Writers' Corner #15

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  • #71243
    J.A. Penrose
    @jess-penrose
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 377

      @rochellaine Haha, I won’t let Connor die. He’s too precious. *Wraps up in blankets*

       

      Writer | Freelance Editor
      Inspiration&lt

      SeekJustice
      @seekjustice
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 3365

        @rochellaine

        Uncle Bill is famous yes 😀 He’s even got his picture on a post out in Kangaroo Valley 🙂

        Okay, so what I was thinking (as I was trying not to fall off a cliff) was that irrationality is a symptom of heat exhaustion/stroke, so maybe Uncle Bill tells her to walk back to the road and try to flag down a car, so she does, but when she gets there and waits for a bit and no cars come, she starts to panic.

        and irrationally decides to be brave and try to walk to town. But that turns out badly, and discourages her from being confident again, in case she makes another mistake later on in the book. Does that make sense? I think it fits with her character, what do you think?

        I know, it is a lot of kids. A friend of mine has seven siblings, and another family I know have six, but we’re one of the biggest families I know.

        Um, I don’t know. I try to stay well clear of hospitals (I hate the places). First aid is my forte, but not necessarily what the paramedics or doctors would do. However, I’d say she’d probably be hungry, but not until she was fully or mostly recovered. I’ve had heat exhaustion or really bad dehydration before and you really don’t feel like eating. At all. But she would have used up a lot of energy, so as long as she was feeling normal or much better when she woke up, she probably would be quite hungry. I’m not sure exactly how much nourishment an IV would provide, but probably not enough to stop you wanting to eat 😀

        Oh, I missed your initial question. She would need a drip for fluids, since she’s severely dehydrated and they can’t give her fluids by the mouth.

        INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

        #71245
        Rochellaine
        @rochellaine
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 3322

          @seekjustice

          He’s even got his picture on a post out in Kangaroo Valley

          I’m sorry, but I’m not sure what you mean? 🙂  Are you talking about my character collage post?

          Okay that’s perfect. 😀  *adds to future editing notes*

          Yeah, she slept for about thirteen or fourteen hours besides the couple of hours at the hospital while she was unconscious.  So she’s not very tired anymore when she wakes up, and I guess she’d be hungry.

          Edit: (I just deleted the part I wrote here for privacy reasons, but you have it in your email notification, and I’m fine if you reply here if you want.  It’s just I don’t want random people commenting about it.)

          So I was thinking Chara would be feeling similar the next morning because she would’ve been too tired to eat dinner that night after she got home from the hospital.  I was just wondering if the IV would give enough nutrition that she wouldn’t be so hungry, and I guess your answer is no. 🙂

          • This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Rochellaine.

          "Sylvester - Sylvester!"

          #71246
          SeekJustice
          @seekjustice
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 3365

            @rochellaine

            I meant a sign like this one:

            My brother saw it and goes “Hey, there’s Uncle Bill!”

            Yeah, I’ve done similar things before, like I was once sick for a weeks and ate barely anything and lost a whole lot of weight, and I’ve had trouble since then if I don’t eat regularly I get unwell and usually very dizzy.

            The IV would definitely help rehydrate and keep up her sugar levels, but no, I think she’d definitely be hungry 😀

            INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

            #71248
            Rochellaine
            @rochellaine
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 3322

              @seekjustice Hahaha! 😀  Poor Uncle Bill.

              And now I’m wondering why I decided to delete that.  Maybe it’s normal after all? 😛  Well…not normal.  But yes, I do forget to eat a meal once in a while.  And when I’m sick I really don’t feel like eating at all.

              I think another problem might be that like Chara, I’m really little, so if I do lose any weight percentage wise it’s more for me than for a normal sized person, so I have to make sure I eat plenty.  I don’t usually forget anymore, thankfully.

              Okay, good.  The part I wrote for that section would have worked anyway, though.

              Say, did I ever tell you what I thought about the connection between Zac and Kendall?

              • This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Rochellaine.

              "Sylvester - Sylvester!"

              #71250
              SeekJustice
              @seekjustice
                • Rank: Chosen One
                • Total Posts: 3365

                @rochellaine

                Oh well, you’re better safe than sorry on the internet. 😀

                Cool! When are you going to put up your next part?

                My sister commented that Justice having to deal with Zac was like dealing with Kendall all over again, but no, you haven’t mentioned it. What do you think about their connection?

                 

                INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

                #71251
                J.A. Penrose
                @jess-penrose
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 377

                  @rochellaine @seekjustice Just thinking, on this conversation about hungry after not eating and things, after about 3-7 days the body adjusts to not eating and starts burning fat instead. This would leave a person lethargic and very susceptible to illness, but after their body reaches this point it doesn’t tend to feel hunger. (No clue if that is particularly helpful in this context, but hey! *shrugs*)

                  Writer | Freelance Editor
                  Inspiration&lt

                  SeekJustice
                  @seekjustice
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 3365

                    @jess-penrose

                    *tucks information away for a time that shall come* I’ve never tortured my characters by food deprivation. Could be interesting. Quillon would not cope.

                     

                    INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

                    #71253
                    Rochellaine
                    @rochellaine
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 3322

                      @seekjustice Ohh, it’s going so slowly! 🙁  I think perhaps soon, but I’m not sure yet.

                      Well, I was thinking it would be cool if sometime in Stars Justice got really frustrated with Kendall and told him something like “You’re just as bad as my cousin!” 😀  Or if he accidentally made the connection in the sequel and realizes that Zac might turn out okay like Kendall did.  Because actually, the two guys are almost identical personality wise.  They both do that exaggerated flirting which is totally cheesy, and they both are lazy and drunk quite often.  So it would almost be strange if Justice or Chessy did not connect them.


                      @jess-penrose
                      That’s interesting.  Well, in this particular part of my story Chara’s only been without food for about a day, so it doesn’t really apply yet.  But I’m definitely going to put aside that information for possible later use in this book!

                      However, what do you think the differences would be when you consider how slightly built my main character is?  I know women as a general rule have a little more body fat than men do, but she’s a girl in her late teens who’s very small and slim.  She’s not thin, but just slim like a normal teenage girl, without excess fat, so I’m wondering how much she’d actually have to burn off?

                       

                      "Sylvester - Sylvester!"

                      #71254
                      Rochellaine
                      @rochellaine
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 3322

                        @seekjustice Quillon would not cope? 😀 😀  I would think it would be Justice, since he’s more peevish when things go wrong.  I’d picture Quillon as the guy who pretends everything’s fine.  But I guess you’re right, different things affect different people different ways. (Goodness! Three uses of the word “different” one after another.  Thesaurus please?)

                        And I guess Justice has been the leader for long enough that he’d just give his food to his friends without complaining.  He seems less of a leader in the sequel, though, and more of a hurt little boy.

                        "Sylvester - Sylvester!"

                        #71255
                        J.A. Penrose
                        @jess-penrose
                          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                          • Total Posts: 377

                          @rochellaine @seekjustice
                          Glad that this may come in handy at some point, even if not right now.


                          @rochellaine
                          Hmm… I’d be willing to say yes, it would still apply to someone slim. (Note: All research on these topics has been ethical and no injuries were caused by me or were prentable by me) I purely assume this because my siblings are type one diabetics, which is the genetic sort. So, my sister had actually ended up at the point where she was 14 and weighted 31kg. She then got really sick and just didn’t eat for a few days, (partly because everything was going crazy there) and she didn’t end up feeling hungry for quite a while afterwards. That may have had something to do with insulin, but my mother has gone through a similar process.

                          But who knows really?

                          Writer | Freelance Editor
                          Inspiration&lt

                          SeekJustice
                          @seekjustice
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 3365

                            @rochellaine

                            Drat it, my reply didn’t post.

                            Basically, what I was saying was this:

                            I was going to add a section in the bits where Chessy chats to Justice’s grandfather with him mentioning his other no good grandson, and then I realised that that wouldn’t work because Zac isn’t his grandson. There are a few differences between Kendall and Zac, but yeah, I think Chessy and Justice probably would draw a comparison between them.

                            Quillon has a low tolerance of physical things. It says that in my notes, but I’d forgot it for a bit. He has a very low pain tolerance and probably would faint if he missed two meals.

                            Justice would complain, but he wouldn’t feel any physical effects  beyond normal.

                            He is a hurt little boy, really. He also isn’t in a position of leadership anymore, which I think annoys him. He’s the sort of person who could forget about himself if he had someone or something else to focus on. Besides, what else is he supposed to be when he went from Enjolras to Lucie Manette?

                            INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

                            #71257
                            Rochellaine
                            @rochellaine
                              • Rank: Chosen One
                              • Total Posts: 3322

                              @jess-penrose

                              Research on these topics has been ethical

                              Haha.  Disclaimers are always necessary, aren’t they? 😛

                              Okay, thanks.  That’s good to know.  But now I have a dilemma.  Can I convince myself that it’s really okay if one of my characters is starved, or will I be too softhearted?  That’s nearly as bad as killing them!


                              @seekjustice
                              After reading back through this conversation I realize that maybe adding the note that I deleted that section makes it sound worse to an outside reader than the original would be! 😀 Haha.  And all I was trying to do was prevent myself from a little embarrassment about nearly fainting, but now it could be interpreted to mean that I had some horrible sickness or something! 😮 😛

                              Oh well.  I may just have to give up trying to edit things from now on.  It could backfire.

                              You said you’re ready to read the next part.  Well, that’s not ready yet, but I did write that (very short) scene you requested where Chara thinks about what happened when she met Derek.  Are you willing to check that out for me?  I’m pretty uncomfortable with writing thought patterns because I’m always afraid they’ll turn out boring and losing the reader.

                              "Sylvester - Sylvester!"

                              #71258
                              SeekJustice
                              @seekjustice
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 3365

                                @rochellaine

                                Yeah, it does sound a bit shifty 😛 I’ll definitely check it out if you want me too (I love reading thoughts. I’m super into dialogue, as you’ve probably noticed, even if it’s just a character debating with themselves).

                                INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

                                #71259
                                J.A. Penrose
                                @jess-penrose
                                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                                  • Total Posts: 377

                                  @rochellaine Yes. They are necessary. I’ve had some people get very concerned with some of my random knowledge…

                                  Look, starving a character doesn’t bother me too much. I mean, it leaves you feel blegh, but compared to a lot of things it is kinda lucky. Compare starving to a lot of mental torture and you’ll probably feel better. Or, if you are in a controlled environment, you could try fasting for three days or something with just rations. See if you think something is too extreme or not. Just make sure people are aware and if it is too much you have food available to eat.

                                  Writer | Freelance Editor
                                  Inspiration&lt

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