over aggressive manner. Probably scared out of her witts if I had learned anything in Psyc.

Raphael slid his hands in his pockets with a sma…[Read more]

Note: we are still sorting out Raphael’s family history/denomination, so, besides knowing that they’re very observant, that’s kinda in the air. While he does end up messianic, he’s not quite there yet.

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

These two are written in a style that is way not my usual limited omniscient view, part of the reason they’re now joining this castle. So if the voice jumps around a bit, blame Jay.

Jayson Barans

Long gloomy halls after long muggy stairways. Just a few minutes in this place and the dark ages were making a lot more…[Read more]

@smiley @freedomwriter76

Alright, first quick descriptions.

Jayson Barans

Appearance: 5′ 10″, wavy brown hair, hazel eyes, lightly suntanned caucasian. 17 years of age.

Nationality: Canadian American. {Polish, Native, English, Irish.

Pastimes: cross country running, martial arts, books, viola, parkour, firearms.

Religion: Apostolic…[Read more]

@overcomer

Beautiful. The way you used layered meanings of words is making me want to get my violin out and sing. I love the ambiguous speaker who could be just anyone; you, me, a fairy child…it makes my imagination shiver.

I don’t have any real critiques, but as I just ran across this two months after it was posted, I suppose that doesn’t…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

Ahh, good. *Sigh* At least he doesn’t break your reader’s hearts too much.

Also, and this is random, but I just love the name Yosef. It’s one of those names that just feels perfect.

*Contemplates whether these two would help calm anything.*

*Crickets*

The more I think about this, would y’all mind if I did add…[Read more]

*a stalker appears from the shadows*

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

Isaiah lost SON? You Killed Judah? 0_0

And Eleanor…what has your author done to you?

*Glances at characters*

*Contemplates inserting two in this sadly mistreated group*

@scripter-of-kingdoms already at 2 pages aye?

@rae Interesting, is this like a sci-fi?

@rae thank youuuu

@rae Lol, no worries!

@rae Also, I guess my favorite color is blue. Haha. Yeah.

@rae Hmm, I mean, my drafting title for this book was Past the Waves and the Firefly Lights, I don’t know if that’s any better, but I changed it to Jacobson’s once I established the name for the shop since I thought it might fit a bit better… Not sure though, heh.

I have a lot of writing posted on my website, actually. Which, not gonna lie, n…[Read more]