Pen_for_Christ205

@theloonyone

That was really interesting! One of the thing I really liked Elissa. She plays such a important role in giving the story hope. I would add some more description to the outside, it says it is wintry, but is it foggy? Icy? Is his breath making clouds it is so cold?

Thanks for sharing! I made comments on the google doc, and was going…[Read more]

@theloonyone

Just some ideas about what could possibly drive him, of course you know your story better than I do, so don’t feel obligated to use any.

Maybe think about why he likes the simulation so much- obviously it is better than his usual life, but is there a emotion/experience he is seeking through using it? He is going on a date, so it…[Read more]

@theloonyone

And add a lot of chapters in the middle cause they are not giving me enough for my precious character growth!

Good idea!

 I actually haven’t started writing her yet but she is literally later in the chapter I’m writing now so, I’ve got to figure it out. Ugh, personality. Also pretty underdeveloped. 😑💀 Why is writing so hard! I’ve b…

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 A lot of it will actually take place in the outside world, more and more as Milo uses the simulation less. But outside outside not as much. The simulation was made by the company Milo works at and there are some things that go into its history, but not much as of now.

Ok! That makes sense.

Your WIP sounds really cool, too!

Thanks! 😀

 If you w…

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@theloonyone

I like how you get into the action right away. I might point something out that’s completely irrelevant for the fact it’s just one chapter (not much you can include).

I like how the descriptions of Cammie help you understand what Milo is feeling. You don’t just get a outside description (hair color and whatnot) but instead how she…[Read more]

@theloonyone

Ok! I’m excited to see it! 🙂

Glad to hear it’s not that creepy! I know writing dystopian can be hard, (My current WIP is dystopian) But I think it has so many good theme potentials. Going through hardship grows us and our characters 🙂

@theloonyone

Sounds like that novel class really helps with writers block lol.

I like Adler and Bancroft. I haven’t completely finished creating her character (I thought of her while writing the chapter before the one she first appears in) so I might have to consider how race might be a part of her last name too.

Hope you find one that works! T…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy

AHH thank u so much for ur compliments!!!!!

Yeah!!

(I HAVE A CUP WITH HIS FACE ON IT 😍🤩 XD XD XD)

LOL I would hardly have to confidence to buy something like that and explain it to my parents. I put off buying a manga volume I wanted for soooo long because the cover was PURE CRINGE but I wanted it sooo bad because it had one of…[Read more]

@theloonyone

I’d love to read some of your work and make suggestions (story related, not grammar stuffs)!!

However don’t consider me an editor… I stay pretty busy with school and other stuff. I can pop in with some feedback every now and then though! I’m pretty cautious about what I read (I remember you saying your WIP started being based of a…[Read more]

@theloonyone

A couple last name suggestions for Elissa:

Cromwell, McKay, Adler, Finnegan, Underwood, Halifax, Bancroft

Don’t feel obligated to use any, as you can see I kinda like unique names 😂 and they very well might not fit your story.

@mineralizedwriting

AHH thank u so much for ur compliments!!!!!

I was also a bit concerned with how obsessed over Keefe I was

but I was also having waaay to much fun sooooo yea.

(I HAVE A CUP WITH HIS FACE ON IT 😍🤩 XD XD XD)

thx!!! I luv the name November!! I found it while searching names and was just like GASP. Cute, save…[Read more]

@theloonyone

Yeah KP is being weird for me too lol

Love it! I’m so curious how the dynamic’s play out, and I love your names too! That’s great you can work on your book in chapters… LOL I have zero clue how to start XD

I have a sketchbook with a sheet for each character and possible plot points, and a couple word files for when I come up with…[Read more]

@Koshka

Yep. It’s been happening a lot to me since I started writing. My mom’s like “You’re really quite”

And I’m just sat in the back of the car planning out the emotional falling action for book 2 in my head…

And she asks why i’m pacing. I think I figured walking while doing nothing looks more normal than sitting at the table staring and…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12

but I was just like “I just LOVE IT XD” (I started and binged the series this year. Can’t wait till the ninth book this November!!!!!!)

That’s great! It feels awesome to find that series you just can’t put down!

I already mentioned that just reading in general Kinda inspires me, just especially series that I love and adore where…

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OH and I loooved the worldbuilding. It could be hard to follow definitely at times, but all the naaaames I was just like HOOW XD

@mineralizedwritings

sooooooo I never got back to ur question on how Keeper Of the Lost Cities inspired me XD XD XD

and honestly it was cuz I didn’t really know the answer tbh….which is kinda crazy….

but I was just like “I just LOVE IT XD” (I started and binged the series this year. Can’t wait till the ninth book this November!!!…[Read more]

@godlyfantasy12

We have a children’s thing at our church tonight, so I’m helping set up. I will have my phone close though, so I may be able to RP. =)

@koshka @elishavet-pidyon @freedomeriter76 @keilah-h
Grimm
Paxton’s eyes grew wide at Vulkasin’s sudden outburst, he ducked, burying his head a bit. Vulkasin winced as his brother sent him a glare.

Paxton peeked out, “Why…Why d-did s-someone h-hurt you…?” He whispered.

Grimm walked up, “Pax…he may not…want to discuss it. You understand.”

Pax…[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @koshka @elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h anyone here?

@freedomwriter76

Ahhh!!! I didn’t see any of those three scenes. The brothers’ scene is just…

And then Leon and his family! And Riker!

I already despised Hans, so I can’t say much more about him. Ugh.