Koshka

@freed_and_redeemed

Glad it was helpful! (Am more than mildly curious who this character will be)

Gracious, I don’t like this guy. Or Riker’s father much either. They’re…slimy. *stalks out of room*

@freed_and_redeemed

Hmm… stubborn characters can be troublesome.

Here are me thoughts. Use such as are helpful, discard such as aren’t.

• He already can’t live with his guilt/shame/hopelessness. That is quite obvious. He just needs to realize what is already clear to everyone else including the reader.
• Due to the very fact that he hasn’t…

[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

Thank you so much for the update, the poor dears. They need some help. And maybe some tea and cookies.

So…I have some feedback for Riker’s scene. I am supposing this is nearing the crisis point of the second book, as Riker is getting a broken record sensation with his guilt. Otherwise…ooof. That was a hard scene.

Also, I…[Read more]

If someone ever makes their tag line something like @everyone-else or @anyone-who-reads-this I already pity them.

@elishavet-pidyon

They got us alright.

(Also, @AllOtherKeepers Hi y’all! I’m haven’t croaked yet, praise the Lord.)

@mineralizedwritings

What?! Oops…no Artham doesn’t die. (It did sound like that, now looking back at my wording XD)

No, I was referring to Pete’s anguish when he realizes his little brother is still alive (although fading fast and is not responding to the… telepathy thing).

@freed_and_redeemed

Hmm, that is a bit of a pickle.

Perhaps he was originally just afraid of (and a little bit for) Adinah. He didn’t hate them at first (that’s not something that happens overnight). He kept the boyd because, at the root, he did at first still love Adinah (and them) and vaguely wanted to keep them safe.

Also, he doesn’t have to…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

*Strangled noises*

…

Please don’t kill Moishe. It may be a pretty amazing wrapup if Mathias is killed (not that you are planning to do that, I’m just a fellow writer{rather concerned btw over those choices[does he go to a camp?(If he does, is it the one Riker is stationed at?)]}), but please…that would just be…[Read more]

@theducktator

That death made me madder than possibly any other death/supposed death in the books. It was sweet though, that each of the kids got to feel their father’s love in their own special way.

Peet though. Peet hurt.

@whalekeeper

I have no idea which group you are asking (if any. The general somebody is always an option), but you’re welcome to join in with anybody anytime. Technically an RP shouldn’t have to depend on groups.

@freed_and_redeemed

*GASPETH*

I like this new story. A lot. Matthias sounds amazing. Charna sounds amazing.

I know it’s not a main WIP or anything, but I would like to hear more of this book whenever you have any other randomness to share. =)

@rae

I’m going to pop in and give my tidbit (because that’s so much more fun than homework).

1. Some scenes need to be short, some long, depending on what’s being delt with. This one may be short, but it’s a good length for the subject.

2. No? It just felt like a wrap up description of Mandin/a scene conclusion/transition to whatever was coming…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

My advice as a middle-grade writer and a YA reader:

1. Stick as much as possible to inner turmoil. Instead of focusing on how much the outward character is being damaged, focus on how the inner character is coping/struggling/whatever.

2. Instead of portraying each individual blow/whatever, gloss it all together into a simple…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

Okay, I’m back to finish going through your scene.

What are your thoughts on Aaron/Joash? Do you feel bad for them at all, or do they just seem like villains?

I understand them and what they are doing. While they don’t seem like total villains to me (I see them in both a realistic and historical context), I hate what they are…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

Hi! I didn’t read through all your questions yet since I don’t have much time right now. I’ll try to come back and answer them. =)

Is Riker’s sudden panic/possible panic attack realistic? If not, does anyone that has experienced a panic attack have any pointers? (I’ve only been on the brink of one once…it was not fun&#…

[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

They were…twins. I forgot…

Oh.

How could you?

@freed_and_redeemed

Pastor Nikolai Aleksandr Smirnov and MGB Agent Peter Dimitri Kuznetsov together as the MCs of a novel would be fabulous…I’m getting ideas already…oh no XXD

What?! Another book? Oh dear. XD

A quick side note: did you intend Alesandr and Dimitri to be middle names or were you referring to patronymics (the father’s (or other…[Read more]