Liberty

@ellette-giselle

thx.

I did have a scene before this one, but I didn’t deem it ready for posting, since there are a few things I want to smooth out first. Hopefully that scene will make it flow better.

@rae

I like this a lot!! This section is good. I was trying to remember what happened beforehand. So far the stories have flowed, even though they are individual stories. This one seems a little out of place regarding the last one.

otherwise, i like this!!

@ellette-giselle @hybridlore @whalekeeper @keilah-h

Sorry for not posting in eight days. I hit Writer’s Block while trying to edit the next story to go on here and writing the next one 🙁

I’m not sure how long until I can post the full thing, but until then, I’m gonna post a snippet of the next…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

awesome! Glad I could be of help.

I think we’re all a little defensive of our stuff. 😂

I remember when you kept criticizing Aaron I was crushed because he’s a lot like me and I felt like you were criticizing me and saying I was a cardboard cutout. It took a few weeks for me to separate myself from him and see your cri…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

I have succumbed. It took me long enough to find them, but it is done.

I had too much fun with this. XD

@theshadow

I really like this chapter! Everything critical I was going to say @hybridlore already covered.

I really enjoy these characters. I like how Jack sticks up for his sister, and I’m eager to find out what happens and where Elina got her scar!

make sure to keep tagging me because I’m really enjoying this.

and those girls giving her a h…[Read more]

@theshadow

Sorry it took me a day to get back to you. Even though you said you didn’t like this first chapter much, I think it has potential. It introduces the characters and their world pretty well. It is a very short chapter. Is that normal throughout the book, or is this the exception? It’s fine to have shorter chapters, but I think it might…[Read more]

@esther-c Gotcha! A P.S. would be fun, but it might lessen the impact of the ending, so it depends on what you do. As it is right now, it doesn’t scream “actual letter” to me. It’s kind of like a thank-you-note (not exactly, but I don’t know how else to explain it.) or just a note. With a word count as short as yours, that’s fine, but maybe it’d…[Read more]

@hybridlore

It looks great! This was a cool idea. I think you did a good job inserting a theme into such a tiny paragraph. Out of curiosity, how much do you have left in the word count?

Thanks!! Oh yes, that was so hard! I was going to keep it lighthearted and goofy, and then I was like, Hold on. And tried something a little different. 😛

Ummm… a…[Read more]

@the_lost-journal

Wow, that was creepy. I guess I don’t like horror. But it was pretty well-written, I think. It was cool how you tied the ending into the beginning.

If you want feedback faster in the future, I would tag people, otherwise your post gets buried underneath all the other topics and we have to go scrolling for it. Although, if you e…[Read more]

@theducktator

Lolol! I would ask @jonas since he’s the leader of the Adventure one. I don’t know who’s in charge of the others… I’m sure @whalekeeper would know.

@esther-c

It looks great! This was a cool idea. I think you did a good job inserting a theme into such a tiny paragraph. Out of curiosity, how much do you have left in the word count?

Also, are you planning to add a name at the top?

@linus-smallprint

i really love the direction.

character development seems good and solid. But it’s hard to know that from just reading an outline.

again, it all depends on how you play it, but I was feeling Eustace and dragon change more than Kalmar and wolf. (Even though it is a wolf) I think you’re fine and should go for it. I can let you…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

I like this much better. I feel more comfortable, but it also plays into the allegory style better. (At least  in my opinion)

my only suggestion (besides fine combing because there were a few typos) is old be this paragraph.

I do not know what Alan thought as he used the spell, so instead of telling you that, let’s say he in…

[Read more]

@liberty

That gives me time. =) I sort of forgot too, but the story is nearly finished anyway.

@linus-smallprint   @keilah-h

thank you both for the sympathy and prayers!!

Great timing!

thank you!! I was proud of that one. 😂

oh dear! I hope you end up liking Roland then. 😅

I promise it was completely coincidental.
this time.

@grcr

No worries!! :))

@elishavet-pidyon

Lol! Frfr 🤣