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@keilah-h

Hesh

The door swung open with an ominous groan. Hesh could feel the darkness of beyond the door drawing them towards it like a maelström. A chill trickled down his spine. Whoever owned this castle was quite clearly not friendly.

“We going in there?” Rinzler asked, the lights on his odd clothes causing eerie shadows to dance like some…[Read more]

@keilah-h

Hesh

Hesh listened, agape, as the crew meandered down the long, dark passage. He wondered if it was possible to literally talk someone’s ear off. In his line of work, people generally kept to themselves. Feather’s openness was… refreshing.
Hesh cleared his throat. “Well, to answers your first question…” He trailed off. Should he t…[Read more]

Sorry it took so long for me to respond! I was out.

Hesh

Hesh eyed the discs Rinzler wielded. He did not want to be on the wrong side of those.  He listened to the pair’s harsh whispers. He felt his heart drop to his stomach. Could they trust him? He wouldn’t—couldn’t—trust himself. Betrayal haunted him like a shadow, following his every step…[Read more]

Hesh

He lifted his head. What in the world were they talking about? Starships? He had heard of ships and stars, but not starships.

The woman introduced herself and began to introduce the man, but cut her off. He was obviously distrustful.

He set his mouth with purpose. Clearly, neither him nor the two in front of him knew where they were. They…[Read more]

No problem!

Good idea. Focus on book one, and if book two happens, fantastic! Just see where the story leads.

I think that just hinting and foreshadowing the shadow group would work well, because then you don’t have to commit to book two, but can choose to write book two if you want.

Happy writing!

Hmmm… well then, as a reader I wouldn’t expect it (unless if there is some FANTASTIC use of foreshadowing and allusion). But, if they’re there, I feel like the group should be revealed eventually.

I just had a crazy thought! What if the shadow group is revealed slightly in an ominous scene, and sets the stage for a sequel!

However, I don’t…[Read more]

Sounds great! Although, as a reader I would probably want something to happen with the shadow group…

This is quite exciting!

In my head, I was picturing him starting to doubt and starting to go insane and break down. But then something happens to make him realise that, though he made a HUGE mistake, he cant just… melt?… and he has to fix the problems he has made and maybe uncover the secret organisation and make a stand against the…[Read more]

Hmmm… I see. This could lead to some great things in Anti’s character arc. Perhaps, though he was convinced at the time of the MC’s death, but later begins to doubt whether it was truly justified… I know so little about your story, and already I am seeing so much potential! Maybe one day I will learn more…

I was also thinking, has the antagonist ever killed someone before? That could help to figure out how it affects him. Good luck with your scene!

Hmmm… I was reading through this, and I came up with another question:

How does your MC’s death affect the antagonist?

Of course, there would be repercussions for committing the act, but on a deeper level, how is Anti affected?

Cool! Thanks!

Thrawn (or Mith’raw’nuru’odo) is, in my opinion, a very complex character. He, along with Darth Vader, is one of my favourite Star Wars villains.

Hesh furled his eyebrows. “Are we not at one of the Emperor’s estates?” He had boarded a ship sailing to a high land of Yamazen and, though the trip had been brimming with mist and storm, the captain had assured him that they had arrived safely at their intended harbour.
 
He glanced around. Now that he was really looking, everything  seem…[Read more]

Already written

Yes! I love both real and figurative cheesiness. Of course, he is not always cheesy, he can also often have a Grand-Admiral-Thrawn-like tone.

Hesh looked down at the two people before him. They seemed but children, albeit with an odd taste in clothing. What in the world were those disks?  Quickly he got into character— they were already suspicious.
“Hello,” he smiled carefully. “Are you new transfers too? I’ll admit I feel a bit… out of place. I’m sure that will be remedied when…[Read more]

Yes! The main reason he is not very developed yet is because I made him up last week…

Speaking of thieves… have you read A Face Like Glass by Francis Hardinge? The character called the Kleptomancer is a pretty cool thief.