freedom

@freed_and_redeemed ooooh I love it

I want to do a fanfic like that now.

It’ll be SO FLIPPIN’ CRAZY but that’ll be worth it, right?

@freed_and_redeemed

(and I was over here excited, like: HEYYY, RIKER PLAYS VIOLIN!! XD)

He doesss?? Me too!! XD How long has he played?

(Dude, it sounds like I’m talking about a real person. XD Actually, I was giving an analogy in youth group the other day and I noticed that I started talking about characters like they were real people. I had t…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

I think you probably already thought of this, but Eric would probably try to frame Riker. Get Riker on everyone’s bad side.

Steal cigarettes and put them in Riker’s stuff. Dirty uniforms and leave some trace of Riker behind. Rummage belongings. That kinda stuff.

I think that could go under three of the bullet notes you have,…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed @jonas @whalekeeper @loopylin @keilah-h @theducktator

 
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@highscribeofaetherium @freed_and_redeemed @jonas @whalekeeper @loopylin @keilah-h @theducktator @whoever-cares

Yeah, I’m bothering everyone again. I like the idea of this scene, but I feel like it has some major problems. I want to see if any of you notice it, since I’ve found more than once that I stress over things that others are like “…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

Yessssss, very much so! I really loved the body language and it really conveyed Nahim’s feelings/emotions/fears for sure!

Good. I was worried it was kinda unclear.

A Violinnnnnnnnn (and I was over here excited, like: HEYYY, RIKER PLAYS VIOLIN!! XD)

No way! That’s amazing! Idk even how to react, that’s just SO GREAT! And I’m o…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

Rae actually asked this same question a while back, and what she told you is basically what I would’ve said. Koshka’s advice was really good too. So yeah, I basically have nothing else to add. I feel like they covered everything I can think of. 😉

@highscribeofaetherium @freed_and_redeemed @jonas @whalekeeper @loopylin @keilah-h @theducktator @whoever-cares

Hey,I need help knowing if this scene feels forced or anything.

The context is that Mandin invited Nahim to a festival that Mandin’s family was having, and Nahim promised to finally tell Mandin his traumatic backstory.

Evening came,…

[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

My advice as a middle-grade writer and a YA reader:

1. Stick as much as possible to inner turmoil. Instead of focusing on how much the outward character is being damaged, focus on how the inner character is coping/struggling/whatever.

2. Instead of portraying each individual blow/whatever, gloss it all together into a simple…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

Yeah, I had to do this same thing last month… Poor Nahim was totally broken…

Anyways, what I personally did was not focus much on the physical, but went more for the thoughts and emotions of my MC. It was still awful, but not in a gruesome way.

I did mention the body language a couple times of the one being tortured, but…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed I will not be mad at you for torturing a beloved character. I’ll be mad at the ones torturing him, but not at you.

I do the same way too much. Just two days ago, I was listening to video game character death screams extracted from their games and imagining what circumstances in an actual linear story situation would…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

Oh. My. Goodness. 😭❤️🥺 I love this so much! That first part was extremely suspenseful to read…

Is Leon okay?! And Riker?

*hugs both of them*

@freed_and_redeemed

Concerned is an understatement.

I enjoyed this scene so much! I love that Riker helps him, if course, and that Leon accepts that help. I also really liked how specific yet clean the trigger and flashback were – it made sense, and conveyed the horror of the memory without giving me trauma.

There were two places where I would…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

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😭 I love that scene!! ❤️❤️

Riker comes and helps him?! 😭🥺

@freed_and_redeemed

Oof idk, I feel as if I don’t know enough about your story to give ideas 😅 Maybe give him scenes where he’s missing meaningful moments with his family because he’s looking back instead of forward (you know, reliving his grief)? He could miss a child’s special event, or forget a promise he made one of them.

@freed_and_redeemed

So glad y’all are safe!! Yes, God is so amazing!! 💕💕

@freed_and_redeemed

*Waves* 😝 Heya. You probably already know how you want the characters to end up, but I’d also recommend plotting out what to do in the middle, or at least have bullet points for each chapter.

Having some kind of outline helps the pacing a lot, which I can see you’re worried about rushing or slowing. Leon’s alcoholism and R…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed @theducktator @esther-c glad you guys are ok! Tornadoes are terrifying.

@freed_and_redeemed

I’ll pray for you!

Wyoh, may your crush never like you back. Don’t eat this.