Pen_for_Christ205

@godlyfantasy12

I can! Should I hop in with my threesome?

@starofthenorth

Hmmm, that was really fun to read! I love the “Christopher is king” dynamic to pieces!

As for critiques, I would basically repeat everyone else. From what you asked, I don’t think you’re intending to make them feminist etc., so I would bring the emphasis off of the catch words and more on the characters. It’s Briana against…[Read more]

@wilder-w @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @koshka @freedomwriter76 anyone wanna RP?

@koshka UUUGHHH I LOVE THEM!!! I am a SUCKER FOR ELVESSSS and u write them so beautifully…..

November

November shifted with his sling, frowning as he tried to maneuver the strap behind his neck with one hand.

Man, was this thing itchy….

And so was his arm…

Nope. Don’t think about it…otherwise it’s going to bother you all day!…[Read more]

@starofthenorth

So everyone else has said everything already lol!! Mainly about Christopher’s disrespect a bit, maybe show that he actually doesn’t see her that way, but her misbelief has everything she’s seeing skewed (because that’s usually how it goes)

In truth it could be he knows exactly how strong she is…but he’s not strong enough t…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @elishavet-pidyon  @godlyfantasy12 @wilder-w

Y’all’s character is are so…so…AHH!! You have to save them, the poor, dear, charies!

Anyway…

Almarrin

Whispers all this morning were stirring the quiet anger inside him.

“From the second story…”

“…heard he just tripped…”

Almarrin slung his backpack over his shoulder,…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 hey! Did u ever finish that scene with the Boys? 🥺😣 what happens to them?!

@freedomwriter76 awesome job! BUT UGH EZRAAAA 😭

@wilder-w

Arabella

“Oh! Hello, Hope…” Ara smiled, though she was sure it didn’t meet her eyes. She unclenched her fists. “Sorry…just…a bit tense. Everything’s a bit hectic right now.”

Hope nodded, “Yea…I-I’m sure…”

Ara folded her hands, “I suppose we never got formerly introduced, but…well, we already know each other’s names,” Ara laughed lig…[Read more]

@elishavet-pidyon AHHH ALWIN YOU ARE BREAKING MY HEART!!!

GASP!!

I just had a thought…

I want Alwin to meet Paxton….

@freedomwriter76. @koshka. @wilder-w. @keilah-h. @godlyfantasy12.

Alwin

Another day.

Alwin shuffled wearily down the hall toward his classroom. The halls were crowded with students wrapped in conversation, exchanging schedules, rifling through backpacks, and heading to class. Bleary eyes blinked in dumbfoundment at the bright spirits of the…[Read more]

OH! And I can hardly believe I didn’t explain their set up.

Ok.

Viktor is now living with his uncle, Micha, and cousin, Reúven. A friend of Micha with unmentionable connections in government located Viktor and got Micha custody of him and his sisters Alyona and Nadían. Alyona is 13, and Nadían is 12, and they decided not to have Alyona come that early.

@freedomwriter76. @koshka. @wilder-w. @keilah-h. @godlyfantasy12.

I’m on for now!!

So, before I go for Alwin, I’ll introduce the rest of my charries.

Also, I think the invisible country this AU is in is involved in combat in a far off country. It’s not a war close to home, so nobody really notices it except for those involved. (And sorry, I…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @koshka @elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h

Jocelyn

As soon as Cécile had spoken, Jocelyn knew the words rang true.

No wonder Dawson became so tense…

Jocelyn’s fists clenched. Hurting someone just because you could…just because they were under your command…

It was…just so wrong.

Like so many other things she’d seen…

 …[Read more]

@felicity

Ok! I’ll be waiting (no pressure lol)

Can’t wait to read it though!

And yeah, I totally thought you meant you were going to face us, the giants 🤣

@starofthenorth

Everyone else basically said exactly what I was going to, so here’s a condensed form of my two cents:

I would make it about Briana, not girls. So say something like “Why am I not taking a watch?”, just to remove the focus at the beginning. I would also revise the part about being pretty. Maybe put inphasis on ‘I’m your king,’…[Read more]

@Felicity

yeah! We’d love to see your writing! Lol, we aren’t scary giants then are we? 🤣

I have never had a bad experience sharing writing here!

@starofthenorth

Ooh! Interesting.

Ok it’s a bit hard to get a full feel for it, I’ll do my best to provide some feedback anyways! 😀

It seems really unhealthy (Ig that’s what your going for, nothing wrong with portraying that)

I would say an unhealthy dynamic gets a bit more complicated when you add romance, I saw the couple hints in there…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12

Cécile 

The moment these two had appeared the rest of the group went nearly rigid. As soon as the man had started speaking, she almost had to hold Annia back. The girl’s hands were held at her waist in tight fists, showing her calloused knuckles.

“Annia, no.” Cécile whispered in her ear. “Breaking his nose wo…[Read more]

@arien

Ooh, what’s your WIP about? That’s great that you discuss adoption, I think there need to be more books about that.

Lets see if I can do this without too many spoilers… 😂

Ok so Lesli (18) and Tauren (16) live in the mining district of the west hills bunkers, one of many scattered over the country after a devastating civil war about 160…[Read more]