Evelyn

@iluvhim18

Glad to be of service!

Your book sounds very interesting; best of luck! 🙂

@iluvhim18  @elanor

I have changed many things in my novel, please read it and let me know your feedback

(There was a bit of a technical issue… so this reply might show up twice)

Hey there! @iluvhim18

Just gonna pop in here.

Oof, plot holes can be super hard to figure out, so I’ll just throw out some random ideas:

Would it be possible to move this key scene to the country where the mentor figure is ruling? Maybe she or her kingdom are somehow b…[Read more]

@iluvhim18

Hmm… Does she have to be a princess in order to be at the tournament? If so, perhaps her coronation got put on hold for some reason. Is there a required mourning period for the heir to the throne before they take the crown? Was there some trouble at the palace? Perhaps a jealous upstart or a plot to kill her required her to flee from…[Read more]

@iluvhim18

(Wow, I’m honored to have been the first to do it!)

Yeah, it would be rather odd for a 16-year-old to propose, wouldn’t it? lol But I’m so happy that you’re nearing the first one you’ll write! They’re so much fun… XD

@gracie-j

Yay, hello! Glad you popped over.

I have to admit I do love a good Mr. Darcy-type character. And though…[Read more]

Hey there! @iluvhim18

Just gonna pop in here.

Oof, plot holes can be super hard to figure out, so I’ll just throw out some random ideas:

Would it be possible to move this key scene to the country where the mentor figure is ruling? Maybe she or her kingdom are somehow be involved in what is going on so that whatever is happening happens in her…[Read more]

@iluvhim18 Oooh royalty!! My favorite:D

Hmm, since she wouldn’t abdicate… what if she was back in the vicinity of your other characters doing royalty-related things? Like, she’s essentially on a business trip, or she needs something from their country and thus has an excuse to be there. Does that make sense?

@iluvhim18

oh ok cool

like i said i don’t know much about the story

glad to be of assistance!

@iluvhim18

what if she abdicates being queen? is she under 18? you could do where if they’re under 18 a lord protector can rule in the young monarch’s stead? This has happened in European countries with child monarchs…

idk if that is helpful or not…

@iluvhim18

Thanks for the feedback

I will work on that

Thanks again

@iluvhim18 Sorry Evilyn, I initially sent the first one to the wrong address. 😆

@anika123  Hi!

I’ve read what you have so far and I am greatly enjoying it. I think that the plot is a really good one and am wanting to read more!

My critiques would be that the way it is written is a little choppy to read. It’s sort of halting making the dial…[Read more]

@iluvhim18

Hi!

I’ve read what you have so far and I am greatly enjoying it. I think that the plot is a really good one and am wanting to read more!

My critiques would be that the way it is written is a little choppy to read. It’s sort of halting making the dialogues not flow very well. There are also some spelling mistakes throughout.

There’s…[Read more]

@iluvhim18
Cool!
What’s it about?

@iluvhim18

Are you writing anything currently?

@iluvhim18

So I suppose I’m an introverted, observant, feeling, judging, and assertive Defender.

@iluvhim18

Okay. Thanks lol. I thought it rang a bell but wasn’t sure why. xD I did one of those a few years ago I don’t remember exactly what it was but I think it said I am a “Defender”.

Oh, yup I am. Defender: ISFJ-A

@iluvhim18

Yeah tears are odd things…

Haha yeah i do the same, and I’m 17 lol,

well, thanks everybody! I have figured it out i think! 🙂

@iluvhim18

this is true about sadness; and a good reminder for not making writing too dramatic

And yeah it totally depends on the person! I have been starting to boycott making characters cry with sad things, usually I use things like them going tense, “eyes dulling”, “looking weary”, “jaw clenched”, etc… but I have those heartbroken scenes…[Read more]

@iluvhim18

Hi Evelyn.
Thanks for the welcome. What’s a ENFP?

See you around. 🙂

@iluvhim18

HAHA apples are grown up cherries, that is awesome!!! oh man, I remember someone telling me I’d have sprouts grow out of my ears if I ate apples seeds, my sister avoided them like the plague and I ate all the ones I could get, just to be a rebel XD

yeah he’s not the most popular person, but he has some good stuff.