Koshka

@grcr

You are very welcome!!

Okay sounds good.

Okay, for a little more editorial feedback…..

and Emrysrushed

Second to last paragraph, you just need a space there.

And then structurally,

Put your right hand to your chest…”

This seems a little odd, because 1. it is one of the more standard ways of swearing an oath, and 2. as a sol…[Read more]

@grcr

Ooo! This is interesting!!

(I actually thought the dad was gonna die in this chapter from scene 1…. so I’m relieved that he made it. XD)

A few typos I caught, but at this point I’m not sure what sort of feedback you’re looking for, so let me know. This is interesting and I’m eager to keep reading if you post more!

So man y kids… and…[Read more]

@theducktator

lol. No prob. XD

@loopylin

Rory

“Push you? If you’re sure…..” He stared in confusion for several moments. Then, bracing his hands against the back of the chair, he gave it a shove and let go, waiting to see what would happen.

@whalekeeper

Oh my goodness! He’s such a good sport tho to reply like that! XD

@theducktator

I’m glad you got through it with no huge mistakes. Colds always settle in my ears and I get sinus infections. Really bad ones. Colds can be nasty. I’ve never gotten dizzy from one though…… I think? 😄

Praying that it clears up.

@esther-c

praying for you, Esther!

@whalekeeper

Sorry that I haven’t been replying as soon as usual. A raffle I was hosting on Unvale ended and I’m trying to organize and get the winners their prizes.

Gabriel Mai

“Because it’s a secret, and we aren’t that close. To be honest, the only people I know from that village who I trust not to gossip about it is Master, Isabella and her…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Gabriel Mai

“No. I don’t have anyone like that. Isabella is simply the one who gives me cinnamon buns while making some sort of banter comment.” Gabriel shook his head.

I will say Isabella most definitely has a crush on him, though he’s oblivious because he has no idea what that looks like XD.

@whalekeeper

Gabriel Mai

Gabriel clapped, genuinely smiling under his mask. “Just like that! No, only the Fourth knows I can throw hatchets. To my acquaintances, they would say I’d be the first one to die if a monster attacked because I have no self-preservation and they think I have no training,” Gabriel chuckled, amused by their opinions. “No,…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Gabriel Mai

Gabriel smiled softly. “Take a step closer to the tree before you throw again, it should properly rotate and lodge in the tree that way,” He took the hatchet and lodged it perfectly in the tree. He retrieved it for Lucy before speaking again. “I’ve seen such games at festivals. I never participated, though I have been…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

I’ve never done it lol. I looked up a YouTube tutorial.

Gabriel Mai

Gabriel patted her shoulder lightly as if to say it was alright, though his own ears didn’t appreciate the sound.

“Nice try.” Gabriel picked up the hatchet, and gave it back to her. “Throw it straight. Take your time if you have to, and don’t put so much force in.…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Gabriel Mai

“I can teach you that as well, but I want to teach you how to throw an axe first. It could come in handy in this labyrinth.” Gabriel removed the cover and checked the hatchet over, then took a few steps closer to the tree, until about 12 feet away. “I think it’ll throw good from this distance. Any farther and it might…[Read more]

@theducktator

lol, thanks….. but I think that message was for @rae , unless you’re talking about something I wrote…. (which you very well might be with my track record…… XD)

@theducktator

Oh poor girl! I’ll be praying!

@whalekeeper

Gabriel Mai

“Because this place is dangerous, and no place for a child. You should be at home, eating cookies or something by a fire. Children should be protected above others, because they’re the future, and the most vulnerable. That’s why.”

They rounded a corner of the maze, opening up into a circular area, about thirty feet in…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Lol, yes.

Gabriel Mai

The foggy labyrinth stretched on before them. Gabriel’s hearing had returned, and now be could hear footsteps somewhere along one of the many passages. They were too far away for Gabriel to be able to distinguish man from beast. He kept his hand on the hilt of his knife, eyes scanning the walls of the maze.…[Read more]

@Whalekeeper

Gabriel Mai

“Lucy! You should have used the key to go home!” Gabriel dug his fingertips into his hair, before sighing, composing himself, and putting his mask back on. “Let’s go.”

@whalekeeper

Gabriel Mai

Gabriel looked down at her. “You really shouldn’t breath in mysterious mists that are down low like that. Many poisonous mists are heavier than air.” She appeared fine, so Gabriel decided not to freak out. “What is it you want me to look at?”