Liberty

@elishavet-pidyon

Lol. Leon is more experienced than Julian. J will level out, he’s just excited and nervous and high strung and…. you get the point.

@linus-smallprint

AWWW!!! Adorable!!! So sweet!

And it feels like I’m going in circles. XD

If “you’re unloveable” is a side of her ‘shard of glass’, then maybe “your hopeless,” “you’re alone,” “your too far gone,” etc.

@savannah_grace2009

Wow. That’s dark. Pretty good story-wise, though. I’ll just go on a rabbit trail of plotting and hope it gives ideas. XD

I liked how you had Neveah try to combat the lie, and it’s obvious it’s for Sef’s sake, not her own. To make this sequence really work, maybe make Sef think her Mani is just trying to save herself – it’s…[Read more]

Ok! I read it. It’s good. They seem very inexperienced/in over their heads, but they’re handling it with humor so it’s funny. XD

Although the wolves were scary. O.O XD

@elishavet-pidyon

WHY would ANYONE in his right mind Say That?

It’s Julian who needs this speech. Go ask him.

He’s a little hot headed, he’s a firebrand, and he’s desperately excited to share the truth with his people.

 

Anyway, you probably do all that in this book, and I am really enjoying reading this. So far cultures are fascinating and the…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ok. I am in the middle of section 2. I’ll go back and finish it. I’m just so… amazed.

WHY would ANYONE in his right mind Say That? XD I’m sorry, it’s just something I remember from a visiting missionary. You rarely if ever start off saying “the gods are false.” Telling people everything they believe is a lie will typically…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

I like Rasins. Good for Leon and Julian not rejecting them.

why would anyone reject raisins!!??

Hmm. They’ve been away for about ten years, so things are going to feel very different to them. I can try to add a coming home feel.

Yes, they’ve had a wild day, and it’s just getting started.

Interesting. Both the…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Ooo, lies. XD if I remember right, they want to start with little lies (because they’re more believable) and then work toward bigger lies with more power. So here are some ideas for chains of lies.

“You should be able to be strong enough on your own” (so when you falter, “you must be a failure” can follow)

“If God loved you,…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

did you see the newest sections?

@savannah_grace2009

Can it be any lies or does it have to be something that has to do specifically with Pythonos? I’m not familiar enough with your stories to help if they have to be specific, but I might be able to give a few suggestions otherwise.

@linus-smallprint

Haha, That sounds like a funny strip.

Hmm, well you would be correct. Maybe. I like some long games, like Everdale, and I love Chess, but other then that I’m not much of a board game person. I like to play them once, (maybe twice) but after that it feels repetitive. *shrug*

I like card games tho. XD

The only time a…

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@savannah_grace2009

I haven’t started it yet, but I will have read all of it by the end of February. Once I read it all, I’ll give you my overall impression and thoughts! :))

@savannah_grace2009

Thank you.

It was someone I didn’t know, but there’s still a lot of craziness. We’re leaving for Idaho on Saturday, so you can guess it’s a little hectic.  😉

@savannah_grace2009

We had a death in the family and I’m super busy, but I’ll see what I can do.

@liberty

yeah. They’re tall. Just not tall as Ardentans.

@liberty

Awesome.

Make sense about the height thing?

@hybridlore

Good, I’m glad Leon’s back story felt natural.

Yes, it is going to be a little harder. Julian may want to curb his eagerness…..

@liberty

So, Ardentans are very tall. (Averaging on the higher end of six feet for men, and the lower end of six feet for women)

The people of the Empire are more average, perhaps a little on the shorter side. Leon and Julian are considered tall in their country, but they are only about the height of average Ardentan women.

Lol. I just always…[Read more]