Liberty

@savannah_grace2009

I’m a little late to responding, but as I was reading the things you shared, I just had a couple thoughts. Not sure if they’ll be helpful or not, but I figured I’d share anyway and let you decide lol.

One thing I noticed that could potentially be a lie (and maybe this fits more for future scenes after this all takes place) is…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

One of my friends compared I think Nahim to someone from Star Wars or something, but idr.

Other than that, i don’t think anyone’s even known enough about my characters to compare them to others. Recently, I only really talk about characters on here or with Andrew. Mainly cuz my friends don’t really follow when I start ranting XD.

@hybridlore

He did, in his way. And he’ll address it again soon enough.

@liberty

WHAT!?!? You don’t like that one? (or are you choking with laughter?)

@koshka

Rory

Rory blinked slowly and looked around him. Where was he? what had happened? For a moment a shock of terror tore through him. Had they caught him:? was this…. His eyes found Leo’s and slowly the events of last night slid back into place. His shoulders relaxed and he looked down. “Sorry.”He glanced at Leo from the corner of his…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Amen! God writes the best stories.

@whalekeeper

Oh my. XD Lucille Barnes…..that’s perfect and I haven’t even seen the Mandalorian.

Now I have to remember who’s been compared to whom…I haven’t seen most of them so I usually don’t remember…

@whalekeeper

Oh, that’s not good. I’ll be praying you get stuff figured out, and find a good solution.

@stephie

Yay!! God is good!

The Knoweth Jesus Version all the way!!

Although I do sometimes use the Elect Standard Version for clarification. However,  sounds so much more “spiritual” to forget that, and just say I look it up in the WLC/BYZ. No matter that I can’t read it without Strong’s help. XD

@raxforge

Oh gracious. I’m trying to visualize how this would work/look like. XD

BTW, Sypher looks and acts pretty much like a 14 year old (he’s marginally older as his people have a slightly longer life spans than most people) just a 4 1/2 foot 14 year old. I don’t remember if I said his age…XD

Sypher

The world spun was a cacophony of color…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

*randomly pops in*

Maybe having Leon point that out would help readers realize it more?

@raxforge

Sypher

He looked up at this Rax person less than two feet taller than him and frowned. “I’m a little old to be riding shoulders, but…” a smile darted across his face. “If you wouldn’t mind my following you, I could use a wave breaker just about now. You know, follow in your wake. I’d be much obliged.”

He stuffed his hands into his…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I’m glad it helped! I knew a lot of it was randomness, but when I can look at my difficulty in a new light, everything can start to click. Randomness that really doesn’t fit is typically what I use like. XD

I was trying to imply with that part, how Neveah’s heart broke for Sef. Putting myself in Neveah’s shoes, nothing wou…

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@ellette-giselle

Leo

“Whoa, kid, don’t knock yourself out.” Leo got to his feet, setting Quincy down in the chair behind him and reaching to steady the comforter entangled boy. He caught Rory’s flailing hand. Dazed green eyes turned to look at him. Confused.

“Rory, sit back down.” He offered gave a gentle smile. “I don’t think you’re fully awake yet.

@elishavet-pidyon

Lol. Leon is more experienced than Julian. J will level out, he’s just excited and nervous and high strung and…. you get the point.

@linus-smallprint

AWWW!!! Adorable!!! So sweet!

And it feels like I’m going in circles. XD

If “you’re unloveable” is a side of her ‘shard of glass’, then maybe “your hopeless,” “you’re alone,” “your too far gone,” etc.

@savannah_grace2009

Wow. That’s dark. Pretty good story-wise, though. I’ll just go on a rabbit trail of plotting and hope it gives ideas. XD

I liked how you had Neveah try to combat the lie, and it’s obvious it’s for Sef’s sake, not her own. To make this sequence really work, maybe make Sef think her Mani is just trying to save herself – it’s…[Read more]

Ok! I read it. It’s good. They seem very inexperienced/in over their heads, but they’re handling it with humor so it’s funny. XD

Although the wolves were scary. O.O XD

@elishavet-pidyon

WHY would ANYONE in his right mind Say That?

It’s Julian who needs this speech. Go ask him.

He’s a little hot headed, he’s a firebrand, and he’s desperately excited to share the truth with his people.

 

Anyway, you probably do all that in this book, and I am really enjoying reading this. So far cultures are fascinating and the…

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