Elishavet Elroi

@ellette-giselle

Your advice is so so helpful!!

And it drew attention to a weaker part of my book—my FMC identifying the lie she’s been believing and accepting the truth. That turn-around moment is a part I’m still working on, so you pointing that out is awesome. I think right now she’s just been living this lie without experiencing any consequ…[Read more]

And I would like to throw in something that might be totally unrelated to what you’re dealing with, but it was a bit of a shock to me and had me seriously rethinking how I address certain topics in my books.

(Warning. Mentions of suicide.)

In my recent Psychology class we discussed aproaches to suicide awareness, and the results were mildly…[Read more]

@esther-c

This is a very good question.

But I suppose it comes down to what the reader sees is going on and what the character sees–and those don’t have to be the same. In this case, shouldn’t be.

I’m in the middle of rereading Screwtape Letters. One of the letters tells about how that sin has pleasure attached, and how that pleasure actually…[Read more]

@esther-c

Hi Esther. I actually had something similar to deal with in one of my books as well. Here are the two things I would say to keep in mind that will most likely make the difference.

1. There can be a time where the MC believes a lie as long as it is shown to be a lie by the end of the book. (i.e. There are some rough consequences…[Read more]

@everyone

Saw this a few days ago… Looks like some moderator profiles were active. The KP profile has posts from ten years ago 💀,  it the captain one has no posts at all.

Yay! okay, y’all. Expect to see another instalment by the end of the week.

welp, let’s see it this one goes through…

@keilah-h

lololol. I get that. The Tangled one was me with the Zero Hour: Freedom set.

@elishavet-pidyon

lol, well thanks. I get told I’m crazy or weird all the time. XD

haha. It’s not me always either. But I feel like readers view us as always thinking that. XD

@hybridlore

lol, thanks. XD

@grcr

You are very welcome!!

Okay sounds good.

Okay, for a little more editorial feedback…..

and Emrysrushed

Second to last paragraph, you just need a space there.

And then structurally,

Put your right hand to your chest…”

This seems a little odd, because 1. it is one of the more standard ways of swearing an oath, and 2. as a sol…[Read more]

@grcr

Ooo! This is interesting!!

(I actually thought the dad was gonna die in this chapter from scene 1…. so I’m relieved that he made it. XD)

A few typos I caught, but at this point I’m not sure what sort of feedback you’re looking for, so let me know. This is interesting and I’m eager to keep reading if you post more!

So man y kids… and…[Read more]

@theducktator

lol. No prob. XD

@loopylin

Rory

“Push you? If you’re sure…..” He stared in confusion for several moments. Then, bracing his hands against the back of the chair, he gave it a shove and let go, waiting to see what would happen.

@whalekeeper

Oh my goodness! He’s such a good sport tho to reply like that! XD