Ellette Giselle

@savannah_grace2009

cross my heart, I knew about this guy before reading those books! lol

Yes, it’s really wacky. I completely skipped the second book, but even then it was bad.

@loopylin

whoops! I saw this by accident! KP didn’t notify me. 😑

Rory

He blinked. Shrugged. Life was confusing. Why did people say things they didn’t mean? He moved behind the chair on wheels and grabbed the handles, carefully, he began to push it down the sidewalk. “Where are we going?”

@theducktator

Ugh, being sick is the worst. Everyone in my family likes to get sick one at a time so that by the time the last person is getting better the first person has moved on to something new…. 😑

Praying.

@whalekeeper

Haha! Love the last one!

@linus-smallprint

Family friend, but yes. Dad knew him while he was in the military.

@koshka

That had better be utter sarcasm, XD

@koshka

Oh, okay then.

Those books are cool, but they also have a lot of wacky things theology-wise.

@koshka

I KNOW! When I was reading that I was like, “No way! This is what happened to –––” Except I don’t think Drew Carter’s dad died in Dessert Storm. And was he Special Forces?

@esther-c

Glad it was helpful. I have a possible idea for something that you could try for option three.

We knew a kid who was trying to go straight. His dad was Special Forces and died in Dessert Storm. His dad’s best friend was kind of a mentor to him tho and was trying to fill in as a father figure. None of them were Christian’s at this…[Read more]

@esther-c

Hi Esther. I actually had something similar to deal with in one of my books as well. Here are the two things I would say to keep in mind that will most likely make the difference.

1. There can be a time where the MC believes a lie as long as it is shown to be a lie by the end of the book. (i.e. There are some rough consequences…[Read more]

@keilah-h

lololol. I get that. The Tangled one was me with the Zero Hour: Freedom set.

@elishavet-pidyon

lol, well thanks. I get told I’m crazy or weird all the time. XD

haha. It’s not me always either. But I feel like readers view us as always thinking that. XD

@hybridlore

lol, thanks. XD

@grcr

You are very welcome!!

Okay sounds good.

Okay, for a little more editorial feedback…..

and Emrysrushed

Second to last paragraph, you just need a space there.

And then structurally,

Put your right hand to your chest…”

This seems a little odd, because 1. it is one of the more standard ways of swearing an oath, and 2. as a sol…[Read more]

@grcr

Ooo! This is interesting!!

(I actually thought the dad was gonna die in this chapter from scene 1…. so I’m relieved that he made it. XD)

A few typos I caught, but at this point I’m not sure what sort of feedback you’re looking for, so let me know. This is interesting and I’m eager to keep reading if you post more!

So man y kids… and…[Read more]

@theducktator

lol. No prob. XD