Liberty

@rae

Sounds good!! I love your style, btw. It’s fresh and unique. 😊

@savannah_grace2009

I don’t think it’s too clunky. There may be a few places where it could be made a little smoother, but I’m not sure how to fix that. 😅 If this is just your first or second draft, then I think it’s definitely fine how it is. 🙂

@thearcaneaxiom

I agree with Min and Jonas on everything they said. Resolve of the character will balance the unresolved political structure.However there’s still a lot of things you could do to end it differently. For one thing, most dystopias almost never talk about what happens after they take down the government. They need to reestablish e…

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@grcr

Thank you!

Also, @savannah_grace2009 I was gonna ask, how does she know that Lilitu dreamed exactly what happened to her before he even describes what happens?

@savannah_grace2009

I didn’t really notice it seeming clunky! I like the part where she’s thinking back to playing pretend with her friends, it’s so sweet.

Personally, for the flashback part, I think I would leave it out and give more of like a summary, sort of like:

She knew that this was no ordinary dream. And not just because of his reaction.…

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@freedomwriter76

Nice!

@savannah_grace2009

Yep! Here’s one I made for my WIP a while ago! Hopefully this doesn’t post twice, lol.

@hybridlore

Sequel. It’s called The Two Emperors

So there’s Guardian Angels, then Sovereignty in the Galaxy: The Troublemakers, then Sovereignty in the Galaxy: The Two Emperors, then The Returns, then Alpha Slit, and that’s as far as I’ve got with sci-fi.

@jonas

Sort of, lol. It’s usually hard for me to think of things my characters hate, unless it’s like really obvious lol.

@jonas

Right, so like the first impression they give others. That would be interesting. I think I’d prefer just to write a paragraph from the point of view of someone else, and see how the main character looks from their eyes.

Okay, yeah. That could definitely come in handy for some characters. For me, it’s kind of hard to think of things like…[Read more]

@rae

Wait is that from a prequel/sequel? Nice!

@mineralizedwritings

Oh and as long as the rest  of your book is unique it’s alright to have a stereotypical ending. It’s when your book has a love triangle, America as a setting, and rebels taking down the government. If you can add one factor to really mix it up and make it something totally new, it won’t be considered stereotypical (Is it set…

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@mineralizedwritings

Something I have heard about in my research about plots is that there’s two separate goals your character has to reach. One of them is said and known about, such as defeating the government, the other is never mentioned but obvious to the reader. Something the character really longs for, a personal goal that is just as i…

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Yeah, sorry, it’s kinda long.

@esther-c @savannah_grace2009 Thanks.

@anyone

ATTEMPTNG JR., TELL ME WAHT YOU THINK>>>

 

The door of Krogen’s base burst open at my command. I basically fell down the stairs out of excitement. Maybe I did, since I remember banging both knees. It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened. When I was younger and less alert, Krogen had tripped…

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@hybridlore @euodia-vision @kyronthearcanin @jonas @anyone-else-who-might-have-slight-interest

@mineralizedwritings if you have time

“A little child dashed in without a knock and practically shouted, ‘I heard you got a new sword with a dragon head on it!’ His eyes reminded me of a dragon and I found it amusing that this child did not seem to mind…

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@mineralizedwritings

I totally get it.

@jonas

I like them! Flamebreaker, Midnight, and Lightshard are my favorites, I think. And the blurb looks good!

@grcr

They look really good!

@jonas

Yeah, I’ve seen questions like that on personality questionnaires like this before. So something like “Makes others feel: intimidated” or sort of like that?