- This topic has 5,651 replies, 56 voices, and was last updated 56 minutes ago by
.
-
Posts
-
@savannah_grace2009 Hi Sara! My name is Kylie (though most folks call me Ky, or Kyle, or Nolan, or Kyky, or Kys, or boomerang (lots of nicknames 😂😅); whatever you choose to call me, as long as its nice, I’m down for it)!
I’m doing alright. Excited. I am curating an anthology and looking for participants, so…😜😉❤️😎😄 (emojis lol)
lost but not alone
Oh I saw the post about the anthology!! I’ll definitely think about joining it!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333@savannah_grace2009 Oh you should!!! 😜
lost but not alone
@freedomwriter76
That was soo good! I didn’t cry lol, but I could feel my eyes getting hot 😂
Does it seem boring?
Nope! Almost, but I was mostly engaged.
How is the pace?
It’s good for the scene, it feels a little slow but it’s not a action scene so that’s to be expected.
Can you already begin to see the MC’s struggles/arcs?
Aw yess… I already knew the arcs beforehand, but yeah I can tell. You could actually make it a little more gradual (Perhaps it starts gradually in book 1, idk) Just y’know, give the reader a little more time to wonder? Like maybe he feels hatred when he prays, wondering why he even does it anymore, as a precurser to his anger. He kinda straight up states his own arc when he says he’ll never forgive Riker and God. I think it’s up too personal preference, but I wouldn’t reuse things like that too much. To me, it makes more sense to say “He hated God” then “he would never forgive God” because the reader can infer the unforgiveness without him literally telling the reader what they need to know about him. Kinda like show, don’t tell. It’s better to show somebody’s unforgiving actions then for them to think “I’ll never forgive them.” Just a thought 🙂
Is Leon’s love for his kids evident?
Oh yes of course!
What can you gather about Leon/Riker from this 1st chapter?
Well I already know the characters, so nothing new. Leon comes off as older and having more responsibility though, and Riker seems pretty confused. Man, we might have to call in the protection squad soon!
Least Favorite Part of the Chapter?
Hmm… I didn’t know Riker was in a dream (I should have caught on with the italics), and got confused when it was revealed. I suppose if I had read book 1, I would know that those events had already occured and could not be happening again.
Also, here:
A quick breeze blew by, and his eyes shot open. Cold metal danced before his eyes, and a loaded barrel made his mind focus.
I got confused for a second with him seeing the loaded barrel, I didn’t know who was holding it and had to figure out whether in the dream Riker was the one who killed Fin. (Which tbh would be interesting, since he feels guilty, maybe in his dream he’s the one who did it) but I thought maybe he shot, then opened his eyes on his own gun. Idk, it was a little unclear who shot for me.
Favorite part of the chapter?
Hmmm…
Angsty Riker
へびは かっこいい です！
Sorry I haven’t gotten to this yet! I’ll try my best to get a reply later today. (:
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
It was super interesting! I love family dynamics like this! I didn’t really have any critiques, but please tag me if you post more!
There is always light behind the clouds.
- Little Women, Louisa May Alcott@everyone
Guys I need serious help…I’m kind of lost.
My writing is falling apart and I don’t even know if it’s a good plot anymore, and I’m just so stressed about it and don’t know what to do!!
AHHHHH why is writing so hard!!???!?!??!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333“I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.”
“What are we holding on to, Sam?”
“That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.”
But also… 😁 I don’t know about your plot, but if it is worth telling, it’s worth telling to the glory of God. (Or maybe God is showing you how to rewrite the plot to bless people.)
Some writers take a break from their writing project and jump on a new storyline only to come back later and hop back on their old project and after time, it’s tons better. Heehee, I think of C.S. Lewis who has a drawer at his desk where little scraps of stories would be taken out of his mind and tucked inside. Then he would revisit them later. When I first heard of that I was like, What? But that’d take so long to give my stuff time to sit!!!! But, even overnight, things stood out like never before.
I have been wanting to just sit down and write the next chapter of my story, but I can’t find the way I want to tell it. I know what needs to happen, but making it fit my story world in a sensible way is where I’m stuck, so tidbit by tidbit I’m getting there…soon. (Soon=the most indefinite word)
Take a little rest from it and enjoy your family for Christmas. Maybe you’ll have inspiration there and your story will resolve into a masterpiece.
Don’t give up, Sara!!!
Merry Christmas everyone!!
Yeah, I’ve decided to take a break and totally just go crazy on a new plot for a different story! I think somehow I made writing not fun by stressing so much about it….so now I’m just trying to have fun and go CRAZY and just get words on the page!
Thank you so much for encouraging me!! <333
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Did you ever get anything else written for the story you started about your summer? Or was that one of those ideas that just sort of fazed off?
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
Sorry, I didn’t see this
AHHHHH why is writing so hard!!???!?!??!
Because if it wasn’t, writer’s wouldn’t be the most persistent and stubborn people on the planet!
i feel you. I’m trying to pull together the first draft scraps of my book…while refining my awful style. So. Much. Fun.
I think the things that keep me writing are my characters (if I gave up, they would forever torment me, XD) and the thought that kept me going after my dream with horses…
God never burdens your heart without a reason.
That is one thing I never doubt. If God is total Sovereign of the Universe, that means that He put a dream in your heart for a reason. If you chase your dreams, while following God, I have no doubt that one day you will publish your book.
The dark tunnel is long and hard, but there’s light at the end, and if you go through the hardships to get to that the light, the sweeter it will be to finally step out into.
The other thing I can say is step back and take a break for a month. I stopped writing my WIP for one month, writing things like short snippets of my other charries from other books. I didn’t write anything related to it but descriptions for people on here, rp’s with my charries, and a short snippet from when my MC is way older. When I opened up my Word Doc again, I read through parts of what i had already written and decided that I needed a revisioning. Yeah, I had to start over. Yeah, i still doubt my writing. But I feel like it’s one step closer to the final end of the tunnel.
Start Young, and Stick With it. -YWW
I kind of gave up on that….XD
I liked the first chapter, but wasn’t sure where to go from there. I’m working on another idea I’ve had since seventh grade. It’s going to be a sci-fi/thriller/realistic fiction book….I might post some snippets from time to time!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Okay, I’m posting a snippet just for funzies…haha!
This would be the first chapter. I know it’s not that good, I’m just writing to write because I need to make writing fun again and less of a stressful thing XD
I bury my face in Bear’s fur and concentrate on the slow, steady rhythm of his breaths, my tears drenching his soft coat.
He whimpers as I squeeze him to my chest a little harder than I meant to.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, scratching him lightly behind his ear.
I’m laying on the floor of my bedroom, Bear next to me, his large head in my lap. I’m still wearing my black funeral dress, still holding the flowers from the ceremony, and it still feels so surreal.
How could my parents be dead?
Today was the day that we were all supposed to go to the beach. I glance at my calendar, today still circled red.
I had circled it red for important. Never had I dreamed that important would mean attending my parents’ funeral.
It isn’t fair.
But then, when has life ever been fair?
I should have seen this coming.
I should have hugged my parents goodbye when they left.
I shouldn’t have let them leave without saying goodbye.
What was the last thing I said to them?
I remember I was mad when they left.
Oh God. What if they died thinking I was some prodigal daughter who didn’t love them?
Last Thursday was supposed to be a normal day. I was supposed to come home from school, work on homework, and scroll TikTok for hours on end.
Getting called to the principal’s office to be picked up by Gramma Rachel because my parents had just been killed in a plane crash was not in my plans for that day.
Neither was attending their funeral ten days later.
Even while I watched their caskets being lowered into the ground, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was all some sort of dumb joke. I kept waiting for Dad to tap me on the shoulder and say, Surprise! I got you! and proceed to laugh hysterically.
But the casket kept lowering.
And Dad didn’t show up to crash his own funeral like we always joked he would.
The four of us stood around the coffin, Nolan, Audrey, Mason, and I.
I was the only one not crying, and I felt like that was a crime.
What kind of horrible daughter doesn’t cry at their parents’ funeral?
Me.
At least, until Audrey started screaming.
As the remains of our parents disappeared from view, and Nolan tossed the first clod of dirt onto the coffin, Audrey looked down into that dark hole and screamed.
I guess it finally hit her that we were orphans.
She looked at me, her blue eyes glistening with tears, her chest heaving with every hysterical sob.
“Rylee,” she whispered, clinging to my arm, “can we go home now?”
I took one look at her, and I couldn’t do it anymore.
I was bawling like a baby.
Nolan had to grab both of us hysterical girls and drag us to the car, because we were crying too hard to move.
The next days were horrible.
But on the bright side, we had casseroles! Endless mountains of lasagnas, taco casseroles, enchiladas, meatballs. I know all the neighbors were trying to be nice, but it seemed like it was all a mockery. Like, oh sorry, you’re orphans now, but look on the bright side, at least you’re not going to starve! At least you get lasagna! What do they expect? Me to look them in the eyes and say, oh, thank you so much, I feel so much better now! Lasagna really lifts my spirits!
Um, no.
Everyone knows that chocolate is the only food capable of performing such a feat.
My phone vibrates in my hand, and I wipe away a tear.
It’s Lydia. I’m coming over. Armed with your favorite chocolate and tissues.
I smile.
Not that chocolate’s going to fix all my problems, but chocolate is better than casserole. So much better. Why don’t those old ladies take a hint?
In fifteen minutes, Lyds barges into my room and drops an avalanche of tissues, cartons of ice cream, and chocolate at her feet.
She sits down beside me.
“How are you doing?”
“Great,” I grimace, rummaging through the grocery bags she brought. “Ooh, moose tracks!” I yank out the carton and search for a spoon. I feel guilty for getting excited about ice cream and not crying over my parents like Audrey and Mason and Nolan are probably doing, but I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of missing the smell of Mom’s shampoo, tired of feeling Dad’s strong arms around me. I’m tired of feeling.
“Okay, that was a dumb question,” Lyds pulls me into a hug. “Sorry.”
I pop the lid off the carton, and Bear licks the freezer burnt ice cream off the lid before I can stop him. Lydia strokes his fur.
“I don’t want to talk about how I’m doing,” I snatch a plastic spoon from the bag and stuff my face full of ice cream. “I just want to sit here and pet Bear and eat ice cream and forget about all this crap.”
“I can do that,” Lyds nods.
Why does she have to be so nice? I feel the tears coming, but I can do nothing to stop them.
“I can’t do it anymore,” I say, tears falling faster than I can grab the box of tissues. Lyds snatches it for me and grabs a whole bunch. I wad them up and press them against my swollen eyes. “I can’t forget…the memories, they’re all there.”
“Oh, Ry,” Lyds’s voice breaks, and she hugs me all the more fiercely. I hug her back, smelling her Ariana Grande perfume that I want but can’t afford.
We sit there for a long time, holding each other, not saying a word. Bear snuggles closer, now draped across both our laps.
“He’s so good at comforting people,” Lydia buries her hands in his thick fur.
“I know,” I hug him. “Oh, Bear, what would I do without you?” He raises his head and showers me with doggie kisses. I’m too depressed to pucker up my face in revulsion.
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333Thank you so much for encouraging me! <333
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333I almost cried.
I didn’t let myself, because I’m sitting in the same room as the rest of my family right now, but I probably would’ve shed some tears if I was alone.
It drew me in really well, and I usually don’t like books that are super sad, but sometimes pain and tragedy make the good parts of the book even better. Now if the book would end on a worse note, I’d be a little mad, but as long as it ends well….
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
