Michael Stanton

Yes, post it, @bluejay! There’s a for short stories here. 🙂

Well obviously it depends on their relationship… but for my part, if I had an older brother whom I really, really admired and looked up to, that’s what I’d ask myself, especially if I wasn’t very experienced myself.

@Daeus I’m sure we all thank you we don’t live in a black hole. We are very grateful. 😉

@Joy-Schmidt okay… I think I got it. I’ll just ask a few general questions to get you started. First off, is he cautious because he doesn’t have experience? If so, the caution is going to be one of uncertainty and indecisive fear, with lots of nail-biting,…[Read more]

Yikes… that depends so much on the guy’s personality. The prince’s, I mean. If I was the prince I would probably faint… but I’m sure that’s not helpful. 😛

Can you sketch out his personality a little? I could tell you so much more that way.

Ohhhhhhhhhh… somehow I missed that they were animals. *oops*
Sorry about that. 😛
Or… are they animals? Are Anna and her parents animals? Or are you just looking for a good line that will fit with both animals and humans?

If so…

Well, let’s see. Oh boy. Ummmm… *squinches eyes up meditatively* ‘Just because life is dangerous doesn’t mean…[Read more]

@rolena-hatfield I told her. She’s a quiet little thing of few words, but I could tell she was pleased. 😀

Hey Tessa Just! Australia— that’s so cool! 🙂 Welcome to the forum.

What about just ‘ Life is full of dangers, but that shouldn’t stop us from living it.”

My five year old sister contributes— I kid you not, she made up this word on the spur of the moment, and I was dreadfully impressed.

I don’t remember exactly what she made it up about— I think she was talking about my hair, which has a tendency to curl if left loose. Anyway. Here’s the word. You ready?

Swoogley. She said my hair was…[Read more]

Well, the way you have it seems good to me! Another way to do it would be to italicize and quotationize… *sigh* These made-up words will be the death of me yet. To italicize and place inside quotation marks the text messages, just to define them and make them more noticeably something not part of the actual text. (No pun intended).

Question—…[Read more]

Probably most the CleverNav— I only started choking when Sterling tossed it under the seat and it changed the voice chip.
Just the whole concept behind the malicious navigator was so hilarious… especially to someone like me who absolutely hates both giving and receiving directions for fear something will go wrong.
Also, the humor works with…[Read more]

Glad it was helpful! I wish I could find more to pick on, and so prolong the discussion of this topic, but I really can’t. Not that that’s not a good problem to have… 😉

YES. Exactly. Denholm frightens people with that. If his cover gets blown and someone notices he’s tired, he just laughs at them or ignores them, depending on what mood he’s in, until he can’t possibly go on any longer. 😛

I’ll even make sure G doesn’t find out you said such things.

Thank you. Thank you from the depths of my heart.

*snickers into hand* Don’t mind me, guys. I’m just… yeah. Don’t mind me.

@hope said it, Masyn. 🙂

Believe it or not, I don’t think I’ve ever read a dystopian novel, but I definitely know what the genre is.

I will just say a couple of things though. I would say a dystopian story where the hero loses would have more potential for harm than otherwise. Assuming the hero stood for freedom and virtue etc.— everything…[Read more]

@writefury I suppose that’s true. That is true. 😉

The second person part of me can be very sarcastic too. 😛

Ah, poor Cobalt. In with the bad guys, is he?

I don’t think Denholm’s going to stop being banged up and banged around until the climax finally finally comes and goes. Everything’s gone wrong for the poor guy lately.

It’s okay. He forgives me. 😛

Oh boy this thing made me laugh.

I’ve absolutely nothing to pick on except one thing. I noticed you use subject sentences a LOT. So many of the sentences began with ‘I’ or ‘Me’ or ‘The etc.’ You might try breaking up that pattern a bit— it can sound a little strange.

But otherwise this was great. Sterling has a very distinct personality (so…[Read more]

@hope shhh! *shocked voice* I’m not ready to declare myself in the public market yet! *looks around stealthily, lowers voice* I’ll tell you a secret— you are my guinea-pig.
😉

Second person. Always second person. 🙂