Liberty

@godlyfantasy12

Awesome! You already have more words down that I get in several hours of writing.

@godlyfantasy12 I’m on nowwwww 🤭

@godlyfantasy12

Good! I’m lounging around after work, waiting for dinner to finish in the slow cooker and enjoying the fact that I don’t have any homework for the moment.

How’s life?

@hybridlore

I’ve used GroupMe a lot. You can create subtopics and stuff like that, but I’m not sure how well it would work for a substitute KP. It’s a group messenging app, not a forum layout…?

@ellette-giselle

Yes! I like how you did Rolf’s story. It didn’t disrupt the flow, but also kept you from an info dump (while still avoiding the confusion of too many flash backs). Well done.

Conrad. *Sniffles* Brave young boy.

One note: Rolf seems to weep a lot in the desert, despite severe dehydration. While I understand him crying, I’d…[Read more]

I’d be open to creating our own community. Slack would probably work for me, I’d have to check with my parents about Discord since I don’t have it yet. There’s also Group Me… which I don’t know much about, but plenty of youth groups seem to use it for announcements (not sure if you can create mini channels or anything like that.)

@keilah-h

Yep, one of hers. It doesn’t have a lot to do with the book, but there is an otter who shows up with his trident great fork part way through. He’s possibly one of my favorite characters.

@godlyfantasy12

Story Embers? They closed their community forum down, so convo is basically impossible.

Annnnnd YDubs costs money…*broke college student speaking*

@godlyfantasy12

Hi!! I’m on for a bit.

@godlyfantasy12

I ammmm

but idk for how much longer, lol

@linus-smallprint

😭😢

It’s okay…. I understand.

@loopylin @keilah-h
I’ve never used Discord, but I’m open to it!! I wasn’t aware you could have separate channels and such.

Keilah, Slack is mostly used for businesses, but I’ve also been a part of a writing camp that uses it and it works pretty well. The only problem is that if we use the free version, the message history is only 90 days.

@ellette-giselle

Yep! I noticed that! 😆 “Teacher.” I like it.

@hybridlore

Awesome!! I’m so glad you liked it!!!

Yeah….. Rolf had a rough time of it, but he got out sooner, whereas Leon was in the bad situation longer… things just didn’t escalate so high.

btw, was it you who asked about him changing his name? Well, if it was, you now have an answer!

@ellette-giselle

I love the way you put us inside Rolf’s story instead of having him just tell it. It worked so much better. Also, the transitions were great.

Good section. The part about Conrad was sad, though. I don’t really have any big critiques. Great job!

@theshadow

It looks good! I don’t have any major critiques. It is a very short chapter, but it does a good job of building on the tension. Also, I like the way you described the trees.

It seems a little weird that Olivia and Adeline and Dylan don’t seem to care about their families… well, maybe Dylan a little bit.

@freed_and_redeemed

Love it!!

Also was not expecting Erich! I need to know how he joined the American army!!!

@hybridlore  @linus-smallprint    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @liberty

NEXT SECTION!!!

Interesting POV switch. A new technique I tried out for telling long stories rather then having a ton of first-person dialogue. Let me know what y’all think.

The sixteenth year of Emperor Haidronias’s reign
September 9th
The Empire<…

[Read more]

@theshadow

Oooo!! I like this!! This is getting good!

And, what if, what if we don’t make it?

This is a little cluncky because of the punctuation. If you did: “And what if–– what if we don’t make it?” or “And what if. . . what if we don’t make it?” either of those would work well. Use the dash if you want it to read as a sudden horrif…[Read more]

It would be nice to have a closed community…

I really hope everything irons out here, but I would probably be open to joining another “Rivendale” made of marooned KeePers if this kingdom does crumble away.