Brianne

@hybridlore

I can’t really think of anything right now, but I’ll definitely think it over and get back to you on it!

@mineralizedwritings

I think Katrin needs a goal. even if it isn’t the typical dystopian goal about overtoppleing the government. She can also pursue one goal, then realize she has to reach even higher if you really want to push the climax. Maybe that’s when she gets a little help from side characters, or remembers the things she has learned ove…

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@rae

Sounds good!! I love your style, btw. It’s fresh and unique. 😊

@savannah_grace2009

I don’t think it’s too clunky. There may be a few places where it could be made a little smoother, but I’m not sure how to fix that. 😅 If this is just your first or second draft, then I think it’s definitely fine how it is. 🙂

@thearcaneaxiom

I agree with Min and Jonas on everything they said. Resolve of the character will balance the unresolved political structure.However there’s still a lot of things you could do to end it differently. For one thing, most dystopias almost never talk about what happens after they take down the government. They need to reestablish e…

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@grcr

Thank you!

Also, @savannah_grace2009 I was gonna ask, how does she know that Lilitu dreamed exactly what happened to her before he even describes what happens?

@savannah_grace2009

I didn’t really notice it seeming clunky! I like the part where she’s thinking back to playing pretend with her friends, it’s so sweet.

Personally, for the flashback part, I think I would leave it out and give more of like a summary, sort of like:

She knew that this was no ordinary dream. And not just because of his reaction.…

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@freedomwriter76

Nice!

@savannah_grace2009

Yep! Here’s one I made for my WIP a while ago! Hopefully this doesn’t post twice, lol.

@rae @hybridlore @mineralizedwritings @esther-c

I’ve been working on this chapter this morning…and it feels a little clunky to me. Do you guys have any input that you think would make it run smoother?

Chapter 14

The air was pleasantly cold, nipping the tip of Sef’s nose as she walked in step with Lilitu. The sound of leaves crunching b…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Do you have any moodboards?

@janellebelovedpig

Never mind I just checked and I wrote 586 words…NOT a thousand… (same thing, right? XD)

@janellebelovedpig

That’s great that you finished it!

I wrote about a thousand words during mine.

@hybridlore

Sequel. It’s called The Two Emperors

So there’s Guardian Angels, then Sovereignty in the Galaxy: The Troublemakers, then Sovereignty in the Galaxy: The Two Emperors, then The Returns, then Alpha Slit, and that’s as far as I’ve got with sci-fi.

@janellebelovedpig

Hey!

I’ll join, starting at :10, ending at :40 with you.

I have a hard time with getting distracted, but I’ll try my best to stay on task, lol!

@aranel

No problem, I love explaining my story to people! (And I have been wanting to read Dune for months now, is it any good?)

I can recommend the first book to anyone with the time, but it really depends on what you want after that. The first book is much more of a hero’s journey with clear good and evil, but after that, the books become…[Read more]

@hybridlore

I agree with Min and Jonas on everything they said. Resolve of the character will balance the unresolved political structure. However there’s still a lot of things you could do to end it differently. For one thing, most dystopias almost never talk about what happens after they take down the government. They need to reestablish…[Read more]

@jonas

Sort of, lol. It’s usually hard for me to think of things my characters hate, unless it’s like really obvious lol.

@jonas

Right, so like the first impression they give others. That would be interesting. I think I’d prefer just to write a paragraph from the point of view of someone else, and see how the main character looks from their eyes.

Okay, yeah. That could definitely come in handy for some characters. For me, it’s kind of hard to think of things like…[Read more]

@rae

Wait is that from a prequel/sequel? Nice!