Hullofellowhumans

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

Jayson

This was awkward.

“Jayson, Rafael, which would you two prefer?” the older man turned to Raffe with a gentle smile. I glanced at my Commando In Arms (I’ll explain later, it has to do with cereal boxes).

“Well,” Raffe paused as if tasting his thoughts before serving them for general consumption. “I think you’r…[Read more]

@overcomer

Here’s the poem I’ve been struggling with. The first and fourth stanzas irritate me the most.

I also have no idea who to tag for this anymore (the last thing I submitted for critiques was some time ago) but feel free to tag anyone.

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

Okay y’all, I just got off on Christmas break, so I should be able to RP consistently for a week or so, if y’all are up to getting the Leon, Elenore, Isaiah, ect. group up again.

@overcomer

Oh, I’ve done that soo many times… the interesting rabbit holes we find. I believe the last one I fell down was the difference was Scottish sayings and proverbs. I didn’t find what I was looking for, but as I now can no longer remember what that was everything is fine. XD

Ah, freeverse…

Freeverse is a thing

That I cannot…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

You’re fine! I had to get a college essay finished and turned in, so the delay was probably a good thing.

And I’m gonna go ahead and give their reactions.

Jayson

Jehovah, YHWH. I glanced at Raffe in time to see his eyebrows lower and hear him whisper “HaShem.” The Name.

A small thing, perhaps, to a Jesus name…[Read more]

@livingwoodchronicles

*summersaults through window*

Oi there! I have been informed that you were back!

*Deep curtsey*

I’m still around, though life doesn’t allow me time enough to do much more than snoop. And appear on random conversations to insert…

Something.

Anyway, it’s good to see/hear(read?) you again. Hows Bramble?

@power

Ick…please don’t remind me of that.

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

Would one of y’all like to RP?

It KP acting really weird for anyone else? I can only access the forum via my notifications, and then only specific pages.

@overcomer

Ooo, I do prefer Ending Verse #4. It continues in the same voice as the preceding poem, while resolving the whole thing in a smooth switch of tone. (If that made any sense)

I think it would benefit from a little more structure, it need not be much more than you already have.

But that’s all according to the artist’s interpretation. It…[Read more]

@overcomer

Ooo, I like this poem.

I’m not the most amazing of a poet, but I’ll post any polishing I can think of in a bit.

Thanks for sharing!

AhA!! I have found it!

And now I consider.

*Thoughtful crickets*

Very nice. Are you going to share more soon? Because…

BWAHAHAHA

=)

@freedomwriter76

GAHHH…

That poor dear. He’s in a mess that just keeps getting messier.

*Nods*

Well done! I understood what was going on even though you never said “it may be infected” or something like that. And the rising angst and suspense…I can’t wait to see what happens next.

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

Jayson

Shy: being reserved or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people. The look on the girl’s face, Eleanor?, wasn’t exactly what I would call timidity. More…fear, fear that would rather stab me than shake my hand.

“Ah, that’s alright, I’ve been there before. Good to meet you, sirs.” I nodded to…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @smiley
Eleanor. XD
Jayson

“Who are you?!”

Civilians. Great. No firearms necessary. I latched my watch back on my wrist and scrunched my eyebrows at the young lady. Faint British accent, over aggressive manner. Probably scared out of her witts if I had learned anything in Psyc.

Raphael slid his hands in his pockets with a sma…[Read more]

Note: we are still sorting out Raphael’s family history/denomination, so, besides knowing that they’re very observant, that’s kinda in the air. While he does end up messianic, he’s not quite there yet.

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

These two are written in a style that is way not my usual limited omniscient view, part of the reason they’re now joining this castle. So if the voice jumps around a bit, blame Jay.

Jayson Barans

Long gloomy halls after long muggy stairways. Just a few minutes in this place and the dark ages were making a lot more…[Read more]

@smiley @freedomwriter76

Alright, first quick descriptions.

Jayson Barans

Appearance: 5′ 10″, wavy brown hair, hazel eyes, lightly suntanned caucasian. 17 years of age.

Nationality: Canadian American. {Polish, Native, English, Irish.

Pastimes: cross country running, martial arts, books, viola, parkour, firearms.

Religion: Apostolic…[Read more]

@overcomer

Beautiful. The way you used layered meanings of words is making me want to get my violin out and sing. I love the ambiguous speaker who could be just anyone; you, me, a fairy child…it makes my imagination shiver.

I don’t have any real critiques, but as I just ran across this two months after it was posted, I suppose that doesn’t…[Read more]