[TheLobsterLover]

I LOVE boy-girl friendships where they just stay friends. I have one in a WIP i haven’t touched in a while. You can play with the differences between males and females and how they bounce off eachother WITHOUT the gross kissy stuff.

Also sibling relationships are fun to read, but I feel like I’m preaching to the choir now.

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

@godlyfantasy12

Your welcome. I’m gad I could be of help

“Pitch black fury, blind with rage.”

That is PERFECT. I love it, and I can’t really say why. It just creates this imagery of something…almost hell-ish, if you know what I mean.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by TheLobsterLover.

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

@godlyfantasy12

I read your poem. It’s amazing (better than I could do anyways). I love the use of the repetitive first verses; it sets up such a good, vaguely ominous tone and feels very intentional. I was going to point out some problems with the verses, but it seems @power beat me to it (and also said it a lot better). The first stanza is great and reads perfectly. The second one has some parts that don’t flow, mostly due to having an inconsistent amount of syllables. I think a way to fix it might be to add one or two extra words that don’t change the meaning, like articles (and, the, etc)

“Like the rain, lightning strikes.”

For example I think this verse breaks the flow since it has 6 syllables as opposed to 7 ( I think power made a typo). You could add another word, turning it into “like the rain, the lightning strikes”. I personally feel that it flows a bit better.

I’ll give a few more examples

“The fire blooms with a rage”

Maybe “The fire blooms out with a rage” or “the fire blooms up with a rage”. Either works, but you could use any preposition.

Pitch black, blind with rage

This one’s a bit more complicated. I can’t make any suggestions without changing the meaning, but I think putting a 2-syllable word between ‘pitch black’ and ‘blind with rage’ might fix it.

The last stanza is really good and doesn’t have any noticeable flow problems.

You definitely don’t have to follow my advice if you don’t want or feel like it would compromise the poem. Either way, I hope it helped. Keep making great poems!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by TheLobsterLover.

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

@keilah-h

This totally got lost in my notifs oops-

And yes I agree he needs help. The 2nd part of my story is actually focused on his redemption.

Also I’m glad you like my names, since I always felt a little self conscious about them. Windris used to have wings, so I thought, “Something with ‘wind’ at the beginning.’ The name stuck, even though her concept has changed.

She’s ‘technically’ the antagonist in the literal sense, but she’s not the villain.

I like your fanfic ocs already! I’ve also got it planned that Windris has a crush on Dune, and Dune later finds out he feels the same way and hates it! In the 2nd part, Windris learns more about Dune (while struggling to forgive him) and in the end learns to love him as he is, kleptomania and all.

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

@keilah-h

I judge thee an accomplice then (though I’m kinda jealous of having a brother with such good ideas)

(I’m gonna be honest here, most of the stuff I know about Warriors is from pop cultural osmosis. I should enough to get the context, and I have drawn someone’s warrior oc once)

If we’re talking about cats I don’t think it matters too much. But with anthropomorphic characters or humans, I tend to draw more guys so I’d say I’m better at them. Though my style tends to make characters look androgynous. I probably gotta fix that, heh.

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

@keilah-h

I am SO sorry for the late reply; Schoolwork hit me like a wrecking-ball!

Glad you like my forum tag. I kinda typed in randomly, but it is a thought I have at least a few times a day. I haven’t explored the idea of physically scarring my characters, but it has some potential for emotional damage. Also, no blaming your brother for your misdeeds! You know what you did…
(jk)

If you want, you can put both characters in and let me do the choosing. I think I put I put it in my original post. Good luck!

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by TheLobsterLover.

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

@keilah-h

No problem! Take your time.

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

@koshka

ooh boi! Thanks for sending him in!

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

I only actually got to figuring this out a few days ago, but my MC Dune believes a myriad of lies which combine to make a delicious tragedy soup (AKA he needs to go to therapy).

1. His current life, stealing, is what he wants. It’s what he’s used to, so surely he’s content with it? (Spoiler: NO)

2. He’ll always be a thief  and he can’t change that, even if he wanted to. He has kleptomania and watched his grandfather struggle with the same thing. And he’s tried multiple times to quit when he was a teenager. Needless to say they didn’t work.

3. The people he loves would hate him and never forgive him if they knew who he really was. This is what stops him from telling his parents and his friend/arch nemesis Windris the truth. Further exacerbated when Windris does find out, and unsurprisingly, hates him for lying to her.

4. There is no point in doing good things since most people are bad anyways. He grew up in a poor household and has seen a lot of apathy and cruelty, which caused him to grow up cynical.

I’m still working on Windris, but her lie is basically that morality is black and white, a bit like Javert.

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

@kathleenramm, @devastate-lasting, @nova21

ooh, I could talk about this for DAYS

I quite like shy, sensitive male characters who do a lot of introspecting. Bonus points if they’re traumatized/have a tragic past. Dark mysterious characters who push people away because they’re afraid of hurting them get me every time. Oh, and the smooth, gentlemanly ones are pretty great too.

*realizes she just described her ocs to a tee*

@nova21

I cannot agree more with the secret identities thing. They are my all time favourite trope and I honestly thought I was the only one who liked it. Glad to see someone else feels the same. I think there aren’t enough stories that explore this trope in a serious manner. Even Miraculous (which is a show I love to death) has a few secret-identity related plot holes and tends to drag out it’s romance (There are three episodes where the main characters’ identities get revealed, and they’ve ALL been retconned; I’m being completely serious). Which is what my current WIP is for.

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

@annabelle

Here she is!

I really enjoyed drawing her ( and might’ve gotten a little carried away) I hope I managed to get her personality right.

I dug a bit into your blog, and I love the premise of Daughters of the Sea already! It reminds me a bit of Percy Jackson, and I love Percy Jackson!

Anyways, enjoy!

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

Oh, I should’ve asked this earlier, but what kind of clothes is he wearing? Also you reply fast 😀

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

Thanks! (this’ll make my job a lot easier)

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

Wow! I’m loving the world-building and backstory! I love drawing animals (in fact, I’m probably better at them than drawing humans) so this is gonna be fun. Just a question, does he walk on two legs like a human or is it like warrior cats where they all walk on four legs?

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

[TheLobsterLover]

Aaa thanks for helping me out

I do know how to tag people

Edit: Just testing out edits

Edit 2: It seems pretty weird for the edit button to disappear when you leave a post. Should someone fix that?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by TheLobsterLover.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by TheLobsterLover.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by TheLobsterLover.

Hmm, how shall I emotionally torture my ocs today I wonder...

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