Liberty

@whalekeeper

Oh, that’s not good. I’ll be praying you get stuff figured out, and find a good solution.

@stephie

Yay!! God is good!

The Knoweth Jesus Version all the way!!

Although I do sometimes use the Elect Standard Version for clarification. However,  sounds so much more “spiritual” to forget that, and just say I look it up in the WLC/BYZ. No matter that I can’t read it without Strong’s help. XD

@raxforge

Oh gracious. I’m trying to visualize how this would work/look like. XD

BTW, Sypher looks and acts pretty much like a 14 year old (he’s marginally older as his people have a slightly longer life spans than most people) just a 4 1/2 foot 14 year old. I don’t remember if I said his age…XD

Sypher

The world spun was a cacophony of color…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

*randomly pops in*

Maybe having Leon point that out would help readers realize it more?

@raxforge

Sypher

He looked up at this Rax person less than two feet taller than him and frowned. “I’m a little old to be riding shoulders, but…” a smile darted across his face. “If you wouldn’t mind my following you, I could use a wave breaker just about now. You know, follow in your wake. I’d be much obliged.”

He stuffed his hands into his…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

I’m glad it helped! I knew a lot of it was randomness, but when I can look at my difficulty in a new light, everything can start to click. Randomness that really doesn’t fit is typically what I use like. XD

I was trying to imply with that part, how Neveah’s heart broke for Sef. Putting myself in Neveah’s shoes, nothing wou…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Leo

“Whoa, kid, don’t knock yourself out.” Leo got to his feet, setting Quincy down in the chair behind him and reaching to steady the comforter entangled boy. He caught Rory’s flailing hand. Dazed green eyes turned to look at him. Confused.

“Rory, sit back down.” He offered gave a gentle smile. “I don’t think you’re fully awake yet.

@elishavet-pidyon

Lol. Leon is more experienced than Julian. J will level out, he’s just excited and nervous and high strung and…. you get the point.

@linus-smallprint

AWWW!!! Adorable!!! So sweet!

And it feels like I’m going in circles. XD

If “you’re unloveable” is a side of her ‘shard of glass’, then maybe “your hopeless,” “you’re alone,” “your too far gone,” etc.

@savannah_grace2009

Wow. That’s dark. Pretty good story-wise, though. I’ll just go on a rabbit trail of plotting and hope it gives ideas. XD

I liked how you had Neveah try to combat the lie, and it’s obvious it’s for Sef’s sake, not her own. To make this sequence really work, maybe make Sef think her Mani is just trying to save herself – it’s…[Read more]

Ok! I read it. It’s good. They seem very inexperienced/in over their heads, but they’re handling it with humor so it’s funny. XD

Although the wolves were scary. O.O XD

@elishavet-pidyon

WHY would ANYONE in his right mind Say That?

It’s Julian who needs this speech. Go ask him.

He’s a little hot headed, he’s a firebrand, and he’s desperately excited to share the truth with his people.

 

Anyway, you probably do all that in this book, and I am really enjoying reading this. So far cultures are fascinating and the…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ok. I am in the middle of section 2. I’ll go back and finish it. I’m just so… amazed.

WHY would ANYONE in his right mind Say That? XD I’m sorry, it’s just something I remember from a visiting missionary. You rarely if ever start off saying “the gods are false.” Telling people everything they believe is a lie will typically…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

I like Rasins. Good for Leon and Julian not rejecting them.

why would anyone reject raisins!!??

Hmm. They’ve been away for about ten years, so things are going to feel very different to them. I can try to add a coming home feel.

Yes, they’ve had a wild day, and it’s just getting started.

Interesting. Both the…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Ooo, lies. XD if I remember right, they want to start with little lies (because they’re more believable) and then work toward bigger lies with more power. So here are some ideas for chains of lies.

“You should be able to be strong enough on your own” (so when you falter, “you must be a failure” can follow)

“If God loved you,…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

did you see the newest sections?

@savannah_grace2009

Can it be any lies or does it have to be something that has to do specifically with Pythonos? I’m not familiar enough with your stories to help if they have to be specific, but I might be able to give a few suggestions otherwise.

@linus-smallprint

Haha, That sounds like a funny strip.

Hmm, well you would be correct. Maybe. I like some long games, like Everdale, and I love Chess, but other then that I’m not much of a board game person. I like to play them once, (maybe twice) but after that it feels repetitive. *shrug*

I like card games tho. XD

The only time a…

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