Liberty

@highscribeofaetherium

Also, Junior is by the door wearing boots too if you want your charrie to meet him.

@highscribeofaetherium

Like a horse. It’s a smell I can’t describe. Some hate, some love it, I find it pleasant. It’s a smell that doesn’t yell “Shepherd” like a goat or sheep smell, it yells instead “barn”.

@whalekeeper

I didn’t cry, but I had a sudden urge to find Marcel, give him a hug and just be with him.

Now I’m wondering if there is anyway Chase could find Marcel, because Chase has an urge to apologize. Like, an urge so deep that it’s one of the first things I feel when I put on his character cloak. But…I’m afraid that’s not possible rn, at…[Read more]

@trailblazer

Thanks! Yeah, I figured it was pretty obvious, lol. I wasn’t really trying to hide it.. I guess I was more concerned with telling the story than surprising the reader. And I’m sure most of us have read other stuff with basically the exact same plot, so it wasn’t exactly surprising anyway.

Got it, I’ll fix that. Thanks!

@hybridlore

Overall, it’s pretty good! Like Jonas said, I figured out right away who the king was, and I also recognized the allegorical elements pretty quickly, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

I also agree that the ending (as it was in your first post) was pretty abrupt and confusing. I think the changes you made helped!

The last thing…[Read more]

@loopylin

Yeah I think that can count! That is a good movie!

@esther-c

My grandparents used to give ornaments to each of us grandkids every year! They stopped once we reached a certain age, and started giving us money instead. I liked getting ornaments but it did fill up our tree lol.

@savannah_grace2009

Aw, that was so sad! I really liked it though, tag me if you post more.

@grcr

Oohhh, I like it!

@jonas

Yeah, it was mentioned in the dialogue, but I guess it might be easy to miss that.

@rae

Thanks! I fixed the stall part in my document, but it won’t let me edit my post anymore.

@jonas

So, the king has been traveling for a while. He wasn’t aware of the rules put on the people by his regents, who he’d appointed to take care of the country while he was gone.

When I wrote it, I was trying to create sort of an allegory. I know it’s not perfect, but that’s what I was thinking when I came up with it. The king is meant to…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Much better!

@jonas @rae

I added a few sentences that hopefully resolve it a little better? I’m not sure. Do you still think it’s missing something?

… I can’t believe I didn’t see it before—who he was. The suspicion has grown inside of me for weeks, strengthening with each day that passed. When the guards disappeared from the marketplace. When the curfe…

[Read more]

@jonas

Look up, I botched your simple tag.

@jomas @highscribeofaetherium

A menthol is what a cough drop is called. It’s on the couch drop bags in the stores.

@jonas

Paper isn’t allowed, but non-gun weapons are.

Well, at my Dad’s work, menthols aren’t allowed places, yet he always has a razor knife in his pocket.

@rae

Alright! XD Thanks, I appreciate it.

@loopylin

I think Gregory would definiately interrogate Junior, since Junior has an unregistered pet and boots already! This could get interesting!

@hybridlore

My thoughts are the same as Jonas, but a horse “pen” is correctly called a stall. If the horse is in a field outside, or a fenced in area, it’s called a paddock. If you need horsey terms, just tag me.

@grcr

Got it!