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I agree with Esther! Maybe just flesh out a little more of what’s happening with the characters’ emotions and minds. That will help to feel like we’re really in the scene and it’s going to little slower. I’m excited to see where this goes!!
"To death or to victory"
Hey @esther-c!
Okay, I do this ALL THE TIME!!! In fact, my biggest, finished WIP started out as a fanfic in another world, so it had to undergo MASSIVE edits for me to remove it from that world and place it in another. I hope maybe I can be helpful, but I look forward to hearing other ideas too.
So here’s the thing…I don’t think having a few recognizable elements is a bad thing. I’ve been reading the Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer and she TOTALLY copies the “I’ve never been kissed and want to before I die” scene from Little Women. I think it’s fun when you have a few little elements from some things, just not a ton because you’re right that that’s plagiarizing.
My suggestion would be this: change it just enough, but leave in what you like about the element. For example, have something that controls minds, but maybe it’s not a machine? Maybe it’s a magic object, a relic, or even a person? Or if there’s an instrument that causes pain to people, make it do that in a different way than Leeli’s dose. Maybe the sound doesn’t hurt them their ears, but it physically causes some sort of injury…
Not sure if that’s possible for your story, but I hope it helps! Toss out any other ideas you’ve got of how to change it and I’d love to bounce back more ideas!!
good luck!"To death or to victory"
Thank you for tagging me and please keep doing so!! This is really great! Your vocabulary and wording is spot on. Your characters are really great too and I love all of their names. Any reasoning behind the names you chose?
My only critique might be that events seem to be playing out a little quickly, but that might be okay depending on the feel you go for. *shrugs* Anyway, great work!!"To death or to victory"
I’m a nursing student, so this is my kind of question! XD Yes, nurses can definitely specialize in different things. She could be an operating room nurse or an oncology nurse (works with cancer patients) or a pediatric nurse who works with kids or a labor and delivery nurse who delivers babies. There’s a huge list of what she could do, you should be able to find a list of specialities on Google somewhere, I think…
Maybe the dad works something like electrical or construction? Those would be things he would be really active for. And for Scott, it seems like most starter jobs are in fast food or retail. Hope this helps!!
"To death or to victory"
Hey! Here’s the deal….I’m something of a plotter and simultaneously a panster, but I typically lean more toward the plotting side. (To back myself up, I have legitimately finished an entire co-written novel, several successful short stories, and a novella. I’m not saying that to brag, just proving that I do finish projects XD)
I know it’s hard when you get caught up in the excitement of a new story to just start writing and not take the time to think through the ins and outs of how the story will play out! What I’ve found helpful is to take all of the creativity that happens at the beginning of the story and write it all down. Don’t start writing the story yet, just throw down everything you have into a random notebook or a random doc on your computer. Make yourself take a couple of days just to mull over the characters/setting/etc. in your head before you start your project. (Another thing that can really help is thinking about your MC’s greatest fear, their deepest longing, their best strength and worst weakness. You can also jot down things like what theme you hope to express in the book, etc.) So once you have this really messy document with all the important stuff after a couple of days with all your ideas, start a new page and make a general outline of what you want the story to look like. Then…start writing! If your outline goes out the window when you start, who cares? You can change it whenever you want. Just make sure that you stick to the big themes and progressions you imagined in the beginning.
I don’t know if this will be helpful to you at all, but it’s what has worked for me in the past. Hope it’s helpful!!
"To death or to victory"
Hi @hannahn!
Nice to meet you! I’m Landri C. I’m a college nursing student (previously homeschooled) who loves medicine, writing fantasy/fiction, reading, and music.
I like some good romance! I’m typically a fan of slightly older Christian romance (like Janette Oke) but I read some modern stuff as well sometimes! I mostly write in fantasy/medieval/adventure realms but I like to toss in a good romance now and again.
Newbie questions!
1. Any bookish details? (Harry Potter house, Camp Half Blood cabin, Myers Briggs type, etc?)2. Favorite music to listen to while writing? (I love the Narnia soundtracks 🙂
3. Any pets?
See you around!
"To death or to victory"
Thanks! I’m so glad you like the WIP idea!! I’ll post if it works out 😉
"To death or to victory"
Thank you!! I’m glad it sounds appealing! I’m picturing her sort of like that too. We’ll see what happens, but I’ll definitely post when I get the first bit done!
"To death or to victory"
I’m an INFJ-T on the Myers-Briggs! I have a brother and he’s 13, so I’m the oldest of two kids.
Oooo…music genre is hard! I know someone already mentioned One Republic. If I’m listening to pop, its them or American Authors. But I really love folk and bluegrass! (Let’s go Arcadian Wild!!!!)
"To death or to victory"
Also, what would you imagine Kuyper looking like based on the above descriptions?
"To death or to victory"
Yess, you should definitely keep going!!
Thanks!! I’m glad you like her so far 😉
"To death or to victory"
Yes!! I love Ranger’s Apprentice! They’re all really good. He does some fantastic plot twists later on.
"To death or to victory"
I’m down to answer and chat!
- My favorite color is olive/army green
- I’m definitely a dog person over a cat person, but I think my favorite animals are sea otters!
- Favorite books of mine…The Scarlet Pimpernel, The Horse and His Boy, Mariel of Redwall, The Burning Bridge (and all the series those go with 😉
- To share…currently, I’m drafting a new story idea over on the YWW challenge this week….see what you guys think of all this!
Blurb:
Kuyper has been on her own for a long time. Rivesque is not exactly the best kingdom to navigate on your own, but sixteen-year-old Kuyper is an expert at fending for herself in the streets. But when an accident resulting in a classified information leak forces Kuyper to seek out higher help, she finds herself tossed into a team of six young people (human and animal) who are the only ones capable of saving Rivesque. As Kuyper is pushed beyond her limits and her secrets are exposed, can she find the strength to continue?
What’s one important desire that your protagonist has?
Kuyper wants connection and family. She desires someone who will love and accept her, but she never remembers having had this feeling, so she doesn’t really know that’s her desire.What’s one important moral weakness that your protagonist has?
Kuyper is very untrusting and struggles to be loyal. Having been abandoned so often and used to fending for herself, relationships are difficult. She is guilty of thinking of turning traitor multiple times to protect herself rather than the group.What’s one important fear that your protagonist has?
Kuyper is afraid of being found out. Unlike the people around her, Kuyper is a telepath. She can hear the thoughts and feelings of those around her. She’s never shared this detail with anyone since she was a child because she is too afraid of being shown to have magical parentage. (That’s a crime in their society.)What’s one personality trait your protagonist can have that’s inspired by someone you know in real life?
Kuyper is extremely intuitive to the moods and feelings of others. She does her best to help and comfort, even thought she can come across as a little rough on the exterior. (As influenced by a close friend of mine 😉)What’s one admirable character quality that your protagonist has?
Kuyper is extremely wise. She has a great head for planning, fighting, and strategy. She can think her way out of almost any situation based on previous experience. However, she also follows her moral code of chivalry, justice, and mercy very carefully. She does not give advice unless asked, but her advice is sound and true.Backstory:
Kuyper was born to a human mother and a father with magic mixed in his past. Therefore, Kuyper gains telepathy through her father’s blood. At a very young age, both of her parents were killed by other banished magical creatures because of judgements they made on Kuyper’s parents choices. Kuyper’s memory was wiped by the creatures and she was deposited at an orphanage. She ran away at the ripe old age of five and has been making money dumpster diving and street fighting ever since."To death or to victory"
Here’s some ideas! (I’m thinking you want “s” names???)
Mom: Selina, Sophie, Sara, Samantha, Sage, Selah, Sylvie
Dad: Samuel, Silas, Spencer, Stephen, Soren, Seth
"To death or to victory"
Not me realizing I just said “homeschool” instead of “homeschooled”…it’s pretty bad when your grammar is wrong on a writer forum XD"To death or to victory"
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