Liberty

@theshadow

It looks good! I don’t have any major critiques. It is a very short chapter, but it does a good job of building on the tension. Also, I like the way you described the trees.

It seems a little weird that Olivia and Adeline and Dylan don’t seem to care about their families… well, maybe Dylan a little bit.

@freed_and_redeemed

Love it!!

Also was not expecting Erich! I need to know how he joined the American army!!!

@hybridlore  @linus-smallprint    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @liberty

NEXT SECTION!!!

Interesting POV switch. A new technique I tried out for telling long stories rather then having a ton of first-person dialogue. Let me know what y’all think.

The sixteenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
September 9th
The Empire<…

[Read more]

@theshadow

Oooo!! I like this!! This is getting good!

And, what if, what if we don’t make it?

This is a little cluncky because of the punctuation. If you did: “And what if–– what if we don’t make it?” or “And what if. . . what if we don’t make it?” either of those would work well. Use the dash if you want it to read as a sudden horrif…[Read more]

It would be nice to have a closed community…

I really hope everything irons out here, but I would probably be open to joining another “Rivendale” made of marooned KeePers if this kingdom does crumble away.

@theducktator

First off, that is a splendid parody of that classic Veggietales parody.

Secondly, I join the list of concerned KeePers. What has happened to the most noble Moderators who lead us? What shall our kingdom do without our ruling council?

Really, I hope we haven’t been dropped. And that the Ramms are ok. And the other moderators, like…[Read more]

@keilah-h

@hybridlore

Thanks you two.

As for online, I don’t trust it. I’ve heard and seen too many online things get hacked for my liking. 😅

Thanks for the suggestion though!

@keilah-h

*Grins and steeples fingers together*

Ah, a KaPeefer finally asked this most interesting of questions…

XD

Short story: “Fork the Gork!” Is a rally cry from one of my sister’s books (her Beliriegn children’s story, if she ever talks about it on here). Certain characters tend to use it with conjunction with their own battle cry “Fork…[Read more]

Or if we can’t do Slack find another free platform where we can have separate channels/forums to keep everything organized

I’m half-tempted just to create our own Slack community at this point. Since (i think) we all trust each other. And then only people we know can get in (no more stalkers XP).

Because if KP was just abandoned, then we’ve got our own little writing community that will live on

Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ Just an idea…

@keilah-h

Perhaps not, but it would be interesting to see what people noticed it.

@theducktator

XD

Oh gracious. That’s quite a parody.

It is concerning though. I wonder if there’s any other way to contact her.

@ellette-giselle

Ohhhhh nooooooo! Ellette! I’m so sorry! That’s terrible!

I’m glad LOS was okay… but I’m really sorry about your WIP. That’s terrible.

I use Word Online (microsoft365.com, I think…) to write, and it saves online so I can access it through my phone and other devices. That might be worth looking into for the future, since I’m pre…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

Great job!!!! I really liked it! I sure was nervous for them!

Poor Riker. I am really excited to see Erich show up!! He was a character I really liked from the last book. I’m really happy to see him again. I hope he gets a lot of “screen time”. 😂

I am wondering why Leon and Riker seem to be struggling with the lessons we…[Read more]

@keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon    @hybridlore     @linus-smallprint

So, in answer to all the questions:

the laptop did an un-authorized update. So while I hit save on all my documents, I still had them minimized instead of fully closed. Normally it tells me about the update and offers a time. I then shut everything fully down, make sure it’s…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Umm… Perehapes he was a slave, or at least treated like one, earlier in his life, along with his brothers and cousins. They escaped, and tired to help other slaves.

🤨

I wrote like two paragraphs of his backstory.

This is Omar we’re talking about.

Have you read the section where he introduces himself to Leon??

Okay l…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed Love it!!

@freed_and_redeemed

How… Wow. That’s pretty spectacular. I like it

🙂

By the way, I have this goofy habit of adding dialogue onto the end of what the author writes. Erich was in the middle of threatening to clean the place with his gun before I realized the conversation had changed. XD

Which is probably from how happy I was to see someone…[Read more]

Chase is glowstick

@freed_and_redeemed

Ouch. Leon, you’ve still got a pocket full of broken glass to work out.

Also…how did Erich end up in the US Army?!

(thank you for hitting Franz for me, Leon)