Beta Reader wanted for my first 2 chapter of my Fantasy WIP

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  • #99392
    Anika123
    @anika123
      • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
      • Total Posts: 31

      Hey everyone,

      I am looking for a beta reader to read the first few chapters of my middle grade fantasy WIP and give me feedback

      If anyone, is interested please let me know your email, and I will add you to my Google doc, so you can comment directly onto my doc.

      #99483
      Anika123
      @anika123
        • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
        • Total Posts: 31

        If you don’t want to share your email, but are interested in beta reading my work then feel free to let me know, and I will just share my doc link, so you can then comment on my work

        #99490
        Evelyn
        @iluvhim18
          • Rank: Wise Jester
          • Total Posts: 95

          @anika123

          I’d love to be a beta reader and provide feedback for you! I’m not sure if I’d be the best person because I don’t have anything published myself yet, but I’m getting closer and closer every day and have been writing for years.

          I don’t share my email because it not only includes my full name but also my town/school name, and I’m not comfortable with sharing that for obvious reasons. I have some things going on right now but I definitely always have room to help a friend out!

          Let me know if you accept my request! 😀

          If you ask me about my book, I will talk for hours. Have a nice day!😊

          #99491
          Anika123
          @anika123
            • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
            • Total Posts: 31

            I accept your request

            Here is the link

            https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KNU6IgjpxOtiIs0Qx9Is3OkgI2lLETTDumn7wamQc0Q/edit?usp=sharing

            Let me know by when you will be done beta reading

            #99507
            Evelyn
            @iluvhim18
              • Rank: Wise Jester
              • Total Posts: 95

              @anika123

              I’m on page 4 so far and I love the story! I do, however, have a couple of concerns. There are some spelling and grammar mistakes that need to be fixed, I suggest those first. And I also suggest giving the characters’ individual voices. I can’t tell the difference between who’s speaking, thankfully this is an easy fix by developing tone and diction a bit more. Another thing is if you’re going to quote something within a quote, use single parentheses.

              One other thing that takes away from the story is the layout. Your set-up is “Dialogue!” Said Evelyn. Repeat. While there’s nothing wrong with this by itself, there needs to be more description between the dialogue. It’s a little choppy and repetitive, maybe add some action into the mix.

              Mostly everything else can be glossed over since you’re so early into your story. Please take this in the most constructive way possible, and I’m sorry if I’m coming across as blunt or mean. I really do love your story so far and can’t wait to see where it goes! 🙂

              If you ask me about my book, I will talk for hours. Have a nice day!😊

              #99508
              Anika123
              @anika123
                • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                • Total Posts: 31

                Thanks for the feedback, could you please comment all this straight on my doc ?

                #99509
                Evelyn
                @iluvhim18
                  • Rank: Wise Jester
                  • Total Posts: 95

                  @anika123

                  I would, but I noticed that when I try to comment it includes my email address, once I’m able to sign out of my Google account I’ll comment it in the Doc.

                  If you ask me about my book, I will talk for hours. Have a nice day!😊

                  #99510
                  Anika123
                  @anika123
                    • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                    • Total Posts: 31

                    It won’t work without signing in, so just give me feedback over here itself

                    #99511
                    Evelyn
                    @iluvhim18
                      • Rank: Wise Jester
                      • Total Posts: 95

                      @anika123

                      Alright. If you like you can copy/paste these right into the Doc.

                      If you ask me about my book, I will talk for hours. Have a nice day!😊

                      #99512
                      Anika123
                      @anika123
                        • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                        • Total Posts: 31

                        So, you can comment here, and then for my reference I will copy and paste into my doc is that what you are saying ?

                        #99621
                        Elanor
                        @elanor
                          • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                          • Total Posts: 184

                          @iluvhim18

                          Hi!

                          I’ve read what you have so far and I am greatly enjoying it. I think that the plot is a really good one and am wanting to read more!

                          My critiques would be that the way it is written is a little choppy to read. It’s sort of halting making the dialogues not flow very well. There are also some spelling mistakes throughout.

                          There’s a program on my computer that works on Google Chrome and Firefox (which are the browsers that I use) called Grammarly and it is compatible with Google Docs and for free it catches spelling mistakes, repeated words, and sentences that don’t flow. It has been helpful for me personally because I am not very good at spelling and grammar.

                          So that’s my feedback. 🙂

                          "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf

                          #99622
                          Elanor
                          @elanor
                            • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                            • Total Posts: 184

                            @iluvhim18 Sorry Evilyn, I initially sent the first one to the wrong address. 😆


                            @anika123
                              Hi!

                            I’ve read what you have so far and I am greatly enjoying it. I think that the plot is a really good one and am wanting to read more!

                            My critiques would be that the way it is written is a little choppy to read. It’s sort of halting making the dialogues not flow very well. There are also some spelling mistakes throughout.

                            There’s a program on my computer that works on Google Chrome and Firefox (which are the browsers that I use) called Grammarly and it is compatible with Google Docs and for free it catches spelling mistakes, repeated words, and sentences that don’t flow. It has been helpful for me personally because I am not very good at spelling and grammar.

                            So that’s my feedback.

                            "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf

                            #99624
                            Anika123
                            @anika123
                              • Rank: Charismatic Rebel
                              • Total Posts: 31

                              @elanor

                              What can i do to make my dialogue better and less choppy to read and flow better ?

                              #99626
                              Elanor
                              @elanor
                                • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                                • Total Posts: 184

                                Maybe ask the general forum that question? They’d probably have tips on that. Sorry, I’m not that experienced of a writer.

                                IDK. Maybe add more of the expressions on their faces?  The dialogues don’t sound like the way someone would speak in real life.

                                "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf

                                #99627
                                Elanor
                                @elanor
                                  • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                                  • Total Posts: 184

                                  @anika123

                                  The way that they are talking almost sounds stiff like they’re in a formal business sort of a setting, not two good friends talking to each other in an informal setting.

                                  "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf

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