Beth

@loopylin

Would you like Dante and Alpha to interact? I can have him go back to their room. If not, that’s ok too :]

Sure. Sorry I haven’t been very active.

I’ll write something short with Alpha quick

Alpha

The scraping sound of blade to stone filled the room. Alpha carefully sharpened one of his knives, before stopping and checking the edge. D…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Awesome! I approved it.

@liberty

I’m going to be able to submit something!!!!!!!

@keilah-h @ellette-giselle

Y’all were talking about British and Australian exclamations and it reminded me of something that happened recently…

So we have friends who are Australian, but their dad is the only one who actually naturally has the accent. I’m a sucker for the Aussie accent, lol. And I was talking with him one time and with some…[Read more]

Also, one thing I just thought of; we don’t really care about the characters’ families since we haven’t met them yet. Maybe it would be a good idea to lengthen the first chapter by showing Jack and Elina getting home and seeing their parents and siblings.

@theshadow

This chapter does a good job building up the suspense! The only thing I would say is yeah, Ellette has a point. These girls seem to be so mean for no real reason that I can guess at yet. It makes them feel flatter, rather than like actual people who have motives and stuff for their actions. Their ultimate goal, especially in a…[Read more]

@jonas

Thaliu. I liked the feel together.

@jonas

That’s cool! Lol it’s funny cuz I was just thinking that a painting magic system would go good with one of my worlds. It’s not even the first time this has happened XD

@jonas

Wow. I love this idea. This sounds super interesting. Is it connected to your current series?

@ellette-giselle

Aw, that’s okay! If you know of a different way to get it through, I’m open to trying other things, but I understand if it’s too difficult for you to do right now.

Some things I’d really like to hear from y’all are scene ideas. I’m planning to go back and extend a lot of the earlier chapters (at least 1-6) because I didn’t have the same word count goal for them as I do now. So if you have any ideas for scenes that would fit into those (or future scenes) I would love to hear them. So far I have a chapter…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle (I know you’re away, so don’t feel obligated to respond to this until you get back) @theshadow @whalekeeper @koshka @raxforge

Sorry these are late, it slipped my mind until last night. Without further ado, here are chapters seven and eight (also known as the underground church cha…[Read more]

@jonas

My favorite is Chromancy, but I also like Chromamancy, Prismathurgy, and Spectrathurgy. For some reason the sole “t” and “l” sounds bother me when placed in front of “urgy”.

@jonas

I think I like Spectrachromy/lurgy the best. I also like Chromamancy.

@ellette-giselle

thx.

I did have a scene before this one, but I didn’t deem it ready for posting, since there are a few things I want to smooth out first. Hopefully that scene will make it flow better.

@ellette-giselle @hybridlore @whalekeeper @keilah-h

Sorry for not posting in eight days. I hit Writer’s Block while trying to edit the next story to go on here and writing the next one 🙁

I’m not sure how long until I can post the full thing, but until then, I’m gonna post a snippet of the next…[Read more]

@theshadow

Sorry it took me a day to get back to you. Even though you said you didn’t like this first chapter much, I think it has potential. It introduces the characters and their world pretty well. It is a very short chapter. Is that normal throughout the book, or is this the exception? It’s fine to have shorter chapters, but I think it might…[Read more]

@esther-c Gotcha! A P.S. would be fun, but it might lessen the impact of the ending, so it depends on what you do. As it is right now, it doesn’t scream “actual letter” to me. It’s kind of like a thank-you-note (not exactly, but I don’t know how else to explain it.) or just a note. With a word count as short as yours, that’s fine, but maybe it’d…[Read more]

@hybridlore

It looks great! This was a cool idea. I think you did a good job inserting a theme into such a tiny paragraph. Out of curiosity, how much do you have left in the word count?

Thanks!! Oh yes, that was so hard! I was going to keep it lighthearted and goofy, and then I was like, Hold on. And tried something a little different. 😛

Ummm… a…[Read more]