freedom

@whalekeeper

Gabriel Mai

Gabriel shook his head. “It isn’t proper for a Protector to share his secret with many people. Besides, if they discovered my birthmarks, the fact I’m the Protector wouldn’t save me. I’ve already been marked as a demon by my previous village, and they’ve all seen the Protector fight at some point or another.” The red…[Read more]

@grcr

I don’t know who got shot!

@rae I like both pictures! The second one looks like he’s moving, which I think is neat. The only thing I’d like better about the other is that I do like the wind coming from behind him/how it pushes his hair forward and frames his face. I’m enjoying imagining them happening right after each other in a scene, like he turned around. 😀

@ellette-giselle

lol there was a space in the actual doc, I don’t know why it didn’t transfer over…

This seems a little odd, because 1. it is one of the more standard ways of swearing an oath, and 2. as a soldier he would know this from training and wouldn’t need to be told. I would say something like “swear the oath” etc. Something that tell…

[Read more]

@hybridlore

lol, thanks. XD

True, true.

We’ve become proficient in anarchy. Says a lot about the quality of our group…. Not sure what, but it says a lot of it.

@grcr

Good scene! I’m still not really sure what happened at the end… but yeah, I was expecting the dad to die too. 😅🥲

I like the siblings too (although their names are confusing, haha.)

@theducktator

Yay! Hope you feel better soon!

@ellette-giselle Haha, your signature! XD

@grcr

You are very welcome!!

Okay sounds good.

Okay, for a little more editorial feedback…..

and Emrysrushed

Second to last paragraph, you just need a space there.

And then structurally,

Put your right hand to your chest…”

This seems a little odd, because 1. it is one of the more standard ways of swearing an oath, and 2. as a sol…[Read more]

@whalekeeper Your brother is an absolute diamond lol. Sounds like you have a good relationship with him.

@ellette-giselle

eeeee yay!! 😃 I’m pretty much open to all feedback… yeah.

(I actually thought the dad was gonna die in this chapter from scene 1…. so I’m relieved that he made it. XD)

LOL

It’s like a family I know, expect they have 15 kids and it’s all “J” names.

😅 I guess great minds think alike lolol

Yeah, it’s not vital. It probably wo…[Read more]

@grcr

Ooo! This is interesting!!

(I actually thought the dad was gonna die in this chapter from scene 1…. so I’m relieved that he made it. XD)

A few typos I caught, but at this point I’m not sure what sort of feedback you’re looking for, so let me know. This is interesting and I’m eager to keep reading if you post more!

So man y kids… and…[Read more]

@theducktator

lol. No prob. XD

@loopylin

Rory

“Push you? If you’re sure…..” He stared in confusion for several moments. Then, bracing his hands against the back of the chair, he gave it a shove and let go, waiting to see what would happen.

@whalekeeper

Oh my goodness! He’s such a good sport tho to reply like that! XD

@theducktator

I’m glad you got through it with no huge mistakes. Colds always settle in my ears and I get sinus infections. Really bad ones. Colds can be nasty. I’ve never gotten dizzy from one though…… I think? 😄

Praying that it clears up.

@esther-c

praying for you, Esther!