Liberty

*steals Joseph and Eric from Ellette*

Wow. loyalties changed.

So I’m free to kill Asher, Julian, and Sabina?

@ellette-giselle Looks good!

@hybridlore   @linus-smallprint    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @grcr

NEXT SECTION

The next morning when Joseph woke, he lay in bed a moment, trying to remember what had happened the day before. All at once it came back to him and he scrambled to his feet. Yanking on his vest he hurried into the hall and knocked on Asher and E…

[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium

love it!!!

I was wondering where you got your new profile pic.

@linus-smallprint

Thanks so much for the feedback! I’m feeling pretty confidant with this new switch, so you can delete the old version. lol.

What’s with suddenly swapping the governor in this new version?

well, a few reasons.

1. Flows better with the idea that they just opened the gates after 7 years.

2. Why else would Asher and Eric have s…[Read more]

@grcr

I love that!! I love how you can see so much personality in each person! <33

@loopylin

So cuteee! Yesss, she needs to become a new character!!

@highscribeofaetherium

That looks soo good!!!

@elishavet-pidyon

The humor in that chapter is so good. lol.

@ellette-giselle

I was wondering if that was the inspiration. Rhoda is one of my favorite Bible characters. XD

@elishavet-pidyon

Good, good. I’m glad this is better.

Yesterday we reached Acts 12 in a sermon series at our church, and I almost started laughing because it was pretty perfect. So yeah, that’s where I got my inspiration.

@ellette-giselle

Hmm.

…

I like it. 😄 I’m still suspicious about all this new governor has in mind, which is good in a literary sense. The events make sense even as they toss the next bit into suspense. This version is less intense than the previous one, but I liked having a period of quiet worry about what would happen suddenly change to…[Read more]

@raxforge

The ship.

The way you interact with one another would be very awkward if you weren’t.

Just saying.

@ellette-giselle

Hey, he can’t hear me. 🤭

Okay, cool. Looking forward to the next section!

@hybridlore

Asher would not appreciate you bringing that up again. lol.

No, not much to rewrite. Just a little.

@ellette-giselle

Gotcha. Yeah, no problem. He did faint, so there obviously was enough blood lost for that. You’re good! So, does this mean you’ll have to rewrite a lot of what you already have, or not much since you’re about to have Joseph leave?

@hybridlore

Okay, I see what you mean. Eric was just teasing when he was being formal.

I’m envisioning a much larger cut. As I said, a “gash”And actually, depending on where the cut is, you can bleed out.Maybe not from something like that, though. That might be overdoing it. This is my first draft of this section. 😉

@ellette-giselle

Overall, it was pretty good. Some of the dialogue towards the end felt a tiny bit clunky, though.

Very well,”” Eric sighed. “I shall bare the displays of emotion for tonight, but by tomorrow hugs will be limited to once a month.”

This is funny, but it sounds old-fashioned all of a sudden. Is Eric just teasing? Does he lapse i…[Read more]

@hybridlore

So, now that I’m going with this version, do you have any overall thoughts about the section?

@rae @raxforge I was kind of shipping you guys in my head already, but I didn’t want to say anything in case it was completely wrong. That’s cute though. 🥲💕

@hybridlore

Okay, that’s reasonable.

You win.

@ellette-giselle

1. It gives the reader more hope in a happy ending.

2. It’s more interesting because you play on the past events of the book to make readers think Asher and Eric will die, but then defy the stereotype, keeping them on their toes.

3. It saves Asher and Eric. 🤗