Abigail.M.

@livingwoodchronicles

This looks amazingly! I would love to join in, although…

My writing isn’t the very great yet, (but my sister who is reading over my shoulder just said it wasn’t bad either). I do write clean, the prose is just bumpy. I’d love to try though.

@rae

I’m not sure what to call my style, besides being metered and rhymed. I don’t know a whole lot about poetry, besides a few basic rules.

Hmm, thanks for ideas and feedback!

@savannah_grace2009

Thank you! It’s one of my best so far.

Hey y’all, I and my sister will be on off and on for the next couple of days (especially tomorrow), so that could potentially add 2 to your numbers.

@Rae (forgot to tag you earlier lol)

Also, what is the end goal of your plot? Reuniting the galaxy and reversing what Grathmere did while working with him? I recommend making Grathmere somewhat morally relatable (think Edmund Dantes from The Count of Monte Cristo)

That is revealed later on in the book. While Nahim thought that it was impossible, someone did come into the grasslandsxand found him. Not Mandin though.

I see, maybe you could include something about Nahim’s confusion?

Oh, you’ve discovered my weird habit of writing. I’m thinking about breaking it. I write from the view of a girl from fan…

[Read more]

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

Jayson

This was awkward.

“Jayson, Rafael, which would you two prefer?” the older man turned to Raffe with a gentle smile. I glanced at my Commando In Arms (I’ll explain later, it has to do with cereal boxes).

“Well,” Raffe paused as if tasting his thoughts before serving them for general consumption. “I think you’r…[Read more]

@rae

I see… I would recommend thinking of a theme/topic to intertwine each story into and have the ending be a culmination of that theme/topic to communicate your message in the character’s actions and choices, and how they’re rewarded/punished. E.g. Star Wars (I block quoted it for spoilers, if you haven’t seen them yet and spoilers bother…[Read more]

@rae

Ok that helps me understand the overall story better, so you’re basically going for something very similar to Star Wars (before Disney got a chokehold on it 😭) but with a Christian worldview writing it, and probably some of Joseph’s story from Genesis thrown in.

I recommend Odd 1s Out’s video on pitching a show to help when explaining to…[Read more]

https://storyembers.org/groups/sci-fi-writers/forum/topic/sci-fi-short-story/

Here’s a new-ish version, this is probably going to be more readable lol. (I’m still not satisfied with it, but this is how it looked when posting on Story Embers when the forum was still active, and I’m less embarrassed about it lol, even if I’m still not happy with…[Read more]

OK THAT IS OLDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS! You really don’t have to read it unless you want writing I cringe to read even the first sentence lol. (Forgot I had a period I really wasn’t posting on KP because I wasn’t really a teen anymore, I’m a Story Embers refugee)

(Changes I made: Main character’s name is now Jake, Fabian’s speech issues are more…[Read more]

Another revision of Ice

This is the WIP I was mentioning, it has some problems, and I’m far from even 75% satisfied with how it turned out lol, but this is sorta a sample of something from about three years ago.

@rae

That’s OK! It’s a week before Christmas, and I think everyone’s juggling a lot more than normal right now! Also, I’ve only read the first half of the chapter as of yet, as I’ve had several other things I’m working on. But I do intend to read the rest of it!

You have certainly not failed as a writer, you have an early draft that just needs…[Read more]

@overcomer

Here’s the poem I’ve been struggling with. The first and fourth stanzas irritate me the most.

I also have no idea who to tag for this anymore (the last thing I submitted for critiques was some time ago) but feel free to tag anyone.

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

Okay y’all, I just got off on Christmas break, so I should be able to RP consistently for a week or so, if y’all are up to getting the Leon, Elenore, Isaiah, ect. group up again.

@Rae

I’m so sorry that this took so long! I hope it helps!

“Nahim. Nahim!”
Mandin waved his large hand in front of his 19-year-old [this is shown when Nahim thinks about how long ago the accident was] friend’s hidden face. “Nahim, what’s up?”
[how does Nahim react to Mandin waving his hand in front of his face? does he tell him to stop? does…[Read more]

@Rae

I’m so sorry giving you my thoughts on Ch 2 is taking so long, I’m kinda busy with the holidays lol and it’s been taking me a while.

@Rae

Cool! I’ll definitely wanna give you my thoughts! But I do have some other things to do today, so I’ll see when I can get started on my notes😁. Thanks for sharing!

@Rae

also, unless you have a problem with sharing what later happens in your story, I don’t mind hearing spoilers to understand the grander scope of your story if you need help with it. 🙂

@Rae

Also, keep in mind that Forgiveness is letting go of the right to avenge, Reconciliation is repairing the relationship.

I don’t know if you’ve watched/seen Avatar the Last Airbender, but if you have, there’s a great example in that show if you have.