whaley

@rae

There’s wordy like beautifully elaborate writing…and then there’s “Oh, the plot is going well, it’s time for AN ENTIRE  SECTION ABOUT WATERLOO THAT IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO THE PLOT WHATSOEVER.” *glares at Victor Hugo*

@grcr

Yeah, I like 1st person past, but first person present takes me about three chapters to get into without being annoyed.

@savannah_grace2009

No one’s hired me yet. 🙁  Today I sent in an actual application to Kroger instead of just the employment interest form, since it looks like they’re hiring again, and also an application to a Biggby coffee. Hopefully I’ll have a job soon.

@elishavet-pidyon

Older love triangles actually have depth, but modern love triangles are just like Shadow mentioned: bland plain-but-actually-not heroine, childhood best friend, and new hot guy. Ugh.

Evangelistic dating is dating/becoming romantically attached to a lost person with the hope that the relationship will lead them to God. Obviously,…

[Read more]

@theduckator

oops

I totally disappeared again lol

sorry hahaha

Omc that’s awesome! but sad because you won’t get as much free time :/

Making money is AWESOME lolll

@ellette-giselle

Sounds good!

Oh, gotcha, thanks.

@hybridlore

Thanks! I’m glad.

Okay, I’ll see what the others think. I liked it as a nice recap of everything that was happening.

Erich is one of the Stien children. He’s married and has a kid. They were the family that Julian, Roland, and Aelic were staying with when Rolf and Leon caught up with them.

@ellette-giselle

I have hope that you won’t kill off all the characters… but am expecting at least one of the MCs to die. 😭😫

@ellette-giselle

Great first section! You did a good job of establishing the stakes and the characters’ situations. One thought I had (for you to consider) is possibly to remove the first journal entry and start off the book with Leon. It might be a stronger beginning… but it works great with the journal entry there too.

Remind me again, who is…[Read more]

@hybridlore    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @liberty  @linus-smallprint

FIRST SECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Dawn Will Come
Draft 4
 
My soul waits for the Lord
    more than watchmen for the dawn,
    more than watchmen for the dawn.
   …

[Read more]

@elishavet-pidyon

Oooooo!!! I like your thoughts!!! Yes, I do have a weakness for armor. Go Lieutenant Roth and his guys! (though one does start to wonder what’s going to happen when those soldiers came in contact with orders to hunt down the believers……)

You’re planning a plot twist for the series as a whole.

Interesting…..

There are s…

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@koshka

YES!! I am 100% in agreement with that! Those are the kinds of scenes that I love.

@ellette-giselle

Oof, yeah no. I plum don’t like Victor Hugo’s writing, so I’m with you on that.

I don’t particularly enjoy heaven scenes either, but when an author takes a moment to show that God is actually with us down here, like when Aaron knew Jesus was so close and when the Maker talks to Janner at the Fane of Fire and felt the love of the…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Then again, I have had a pretty good track record for the last two books. No MCs died! Yay!

@hybridlore

Ah, so you like the MCs. Both of them.

Poor you.

😂

@ellette-giselle

Oh, haha. XD. Yeah, I think we talked about it briefly right when you were first starting it.

Leon and Julian, from the last book. (Plus Albee and Ian, but I don’t think they’re coming back . . . unless they do. That would be cool.) I have a lot of other favorites, but they’re not in the Empire, so I doubt they’ll have much of a…[Read more]

@theshadow

The main character is incredibly bland, but also the most unique person in the universe. Typically I’ve noticed female protagonists are like this, and they’re usually super insecure about their looks but are actually pretty. Additionally, the protagonist has some special ability that makes them stand out and is caught up in a love tri…

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@hybridlore

Oh! I forgot I told KP people about it. 😂

Zombie computer! I beg pardon. His name is Smaug and he’s a dragon.

😂

aha. I see.

well, you should be scared for them. Especially your favorites.

(who are your favorites again?)

@ellette-giselle

6)Prepare for major fallout to begin from the Prince dying in the last book.
*nods happily*

2)Nearly everyone we love will get hurt.
why would you ever think that?! 😢

🤣

Mostly this.

@ellette-giselle

Oh, cool! You told me a vague idea of what the story was about . . . and I’ve read a scene or two that you posted on here. It got eaten by your zombie computer, right? I guess you were able to finish it?

Oh, just reading other people’s guesses and your responses to them. Plus your trigger warning at the beginning (I already knew…[Read more]

@koshka

Ah, I see.

Okay yes, that makes sense. I tend not to write heaven scenes. (I always cringe for that scene in Les Misserables) I don’t know why, but I like to keep clear. Hmm, interesting with the Aaron comment. I’m interested what makes you think that.

I don’t mind Screwtape or Warden and the Wolf King, I like how both of those were…[Read more]