Erica

@starofthenorth

I like it! That does give me e bit of background.

@starofthenorth

I’m so sorry I’m just now responding😢😬. I accidentally refreshed the page about 5 times🤦🏻‍♀️😂. I think I know this response by heart now😂😅🤦🏻‍♀️.

Thank you! 😊. Yes, I’m excited.

1. Oh cool! Bettas are so pretty. But, yeah, they can be mean. If I get a betta, it’s gonna be in its own tank. I just looked up the clown pleco, and the…[Read more]

@starofthenorth

Lol, I was so focused on intitail thought I forgot to say how good it was! Also, it makes so much more sense with christopher having anxiety, I can really feel for him more with knowing that. Also I think this is going to turn out really cute 😀

It was really good, and like I’d love to read more. 😁 Love the tension, but like how…[Read more]

@starofthenorth

Heyooo

Everybody else said so many things that there’s not much left for me to say XD

First, great job with the intensity of the scene!!! 😀 😀 😀

As far as ideas to make it better, I love to see the build-up of emotion in Christopher’s body language before he snaps at her. I can see at the first little bit that he’s trying to…[Read more]

@starofthenorth

You can quote someone by copying what he or she says into the reply box, then selecting it and hitting the ” symbol in the left corner (after the bold and italics symbols)

Just testing 😁😂

lol thanks!

@starofthenorth

Congrats on your upgrade 😉 😉 😉

Here, someone posted this once and I saved it for future reference…

• Your first post, you are a Bumbling Henchman
• 20 posts, you become a Charismatic Rebel
• 50 posts: Wise Jester
• 100 posts: Loyal Sidekick
• 300 posts: Knight in Shining Armor
• 1000 posts: Eccentric Mentor
• 2000 posts:…

[Read more]

@starofthenorth

Hmmm, that was really fun to read! I love the “Christopher is king” dynamic to pieces!

As for critiques, I would basically repeat everyone else. From what you asked, I don’t think you’re intending to make them feminist etc., so I would bring the emphasis off of the catch words and more on the characters. It’s Briana against…[Read more]

@starofthenorth

So everyone else has said everything already lol!! Mainly about Christopher’s disrespect a bit, maybe show that he actually doesn’t see her that way, but her misbelief has everything she’s seeing skewed (because that’s usually how it goes)

In truth it could be he knows exactly how strong she is…but he’s not strong enough t…[Read more]

@starofthenorth I agree with @koshka in putting the emphasis on the characters themselves, instead of generally ‘boys’ and ‘girls.’ (Unless there’s a specific reason to.)
By the way, I have a character named Christopher who, in a particularly emotional moment, says ‘I guess the feeling is mutual.’ Are you spying on my brain, or is it just me? 😶

@starofthenorth

I think everyone pretty much already said what I think, but I’ll say it anyway. 😁 While they are both going at it pretty strong, I realize that they’re both mad at each other and are probably saying things that they don’t completely mean. But yeah, they both kinda come off as a feminist/chauvinists so maybe make it more about…[Read more]

@starofthenorth

Everyone else basically said exactly what I was going to, so here’s a condensed form of my two cents:

I would make it about Briana, not girls. So say something like “Why am I not taking a watch?”, just to remove the focus at the beginning. I would also revise the part about being pretty. Maybe put inphasis on ‘I’m your king,’…[Read more]

@starofthenorth

I’ve got good news and bad news…which do you want first? JK! 🙂

This was fun to read but like mineralizedwritings said, I don’t have full context so do what is best for the direction you are taking your book and the personalities of your characters! 🙂

1. I don’t think Briana comes across as a feminist, but more like a tomboy…[Read more]

@starofthenorth

Ooh! Interesting.

Ok it’s a bit hard to get a full feel for it, I’ll do my best to provide some feedback anyways! 😀

It seems really unhealthy (Ig that’s what your going for, nothing wrong with portraying that)

I would say an unhealthy dynamic gets a bit more complicated when you add romance, I saw the couple hints in there…[Read more]

@starofthenorth

Aww, thanks!! <3 🙂 Amen, sister, he is faithful!!!!

Mmm, without Hobby Lobby… I cannot imagine a world like that XD

Ooooofda, braces are no fun! How much longer do you have to have them on?

@starofthenorth

You play cello! 🙂 Wow, good for you!! I’ve heard it’s pretty hard, but it sounds super beautiful. Organs are so solemn and I have great reverence for them. And bagpipes, they are really fun to listen to!

That’s so neat that you’re Scottish!!

@starofthenorth

Ooh, what instruments do you play? I play the piano and clarinet. Definitely Experience. I listened to Evynne a little. Her voice is so pretty! I love to see another music lover here!

@starofthenorth

I guess I do like a lot of instrumental music! It comes from being in a family of crazy music lovers. We all play instruments.

I love musical families!!! Can I barge in here and ask what instruments?

So far my family’s at a band level: classical/electric guitars, keyboard, violin, bongo, trumpet and flute. If I could play any…[Read more]

@starofthenorth Hi Erica, good to meet you! I’ve been awful about introducing myself to people on here 🤦‍♀️ Well, I’m Ava, I’m 15 and I love writing survival stories :3 I’ve been listening to a lot of louder stuff lately (it’s the only thing that can keep me awake hehe) Right now I really like God’s Gonna Cut You Down – Johnny Cash, Aerials – S…[Read more]

@starofthenorth

Oh, how did I miss this forum thread?!

First and foremost, I’m thankful for salvation in Jesus Christ!! For the suffering and anguish that He endured on the cross because of His great love to bring me to life in Him forever!!

I’m also thankful for God’s faithfulness! We can fully trust Him because of the perfect harmony of His…[Read more]

@starofthenorth

First of all, thank you so much for creating this topic! It’s so good to see more people in this world thanking the Lord on thanksgiving.
I’m thankful for my family. My family has gone through some hardships this past year or two, and I’m so grateful for our Heavenly Father helping us get through.
I’m thankful for small acts of…[Read more]