Abigail.M.

@freedomwriter76 @smiley

Okay y’all, I just got off on Christmas break, so I should be able to RP consistently for a week or so, if y’all are up to getting the Leon, Elenore, Isaiah, ect. group up again.

@Rae

I’m so sorry that this took so long! I hope it helps!

“Nahim. Nahim!”
Mandin waved his large hand in front of his 19-year-old [this is shown when Nahim thinks about how long ago the accident was] friend’s hidden face. “Nahim, what’s up?”
[how does Nahim react to Mandin waving his hand in front of his face? does he tell him to stop? does…[Read more]

@Rae

I’m so sorry giving you my thoughts on Ch 2 is taking so long, I’m kinda busy with the holidays lol and it’s been taking me a while.

@Rae

Cool! I’ll definitely wanna give you my thoughts! But I do have some other things to do today, so I’ll see when I can get started on my notes😁. Thanks for sharing!

@Rae

also, unless you have a problem with sharing what later happens in your story, I don’t mind hearing spoilers to understand the grander scope of your story if you need help with it. 🙂

@Rae

Also, keep in mind that Forgiveness is letting go of the right to avenge, Reconciliation is repairing the relationship.

I don’t know if you’ve watched/seen Avatar the Last Airbender, but if you have, there’s a great example in that show if you have.

@Rae

This is a great Villain! he’s got a solid personality, values, and reasons why he does what he does. I think I know who Alpha is though😉😉! My one caution is not to let him off too easy for what he did, even if it was out of revenge, and why did his race get killed off in the first place? did they have a bad reputation?

@rae

Ok so I totally gave you my thoughts on ch 2, but they didn’t post 😭! I’ll try again lol, but it might take me a while.

It does! I’m also asking these questions to help you flesh out your world a bit more, since I know having someone to bounce off of can help a lot, and so you can get some ideas for where to take the story if you’re…[Read more]

You’re welcome!

Also, depending on his original language’s use of feminine and masculine pronouns, he might associate sexes to certain objects, like referring to a speeder as a she maybe?

@rae

I’m sorry to hear you’re under the weather! would you like me to give you  my critique on this?

Also, with the whole speedering versus speedeering, you could also try speed-deering or something along those lines, as if Nahim struggles with ‘ur’ sounds, changing them to ‘ear’. where else does his accent show? Does wording sound off? how…[Read more]

@loopylin

Thanks! That’s what I was going for with him! Thank you so much for your input!

Do i have a good snse of movement? is it clear what he’s doing?

Also, here is a drawing of another of my elf oc’s, that is an homage to one I made about nine to ten years ago who was basically cardboard in terms of depth, and the black hair was natural versus this one who dyed his hair at one point lol.

@overcomer

Oh, I’ve done that soo many times… the interesting rabbit holes we find. I believe the last one I fell down was the difference was Scottish sayings and proverbs. I didn’t find what I was looking for, but as I now can no longer remember what that was everything is fine. XD

Ah, freeverse…

Freeverse is a thing

That I cannot…[Read more]

Also, is my design recognizable and clear?

Ok so you have to make sure your drawing/photo is 900×900 pixels tops if you wanna post a jpg on here

Hopefully posting this works lol…

So, what are your impressions of this character (temporarily named Deerfoot) visually without reading the text (personality, his role in the story, anything else?) and, possibly, if you can think of a good name for him? (I was thinking Conri, an old irish name meaning ‘king of hounds’)

(Nameberry and B…[Read more]

That’s ok! Looking forward to seeing more!

also, I’d love to see more of your world!

@rae

This chapter really hooked me! I’d love to see where it goes! What themes/messages are you pursuing?

I critiqued the chapter, feel free to read or ignore if you want, I forgot to ask you before writing my opinions. If you choose to read, bear in mind that these are my opinions, and they are far from professional as well as unwarranted…[Read more]