[TheShadow]

@power

What is being donated again?

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@power

I wish it was Gandalf… anyway, thank you. How have you been Power?

Um, I don’t really know what The Shadow is a shadow of. Maybe my former self XD.

Does it smell in here? I hadn’t noticed.

@loopylin

Hi, thanks for the welcome, it’s nice to see you too. I’ve been okay, how about you? How’s art going?

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

Praying for all of you!

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@whalekeeper

And if you don’t enjoy rock, that’s fine. Sometimes certain genres bothers a person and they don’t know why. It’s just a fact of their life. Many country songs rub me off the wrong way, and I don’t know why. ?‍♀️

Very true.

Oh, I meant the band’s statue thing or whatever that was relating to the song you mentioned. Sorry, should’ve clarified.

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@whalekeeper

You have synesthesia? That’s so cool! Thanks for your response, I think that’s great that the song leaves that kind of impact on you.

You might have to explain what that thing is though XD.

@theducktator

Thanks for your thoughts. Your most likely right about the self righteous point from which the authors were writing. They did label people who listened to rock and all of its connected genres as depraved and whatnot, which is totally untrue. Still, their concern is not completely wrong, since there is a LOT of evil in the music industry in all genres, particularly pop and rock. (Side note, you are also correct in that the quality of music has significantly dropped).

@esther-c

Thank you for the citation!

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@ellette-giselle

Thanks for letting me know lol.

@elishavet-pidyon

Ah, another classical music lover! (The lack of classical fans is alarming). I love classical, and somehow enjoy rock as well XD. Thank you, Paul’s passage is very applicable here.

You mentioning rock and rebellion reminded me of one boy who, before converting, loved heavy metal, and while attending a concert, things were getting out of hand and the music was so disorienting and chaotic that the boy remembered thinking “Things can’t get much worse.”
Rock is definitely a very powerful and at times dangerous genre, and in my opinion can be a great source for darkness. For example, once someone I knew was blasting a song about a person going to hell and the horrors they’ll face there, and it wasn’t in the context of Christianity at all, and the instrumental was of course very dark and almost demonic sounding. In a different song, though, a Christian one, the electric guitar did not sound dark at all. So now that I’ve rambled I’m going to discern, so thanks again lol.

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@hybridlore

Thank you for the concern, it’s so kind of you! Your right on the money, I have noticed I’ve become a bit obsessive/overly scrupulous about things recently, so as you mentioned I will look into OCD.

@linus-smallprint

Huh, that’s interesting about the instruments. I’m not still completely sure why I felt uncomfortable listening to the music, as the lyrics were clearly glorifying God and the band had a sound base. Mainly I think I had a mingled sense of happiness at having found the band and also thinking of how awesome Christianity is. Thank you for the advice.

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@esther-c

Hey, I finished your book, and it was really good! I loved the part where Hallie stands up to Katrina and is able to talk to Patrick, I’m glad Patrick turned out to be a generally good, if a little misled, guy. The ending campfire scene where it reflects the beginning is good too, I like how it goes back to the beginning but you can see the change in characters.

With feedback, I second Sara’s critique. I couldn’t really remember the siblings, so having moments where Hallie and Easton interact with them would help (they don’t even have to be that big). For example, you could have a moment where they’re doing random, weird siblings stuff (as siblings do).
The scene where Hallie makes up with Jennifer was good, it definitely showed a lot about their friendship. However, I think Jennifer forgave her a bit too fast considering she was angry enough to confront Hallie and not talk to her for a couple weeks.

Lastly, in the scenes where Hallie and Easton are pouring out their hearts to God, I would go into their thoughts, and let them be raw. It’ll help the readers to really see their change of heart and the true repentance they have. I think if you show their thoughts throughout the whole story with their struggle and be completely raw, your characters will feel even more human (not saying they didn’t feel human, they were incredibly realistic and you did a good job with that. Just showing thoughts more would help the audience connect even more).

Easton and Autumn are cute together, they would totally get married in the future.

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@kydonandwillow

I feel like I’m just getting the hang of things and now it’s ending!

So relatable lol, and it goes by too quick.

I would love that. I am going to start editing it soon, but I’ve been so busy.

Cool, I’ll check it out soon.

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@kydonandwillow

Hello, I’m Shadow, nice to meet you, welcome back to KP! Congrats on finishing your first draft! How has high school been?
If you want, I’d be happy to look at your new draft.

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@esther-c

You’re welcome, and now that I’ve finished this next section here’s a few things. This was really strong, it’s great you’re making Easton and Hallie struggle with the fact that Tyler’s dead and not making them coming to terms with it instantaneous. It’s realistic, and you’re doing a good job at it. I think you could maybe delve into the despair a bit more, but other than that everything is good.
Poor Hallie, and that twist with Katrina was cool (she seriously reminds me of one of my characters XD). The scene at the end with Ruby and Easton was really sweet.

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@jonas

Got it, thanks!

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@hybridlore

Thank you, and thanks for letting me know!

@ellette-giselle

Some stuff happened, so I’ll probably be posting the first chapter later today.

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@keilah-h

Lol, if he has them XD

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[TheShadow]

@jonas

I’ll check it out (thanks @hybridlore for tagging).

"And she realized that Gnag the Nameless' best efforts to blacken the world would only serve to sc

[Author]

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