- This topic has 52 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 5 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
Yeah lol! Listen to them 🤣 it’s good!
Thank you again! And yeah, I should, shouldn’t I? XD
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
I’m sorry girl, I would’ve responded sooner but I’ve been at yoga with my grandma and then went to eat lunch.
You’re fine, girl! I hope you had fun! 😀
OH MY GOODNESS, GIRL!!!! I’m in love already!!! Oh my gosh that first chapter my heart was breaking for Leon😭😭❤️❤️❤️! Riker!❤️❤️!! Ughh!!! Sweet Riker and Leon. And Ezra!! Poor Ezra❤️😭.
AHHHH!!!! THANK YOUUUUUU!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ And I know, right!? XD
This is SOOO GOOD!!! I need more!! 😊
Thank you, girl!!! I’m planning on writing more today, we’ll see how far I get. XD I’m thinking about changing a few things because right now some of the things I’ve written make the book feel a little rushed, so I’m gonna add a few other things that I want to include. 😉
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@mineralizedwritings. @lightoverdarkness6.
And the 2nd half of Chapter 3!!!
A chorus of “Amen” rang through the church.
Leon opened his eyes. Transferred a sleeping Elias to his shoulder.
Aadelheide smiled and stood, setting Albert, who was drifting off to sleep, on her hip.
Isabel stood, her braids flying around her, and took Louisa’s hand. “We’re going to your home, Oma!”
“I know, darling. I cannot wait.”
Isabel nodded and smiled brightly. “Me too!”
Leon smiled at his daughter. Even after everything that had been taken from her, she remained happy.
Leon’s smile faded.
Since the day Leon had been attacked and Aadelheide had refused to divorce him, they had been forced into a Ghetto, forced to share an infested, tiny home with two other families. Or, well, they had, until the families both disappeared without even a trace left behind.
“Leon, are we going to talk to Ezekiel?” Aadelheide asked softly, pulling him out of his thoughts.
Leon nodded. “Yes. Louisa, I hate to ask, but…”
Louisa smiled. “I needed to talk to someone anyhow. Come along, Isabel, darling.” They walked away, Isabel skipping, her blonde braids bouncing behind her back.
Elias stirred in Leon’s arms. Leon rubbed his back, slowly lulling his son back to sleep.
Aadelheide gave him a brief kiss on his jaw as they waited for Ezekiel to finish speaking to a church member.
But he finally finished and glanced their way with a wave and warm smile. “Leon! Aadelheide! How may I help you?”
Leon and Aadelheide both walked over. Leon bit his lip and glanced at his wife. “Pastor, can we…talk somewhere more…” Leon cleared his throat, “…private?”
Ezekiel glanced around the room and slowly nodded. “…Follow me.”
He slowly led them into his office, softly closing and locking the door behind them. “…What’s wrong? We’re free to speak here.”
“We need to get our kids somewhere. Somewhere safe and…as far away as possible.” Aadelheide whispered, holding a sleeping Albert closer to her body.
“This is about the refusal of divorce and the Ghetto?”
Leon nodded. “It’s not safe for them anymore.”
Ezekiel slowly nodded, walking behind his dark oak desk, which was strewn with papers. “I understand. I’ve often thought to do the same for mine…” He bit his lip. “I may know a family that would be willing to take them. But it may take a few days to get an answer.”
Leon glanced at Aadelheide, before slowly turning back to Ezekiel with a nod. “As long as we get them somewhere safe.”
Ezekiel nodded. “I’ll get started on getting the family a message as soon as I’m home. Have you two prayed about this?”
“Every chance we’ve gotten.” Aadelheide replied.
Leon slowly nodded in agreement.
Ezekiel smiled and nodded. “Good. I assure you both, you have my full word, both as a pastor, a countryman, and a friend, that I will do everything I possibly can to get your three children to safety.”
Leon shook Ezekiel’s hand after he came back around the desk. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, brother.” Ezekiel replied with a smile, unlocking and opening his office door.
Leon and Aadelheide walked away to get Isabel and head to Louisa’s house.
Leon placed a kiss to his wife’s forehead.
For now, it was time to wait.
And only hope that God could work a miracle.
@freedomwriter76
I have absolutely no idea what you wrote because I didn’t even read it! 😂
But I’m sure it’s the best thing ever, and Riker is probably still just as confuzzleing as before. Are you just sharing these like as you write them? Cuz that’s a lot of writing in one day!
Anyways, you got this! 😁
へびは かっこいい です！
@freedomwriter76
Thank you!! Yes it was!
YOU’RE SOOO WELCOME!!! Yes!!! XD.
Okay!! Girl, take your time. I know you’ll do good!! Good luck!!
Also, girl, I just read that part on the Fantasy RP AU where Edric dropped November and Joshua tried to catch him, and they both got hurt, and Girl!! Oh my gosh that part was heartbreaking 💔! But so sweet too. Just UGHH😂🥰😭.
#HugRikerSquad
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
I have absolutely no idea what you wrote because I didn’t even read it! 😂
But I’m sure it’s the best thing ever, and Riker is probably still just as confuzzleing as before.
Well, the most recent thing was about Leon, but I’m sure Riker will still be confuzzling for a while, lol. XD
Are you just sharing these like as you write them? Cuz that’s a lot of writing in one day!
Hah, no. XD Chapters 1-half of 3 were already written on a different day, lol. XD
Anyways, you got this! 😁
Thank you!!!! 😀
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
Thank you!! Yes it was!
You are so welcome!!! And I’m so glad to hear that!!!
YOU’RE SOOO WELCOME!!! Yes!!! XD.
Very, very much so. XD
Okay!! Girl, take your time. I know you’ll do good!! Good luck!!
Aww, girl!!! Thank you!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Also, girl, I just read that part on the Fantasy RP AU where Edric dropped November and Joshua tried to catch him, and they both got hurt, and Girl!! Oh my gosh that part was heartbreaking 💔! But so sweet too. Just UGHH😂🥰😭.
AGHHH!!! I KNOWWWW, RIGHT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
@freedomwriter76
Oh my gosh, you are just so sweet!!! <3 <3
Yes :)!
You are so welcome!!!
YES!!! I LOVE IT!!!
#HugRikerSquad
@freedomwriter76
On no, now I’m invested 😂
Anyway, sorry it took me so long to read it. I’ve been really busy
I absolutely love this! Your characters seem really real! I love how important their faith is to Leon and Aadelheide and their relationship with each other. And Riker is so sweet.
I’d love to read more!
@freedomwriter76
I somehow missed the original notification from when you first tagged me, but I just found this and finally read it. I love all of the writing and the dialogue and the characters so much!💕
Is this the same story as the one Reuben and his brothers are from?
Also I think it would be interesting maybe in a second draft to introduce one of the families that Leon and his family were staying with. Maybe you could have a scene where the kids are all playing together. Then, once the family disappears, it’s a lot scarier for the reader because they got to know the family a little bit first. (Just a suggestion you don’t have to at all if you don’t want to.)
Space Princess ✨🪐 intp artist
@freedomwriter76
HUZZAH!!! It sounds amazing, especially for a first draft. I can’t wait to see what happens next, and yes I will probably be stalking this page to see if you post anything new. =)
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@loopylin. @theloonyone. @koshka. AHHH!!! THANK Y’ALL SO MUCH!!!! <33333
And @loopylin, that is a good idea! I’ll see if it works out for the book, and I may just have to do it!!! 😀
@freedomwriter76 awesome job! BUT UGH EZRAAAA 😭
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@godlyfantasy12. Awww, thank you!!!! <3333
And IKR!? *sobs*
@freedomwriter76
I know I’m late to the party but . . .
AHH THIS IS SO GOOD! Great job, girl!😊😊
The chapters did seem kinda short, but the writing is good! I agree with @mineralizedwritings , maybe Riker’s seeming a little too nice for so early in the book? And though he is feeling conflicted, maybe it’s not quite enough? He seems like a good guy in the wrong place, not a guy trying to figure out what’s good or bad. But I don’t know what you’re going for, maybe that’s what you want!
Overall, great job! I want to read more! 😍😊❤️
Be brave. Be strong. Be bold.
-Christopher Blakewell
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
