Liberty

@savannah_grace2009

Thanks, but I feel like it’s to, to…undescriptive? I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem Nahim. It seems wrong, somehow.

@euodia-vision

Pretty much. (Along with plotting a new WIP for NaNo… 😏)

Good! I’ve been editing directly on the doc, but I think I’m going to print it out and edit it by hand. That might help me see things better.

Honestly, the style seems like I didn’t even write it.

@savannah_grace2009 @hybridlore @esther-c @whoever-else

There is something really wrong with this scene. I can’t figure it out at all. Help!

“I told you not to go anywhere.” Mandin was half-laughing.

Nahim turned around suddenly, forgetting his helmet rested in the flowers beside him. Mandin froze, a look of shock in his features.

“What is th…

[Read more]

@aranel

Wait…I just saw you like purple and blue…Purple is my fAVORITE COLOR! Ever since I can remember.

I adore cats too, but horses steal my heart. I own seven cats at the moment.

I like to write fantasy and sci-fi. A historical fiction one day, but not yet. My WIP is sci-fi.

Pe-CONS

Am I the only one in the world who pronounces it…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I shall begin reading, but I can’t promise I’ll have tons of time to read all of it now. Thanks for the link!

P. S.

Don’t worry about the number of chapters, I myself have only gotten to about ten on my current draft!

@aranel

Sorry I’m late to the greeting party.

Call me Ru or Ruee. I’m a stubborn blue-eyed girl who has way too many characters, and story ideas swirling around in her head.

Questions…

1 what genre do you like to write?

2 how do you pronounce the word ‘pecans?’

3 do you like horses? If so, what’s your favorite gait?

4 what’s your WIP…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I like that a lot better! It’s really up to you, though. Rae had some good feedback!

@savannah_grace2009 @esther-c @whoever (I never know who to tag.)

NAHIM

Everyone before had seemed to see him as some scary monster with that sword in his hand, and when he had tried to cut down the door it had gotten worse.

Now he had let his sword dangle limp from its usual place on his belt. He had set his helmet beside himself on the floor,…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I must be as blind as a bat!

Okay, I just read your revision of that last part and…I am never allowing you to change it. I have not had the same expierances as Sef, but I see myself in her. Sara, you’ve got this.

@savannah_grace2009

I get what you mean by clunky, I often feel like I have the same problem. Thses are the parts I think are the most in need of a little bit…

The air was pleasantly cold, nipping the tip of Sef’s nose as she walked in step with Lilitu. The sound of leaves crunching beneath their feet as they walked gave her a pleasant t…

[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Aw, thanks! I love their friendship, too. I want to set up some more scenarios with the two of them.

@trailblazer

Yayy! Looks good! I don’t mind the summary kind of telling, I think it works well for this story.

@savannah_grace2009 @hybridlore

It’s been a bit since I posted more of my story, so here’s the next little bit. It’s a little fragmented and summary-ish in spots, but it’s what I’ve got lol.

As the fall months passed, Bert Hawley began courting Clara. Clara’s mood brightened considerably, and she willingly did household chores and helped in t…[Read more]

@loopylin

Sorry about the paragraphs, I have gone through and shortened them after people mentioned it. it should be easier to follow now.

Um…really whatever strikes you as needs changing. I often get comments from my friends like “It’s good.” “I really like it.” et cetera et cetera. Honestly, I get tired of hearing that, so if you got some…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

The only thing I thought of was how quickly it seemed to drop off at the end. Were you planning to continue their conversation after the flashback in that same chapter, or in a different chapter? To me, it sort of felt like their conversation should continue after the flashback. Ending with the flashback felt very abrupt, and…[Read more]

@esther-c

That’s okay! Thank you!

@hybridlore

I can’t really think of anything right now, but I’ll definitely think it over and get back to you on it!

@mineralizedwritings

I think Katrin needs a goal. even if it isn’t the typical dystopian goal about overtoppleing the government. She can also pursue one goal, then realize she has to reach even higher if you really want to push the climax. Maybe that’s when she gets a little help from side characters, or remembers the things she has learned ove…

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