Rosey Mucklestone

Looks good for the most part. I’d maybe start a new paragraph when a text starts? Not sure, it just might make it stand out more.

Definitely a good problem. 😉
Well, if there’s nothing bad, what were your favorite parts or what made you laugh?

That is what’s ever so nice about this sort of character. 😛 They take so much and still stay cheerful and forgiving. 🙂
It’s almost humorous when Cobalt’s hurt because he just won’t admit that he needs to take it easy for a bit. He’s just “No really, I’m fine!” and keeps going until he passes out or something. XP

Thanks, @kate-flournoy! 🙂 I love hearing when my stuff has made people laugh.
Yeah, I noticed that was a bit of a problem, too. I’ll see if I can fix it up on that point. I already fixed what my mom noticed. I didn’t mention the fog soon enough before and it was sort of a “and then… fog!” effect. XD

Ah, I see. 😛 I would never want you to kill Denholm. Cobalt’s rather banged up at the moment as well, though. XD

Only when I am extremely nervous or in a very stressful situation do I talk out loud in second person.
The occasional first person comment on a ridiculous situation is more common for me. Sarcastic first person.

I haven’t done Kindle specifically, but I’ve done the general ebook formatting. The chapter break stuff is a pain. But it’s pretty much the only one, so that’s good. I didn’t have the word doc headings in properly so it took me a while to fix, but if you have that going it should be alright.
@kate-flournoy, we aren’t exactly a huge public. Still,…[Read more]

Glad we could help. 🙂

But wait, plot twist here, what if the drink was important? How would that alter the story?

I really liked the drink description, personally. You did a really good job there. But I would repeat Daeus’s question: Is it important? I got the impression it was poisoned or something. (Not sure if that’s just a hunch, but it seems like the drink is important)

@mas410
XD Thanks, I’m glad you enjoy it! 😛

@mas401
XD Thanks, I’m glad you enjoy it! 😛

Whoops, I was meaning to put up the video. Anyway, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F9jXYOH2c0

Glad you guys like it. 🙂

Welcome to the Kingdom Pen kingdom, MK! Always great to have someone else to bounce stuff off of. 🙂
Glad we are so interesting to stalk. 😛
Gosh, I had no idea how prominent Ohio natives were on here. Well, I know I shall have quite a bit of fun if I ever visit the state. Though it is a long way from my personal soggy swamp of a homeland.
I…[Read more]

I really like this, Kate! Really cements the like of Denholm I already had. 😉
One line that stood out to me and I’ll comment on now before a more in-depth read over. “Monotony becomes monotonous.” It’s funny and made me smirk while reading over it, but I think maybe with some rewording or additions it could be funnier if you want it to be.
It…[Read more]

That’s awesome, Hope! 🙂

The best simple thing to avoid mushy-ness is to make it just a really good friendship. They share jokes and tease each other and just generally act like best friends. If they’re in love, great. Just a step above friendship works great for romance in my opinion. 🙂

Say someone is searching for something on a particular topic. They search “humor”, but the topic’s name is “Comedy”. You could add “humor” into the tags to assist with searches to the topic can be more easily found.

That is actually using logical fallacies to your advantage. What you did was switch the supposed meaning of the word “it”. Plenty of potential in writing that kind of humor. Like blatant red herrings or bandwagon… cheap appeal to false authority… stuff like that. 😉
Red herring example:
“Did you just hit that man over the head with a baseball…[Read more]