Brianne

@grcr I know several others already commented on this, but I wanted to add one more thing about the descriptions that might help. Given that this is the first chapter of your book, I think it would be helpful to find a way to start it off with more action, or some way to hook the reader. It didn’t pull me in very well, but once I got past the…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009 sure! That sounds cool!

@savannah_grace2009

Don’t worry about it! Thank you for tagging me 🙂

@acancello

And of course don’t feel bad if you don’t have time to read it, I get it, and glad you’re working on your WIP so much! And great work, 54 pages is a lot! I remember how happy I was when I hit 50 pages 🙂  Idk how many pages mine is since I’m using a platform called Reedsy and it doesn’t have pages (kind of weird, i know), but I have…[Read more]

@grcr

no worries! I’m busy too, lol

@savannah_grace2009

From what I read so far, its really good! I will be checking it out from time to time (Dont worry, its not that I dont like it, I love it! But I am working on my WIP a bunch right now, 54 pages! 🙂 ) Thank you for sharing it!!

@grcr

Yay!!! Thank you!!! 🙂

@grcr

And btw…I tagged you where I posted my WIP if you’re interested 🙂

I’ll be patient…It’s that good!!!

@grcr @acancello @trailblazer

Here’s my WIP if you’re interested! And don’t feel pressured to read it if you’re busy (or just don’t want to!, I understand that life gets complicated and busy!

@grcr

Just read this! You did a great job with helping me connect with the characters. They feel so real!!!

I like your descriptions, but like others are saying, they were kind of long. I think it would help if you spread the descriptions out along the chapter instead of making them into one long paragraph. I’ve struggled with this as well, so…[Read more]

@mineralizedwritings

Yeah XD if he acted like a Star Wars robot or something I think it would be completely different

but I love the two

@euodia-vision

Thanks!

Yeah… poor boy

but they’ll get better XD

@s-tastet

Or any other of Ted Dekker’s books?

@s-tastet

Oh, okay! Yeah, I think I preferred AD30, but 33 was still good. It was really sad though – I won’t spoil XD

Have you read the Chosen series by Jerry B. Jenkins? It’s basically the show, but written as a book, and it’s SO good!! I liked all the insight into the characters. I’ve only seen a few episodes of the show, so I might be…[Read more]

@trailblazer @acancello

Thanks! If you want to read more, I can tag you on the forum where I am posting the whole story and asking for critiques.

I feel so bad for Sef but I LOVE their relationship! It makes me so happy! 🙂

@esther-c

Sounds fun!! Min and Allison gave pretty good examples. I don’t really have that much experience writing scripts, but I wish you luck!

@acancello

Lolol 😂