AveryTheExplodey

@grcr @acancello @trailblazer

Here’s my WIP if you’re interested! And don’t feel pressured to read it if you’re busy (or just don’t want to!, I understand that life gets complicated and busy!

@grcr

Just read this! You did a great job with helping me connect with the characters. They feel so real!!!

I like your descriptions, but like others are saying, they were kind of long. I think it would help if you spread the descriptions out along the chapter instead of making them into one long paragraph. I’ve struggled with this as well, so…[Read more]

@trailblazer @acancello

Thanks! If you want to read more, I can tag you on the forum where I am posting the whole story and asking for critiques.

I feel so bad for Sef but I LOVE their relationship! It makes me so happy! 🙂

@power

like @lydia-s said: reinforcements have arrived!

Most romantic thing I’ve written (i mean it’s not that romantic but it still makes me happy every time I read it!)

“Sef!”

Sef heard the door crash open upstairs and began to panic. It was late, and the odds that Iver had not been drinking were next to impossible. She knew she should ans…

[Read more]

Okay guys, here’s the most romantic thing I’ve written so far:

“Sef!”

Sef heard the door crash open upstairs and began to panic. It was late, and the odds that Iver had not been drinking were next to impossible. She knew she should answer, she knew that hiding would only make him worse, but she was paralyzed with the cold hands of fea…

[Read more]

@grcr

I hope so!

@grcr  @jonas @highscribeofaetherium

Yeah i just tried and the green bar thingy loads but then it goes away and nothing happens. I’ve hit refresh multiple times but it doesn’t work 🙁

@grcr

I tried a half-hour ago and it still doesn’t work :(((

@grcr

I can’t add a pfp either ever since i joined!!

@thearcaneaxiom @whalekeeper

Okay thanks Whaley! And yes number 1 is Rishona.

@thearcaneaxiom

Right, she represents Eve, but is she literally Eve? Is Earth here the same Earth we know, and therefore the story of Adam and Eve is really just a translation of Rishona’s story?

Well I think that Rishona is literally Eve in my story, and Earth is the same earth we know but I think what I was going for is that there’s no Adam a…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Yes, Rishona does represent Eve in the prologue.

Right, she represents Eve, but is she literally Eve? Is Earth here the same Earth we know, and therefore the story of Adam and Eve is really just a translation of Rishona’s story?

And I do agree that I use flowery language excessively. I love your ideas, because you have helped…

[Read more]

@thearcaneaxiom

“What is magick?” She tested out the foreign world, mulling it over in her mind.

“Ahh, yes, I suppose you wouldn’t know,” he said airily. Rishona bristled at his mocking tone. Her stomach clenched, and she ground her teeth as her jaw hardened defiantly. What was this emotion, she wondered. She had never felt this way before. N…

[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Great topic as always! I agree with Trailblazer’s comment, because when it comes to sci-fi/fantasy, really anything goes, you can have one God, or you could have many, or you could have none. So when it comes to that sort of thing, the question should be less of whether or not you have “God” in your world, and more of what is…[Read more]

@smiley

Interesting. So for the question of whether or not you want Christianity in it, all I can honestly say is that’s entirely up to you. If this were me, I would put in all sorts of Christian themes, and perhaps even correlations to the atonement, but I wouldn’t get into it deliberately. It simply depends on what you want as a writer, and who…[Read more]

@thearcaneaxiom

Yes, Rishona does represent Eve in the prologue.  And I do agree that I use flowery language excessively. I love your ideas, because you have helped me realize things about myself I never have before!

And about the paragraph you wrote….

“Ahh, yes, I suppose you wouldn’t know,” he said airily. The dismissive comment trigge…

[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

No worries about the quotes, it’s legible!

Oh wow I never thought about it like that! I was just thinking that the prologue would be how the world of Andromeda took a turn and how evil was let into the world. No, Earth and Andromeda don’t represent Adam and Eve, they’re just two different worlds. I’m not sure if that answe…

[Read more]

@thearcaneaxiom : I’m sorry I made that look so confusing!

thanks @jonas for helping me!

@jonas sorry got your tag wrong

how did i forget that??? sorry i’m tired

IT WORKED!!!

@cloakedmystery

really???? i’m gonna try it…

‘The process I described would also give you green lines.’

i hope it works lol

*me casually making a fool out of myself on KP but oh well its ok 😂*