Beth

@hybridlore

I do know how to tag people, but who would be interested? I do have two friends, but at the time I posted that, they we nonexistent. Should I just tag people I know?

I like your idea of adding Nahim in, it’s probably the only advice I’ve gotten about this chapter that doesn’t ruin my purpose at all.

Actually, funny you should…[Read more]

@trailblazer

Sorry I never replied to this, but I still read it! I like where it’s going, lol. It’ll be interesting to see if Clara finds a husband XD

@jonas

I use it to mean negative traits, but you’re right, it’s a little confusing. I’ll change that.

@esther-c @freedomwriter76 @euodia-vision @smiley @whalekeeper @kyronthearcanin @savannah_grace2009 @rae @highscribeofaetherium @jonas @spinner4him @aranel

@rae

Hi!! Sorry, I would’ve gotten to this earlier, I just didn’t even see it. Do you know how to tag people already or did you just not know who to tag?

It seems interesting so far! I think the biggest thing I noticed was that your paragraphs are really long — I think it would be easier to read if you split the paragraphs up, but that’s sort…[Read more]

I just have to show you this…

@freedomwriter76

It looks so good!!

The poor boiii!! 😭

@spinner4him

Oh my word, thank you so much!!! That means a lot!! 🥰 I actually emailed in the story to him, but I haven’t gotten any reply yet. (Which doesn’t surprise me. He’s probably busy. 😉 ) But I actually got to meet him at a conference I went to at the beginning of September. I was able to get a picture with him too! It was pretty aweso…[Read more]

@spinner4him

My favorite character to write… do you mean characters that I’ve created and am writing?

Yep! Any character of your own creation!

I love homeschooling because I have more time to invest my energy in doing things I like to do and learning about things I enjoy.

Yeah, awesome! I would agree. 😉

As for cake or ice cream, ice cream wou…

[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009 @mineralizedwritings

Oh yeah, whoops. 😅

Ok, well, then I’ll reconsider adding her in. 😉

@sarafini

Alrighty! I’ll be sure to pop in!

@sarafini

If this is the whole first chapter (which I’m assuming it is) my first critique would be to hint in some way at the actual plot. I felt like it was missing something, and maybe that was it. I’m not entirely sure. Because to me, unless this whole story revolves around Ben and his forgiving his father, I see no indication of the plot dev…[Read more]

@rae

Actually, I don’t think those questions have been asked before. Congrats!

Sweet. 😎 *high-fives myself*

Who is your favorite character to write and why? Nahim Alfred Nayhelm, last of his family-clan. I know him as well as if he were my sibling (except whether he would like vanilla or chocolate ice cream, as far as I know, he’s never had it.…

[Read more]

My Character:

Nahim (nay-him) Alfred Nayhelm

gender: Masculine

Eye color: Red

Hair color: black

Skin Shade: pale brown or little a little b little a little b (abab) to anyone who understands that.

Voice: It has been described as “Young, too young” and “the voice of a thirteen-year-old”

Age in my WIP: 19-21

Height: about 6 feet.

People/…[Read more]

Hi! I’m RAE or you can call me Ru or Ruee

I’m a blue-eyed girl who’s insane about horses, passionate about writing, loves her God, plays the piano, dabbles in poetry and machine embroidery, and reaches for the sky…But hasn’t reached it yet. I’m a homeschooler with a big imagination at the age of fourteen. Good to meet you. **Hand shake**…[Read more]

@jonas

That’s a great idea! The problem is, on my google account I have, it’s my school account and the docs I make can’t be shared with anyone else that has a non school account. I will, however now post the link to my “reedsy” account, (it’s like google docs, but no one can edit or comment.

h ttps://editor.reedsy.com/s/p8SdhuQ Copy and paste…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Well, I’ve asked myself that question multiple times. So since it’s an allegory, I think it was needed to show that God accepts us out of many different situations and no matter what we’ve been told, we’re always loved. It also builds the romantic aspect between the two MC’s because one comforts the other during flashbacks (thought…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Well, I’ve asked myself that question multiple times. So since it’s an allegory, I think it was needed to show that God accepts us out of many different situations and no matter what we’ve been told, we’re always loved. It also builds the romantic aspect between the two MC’s because one comforts the other during flashbacks (thought…[Read more]

@sarafini

I forgot to mention that most of the things that you’ll find wrong with this thread have already been mentioned by others and have been either fixed or the chapters deleted and replaced.

I deleted the paragraphs about the races, and fixed multiple other problems. Maybe I need to make a new thread for the new and improved WIP, lol.