Liberty

@ellette-giselle

Leo

Level 0. This place had a funny floor plan. He punched the button and leaned back against the wall as the elevator began its decent.

Rory was giving him a weird, confused look. What had he said? Done? Leo lifted an eyebrow. “Yes? What is it?”

@koshka

Rory

“Bolts and screws, bolts and screws.” Rory muttered slowly. For the amount of things they taught in Academy, there was very little about normal life. Mostly about killing and the most effective ways to do it. Rory racked his brain. The two words were familiar, but he couldn’t remember having encountered the things they repre…[Read more]

@rae

🫢

I can not believe he just said that to Dante

@rae

I would say it was fulfilled rather than changed. The Bible says not a dot not an iota will go away and nothing will change. (Murdering the wording, but that’s the raw meaning)

Otherwise yeah! Looking forward to the next part.

@loopylin np

Alpha

Alpha blinked. “No, not exactly. I’m a warrior, so I fight wherever in the stars they want me this time. Only time I ever thought of assassination was with some of those annoying lords in the Council, but if I did that, they’d probably lock me up again. And that’s no fun. I think they like sticking me with needles.” A shudder…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I will need to clear this up in the story i guess. I didn’t mean all the laws, I meant more the changes in that we no longer have to sacrifice animals because Jesus came as the ultimate sacrifice. The laws changed in little ways because Hope had finally come, we didn’t have to wait for it.

I will make this clearer in the text,…[Read more]

@loopylin

Oops. Poor Eddie. At least this kid does actually like to dance.

@loopylin @raxforge

Sprite kid don’t get it. XD

Sypher

He followed the lasses in, settling into the seat be across from them.

“Eddie. Ellie. Ah.” He blinked at her in concentration. Grinned. “I am named Sypher, but everyone who doesn’t call me that, calls me Syph. As for dancing, or rather…I don’t believe I understand. What days are open”

@ellette-giselle

Leo

He grinned. “First off you’re going to sit on that couch in the basement break room and sort a bucket of bolts and screws that I accidentally dumped together last week. Or maybe that was two weeks ago.” He paused to blink up at the ceiling for a moment, then refocused on Rory. “Anyway, you’ll do that while I check the work…[Read more]

@rae

this was another good section. I feel like you’re really sinking into a good style and voice with this. I had a slight problem with one sentence though.

When Immanuel came, the laws God previously had placed changed.

I don’t see that in the Bible. If anything, the laws were reinforced more strongly. (You have heard it said do not commit adu…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Who is James? (I think I want him to be someone who is laid back and jokes around a lot, but occasionally has a moment where he shows surprising wisdom.

oh. That’s not at all how I pictured him.

idk if this is a good idea, but I pictured him as quieter and much more thoughtful. Someone who is constantly watching and l…[Read more]

@esther-c

It looks a lot better! One thing I noticed is that Antonio does say “fabuloso” twice.

“Then the topic conveniently comes up in a conversation with Easton.”

Also, I feel like this might be better if you just change it to “Then I can ask Easton” or something like that. Otherwise, it looks great! I like the way you made Hallie more rea…[Read more]

*pops head in*

I’m so happy to see this forum still active and well🥹🥲

@kielah-h @ellette-giselle @raxforge @whalekeeper @hybridlore

This is the final part of Story 9.

In my writing document, I named this story temporarily as ‘Delirium’ but I would like some better title ideas if you can give me some. Thx in advance.

Five days had passed since Baron had been taken to the Handel mansion and his symptoms…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Awwww!!!

But in six months he’s moving to Florida for college…..😭😭

At least I have a little brother <333 I love him to DEATH…I literally love him so muchhhh

That is so funny that your MC is named Hallie because (I know I’ve told you this before but Imma say it again hahaha) my little sister’s name is Hallie!!! so it’s just…

[Read more]

@koshka

I know!! Poor kid. You don’t know whether to laugh or cry.🥺

Rory

Rory leaned against the wall and ran his arm over his forehead. “So, where are we going? Now that I’m your assistant, what should I do?”

(sorry, but Rory and I are equally lost on how to move forward. We don’t know much about the school’s underworld.)

@linus-smallprint

It looks good to me! (But I’m not a huge outliner as previously stated.)

so, does this mean you’re gonna start posting chapters?! 😃

@loopylin

Yeah, I don’t usually respond on here either, but I still try to bring the posts I see to God.

And, oof. Getting a job can be rough. I’ll be praying.

@loopylin

I bet if i made Dante bored enough, he’d sneak into the school and pretend to be a student for the day. That would be fun.

lol

@loopylin

Alpha

Alpha shrugged. “She put a kid in the hospital, and thought she could take care of me too. So I stabbed her. And yes, I do often stab people.” Alpha paused, thinking about what he had just said, for the first time considering how his audience would take that information without context. “Though, it’s not just because I’m bored.…[Read more]