I feel like I’m just getting the hang of things and now it’s ending!

So relatable lol, and it goes by too quick.

I would love that. I am going to start editing it soon, but I’ve been so busy.

Cool, I’ll check it out soon.

Hello, I’m Shadow, nice to meet you, welcome back to KP! Congrats on finishing your first draft! How has high school been?
If you want, I’d be happy to look at your new draft.

Yeah, of course!

Hey!! I just read a chapter you posted a while back and it looks really interesting! I’ll probably stick around to read the rewrite. I’m excited!!

And to answer your questions…

First, about magic, I totally respect others’ opinions of not reading or watching stuff like that (like Harry Potter). But my opinion is that stuff l…[Read more]

Hello! I know I recently posted on my WIP, but here is the blurb for another story idea that I got from reading the first paragraph of one of my sisters’ stories. I haven’t written much, but it looks like it’ll turn out…[Read more]

I love it! I have the same thoughts as Cloaked Mystery. Also it might help if you spread out the chapter a little more. The events seem to happen really fast, and the reader barely has time to process before the next event happens. Sorry if that doesn’t make sense, I’m not good at explaining what I mean, haha!  Maybe go more into…[Read more]

Yeah, I figured she wouldn’t go willingly, but wouldn’t it still make sense to try? And yeah, they probably would take Kydon to, but you could have Evander show up in time to get Kydon out or something.

This is ramping up!

WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER FAST!!! XD XD

(I have the same question as Cloaked Mystery, why would the twins tell Kydon to come but leave Willow? Was she out?)

Oh boy… what is gonna happen… 😃

Once again, I have one question: Is Willow in the house with Kydon in the first paragraph?

Awesome can’t wait to see what happens next!

One thing that bothers me is, why did the twins separate Kydon and Willow like that? They sent a message to Kydon telling him to come to them, but left Willow behind and at the same time sent Evander to protect Willow. Wouldn’t it have made more sense for them to have had Kydon bri…[Read more]

Ooooohhh!! This got interesting fast! XD

@jonas @esther-c @kydonandwillow

If you guys like it and want to see the next chapter, let me know!

Prologue: Elysium

Many years ago, peace reigned on…[Read more]

I love that idea! sounds so intriguing!

I don’t think it’s that cliche, just like @jonas commented earlier. I love the names of your characters!

XXD honestly, I sort of wish I could slow down and read normally sometimes.. it’s just, when I get so caught up in a book I don’t want to lol. But I guess it is a nice skill to have for other things, just I feel like I miss things sometimes. I’m glad I don’t have to read every single word, though.

Wait y’all read fast too??? Me and my sister read faster than anyone else in my family (mostly because we skim things xD I didn’t know other people did that too!)

Willa is a Black Lab/Border Collie cross. She is a sweetie!

Here’s the link to my WIP: https://editor.reedsy.com/s/p8SdhuQ

Let me know what you think!

Maybe I should have you make up names for my story, haha! I am terrible at making up names for places, names of people, rivers and stuff like that! I made up the name Azuri, but that’s about the only one. I usually look up “weird names” on google and use what I like.

Exactly!!!! My little sister HATES reading with a passion too! All she will read is non-fiction about animals and stuff like that. All I read is fiction, so we’re polar opposites! I read about 300 pages in about 3 to 4 hours so I can read about a book per day in the summer. It takes my dad a month to finish a book of the same…[Read more]

I know! Sometimes I read so much I get “banned” from the library because I don’t spend time with my family when I’m reading, haha!

Okay. That works. If you wanted to, you could probably come up with a “scientific” explanation as well, like having the eye color be linked to some other generic trait that runs in the family.

This is great! I like how things are amping up. One thing I think could be improved is to wait longer before Willow talks. The readers, along with Kydon feel tension from the previous scene, and in my opinion, it would be better to stretch that out instead of resolving it a few paragraphs later. Also, about Kydon and Willow both…[Read more]

Oh ok.. I might’ve confused myself lol 😅

Just read it… 😐

Oh. My. Goodness. My heart literally almost stopped, lol.

One question: Is their father one of the Tarnas you mentioned in the first post… that lived a bit of a while away?

Ok!

So there’s a pretty big age gap between them?

OOOOhhhhhhHHH!!

One question. What made Willow change her mind so drastically?? She was so adamant about it before. Why is she suddenly ok with it??

Ok, I lied. Two questions. How old is Willow?

It doesn’t seem terribly cliche to me. I would agree that the lost heirs trope is really common. My advice would be to find a way to twist that trope. Changing cliches in interesting ways is one of the best ways to create good plots. I know KP has some articles that address this that you could check out.

Oh boy……. 😶

Gotcha. 🙃

This seems like a good start to a story and I’m interested to see where it’s going! There’s just one thing I would point out:

After the box is dropped, and Kydon hides, it seems like it changes perspectives briefly to the twins, because if Alyson is hiding he wouldn’t see them point at him. This is assuming that you’re using a l…[Read more]

Ooo… this is getting interesting….

I don’t know why, but Kydon’s thoughts in the last sentence had me laughing.

I don’t have too much to say, but maybe you could combine some of the sentences so that is runs smoother. Like, instead of saying:

• Caleb dropped a box suddenly and it broke open. Bows, arrows, swords, and…

[Read more]

Awesome! 😄

Ooo.. I’m excited to find out what it is… 😏

It sounds good still! 😀 There are some things that I noticed, though…

I know in the first chapter you mentioned the brick walkway, but you may want to add even more description the twin’s house so the picture is painted better. As the reader, I’m wondering if its large or small? What color are the walls and what kind of…[Read more]

Yay! (sorry this is late… heh heh)

Reading it now… 😁

Oh, I didn’t see your reply to grcr 😅 lag.

Ok, I see. 😄

I love it!! Onnnneeeee thing that stood out to me was this line (and please take my comments with a grain of salt):

He thought of his sister’s gentle, quiet spirit, and his restless, fiery one and shook his head. Sometimes he didn’t believe that they were related.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, but it’s kind of going a…[Read more]

Hi there!

I like it so far. I love the how you wrote it. I thought the part where he put the nightgown in the oven was funny…😄

I’m not fully qualified for editing, but I did have one question….

Is Kydon on his way to give the muffins in the first paragraph of the book? I was a bit confused… at first I thought he was…[Read more]

1. People like myself, honestly. My sister pointed this out because Willow is how I am around strangers. But Kydon is how I am around my siblings and good friends at 3 a.m.!

That’s awesome! (Totally understand hanging with friends/siblings late at night. It can be dangerous 🤣) Those characters sound like so much fun!!

2. Janner! F…

[Read more]

Hello! I’m Light Warrior Pen, romantic suspense writer and all around artsy person.

Questions:

Do you include romance in your writing?

If you could go anywhere in the world and didn’t have to worry about time, money, or safety, where would you go?

Have you ever been published (blogs count)?

Welcome to the Kingdom!

Welcome to Kingdom Pen!! I’m Esther: a volleyball-playing, violin-squeaking, dog-obsessed, homeschooled, fiction-writing, God-loving, teen girl!

Time for some questions!

1. Who’s your favorite character to write? Why?/What are they like?

2. Who’s your favorite character from either a movie/tv show or book/series?

3. If you c…[Read more]

Cool! My brother is an engineering student, and he is making a sci-fi space fantasy book too! *whispers* I don’t understand half of it!

That’s really cool! Is he getting into the more engineering aspect with spaceships and stuff? Is he exploring other sci-fi concepts with a little more rigor, like with physics and biology?

Soft, m…

[Read more]

Hello, welcome to KP!

I’m the Arcane Axiom. I love math, searching for divine fundamental truth, and exploring that in my writing. I read/write sci-fi/fantasy, and my current project is a universe I’m making with my sister called the Septrum.

Questions!

Do you lean towards hard or soft worldbuilding? (Hard meaning more concrete…[Read more]

Good choices 😋

So an aesthetic is like… I don’t even know how to explain it 😂… like an art style, but for your everyday life – clothes, accessories, music. There are a bunch of genres, like dark academia, soft girl, or cottagecore. If you look some up, it might make more sense than what I just said!

And you can make up your…[Read more]

Oooh, I have not read the Wingfeather Saga yet! Thats so cool, what kind of dog do you have?

Welcome! I’m Acancello, also known as Allison! I’m homeschooled and  I love guinea pigs, dogs, traveling, acting, trying weird food, writing, reading, talking and a lot more 😁! I’m so glad you could come to Kingdom Pen! OK, now I’ll ask you some hopefully not already asked questions 🙂

What’s your favorite book series?…[Read more]

Hello ❤️ Nice to meet you!

I’m Whaley. I’m into cartoon superheroes, bright, creative metaphors, and snickerdoodles.

What’s your favorite color to wear?

Would you rather ride a double-decker bus or a penny farthing?

Favorite aesthetic?

Hi there!

I’m -GRCR-! I’m a homeschooled artist and fiction writer!

I like the names! There’re pretty cool! 🙂

Here’s a question:

When you begin writing, what would you create first: the world or the characters who live there?

Same!!

Wow, that’s a long time! What kind of music do you like to play?