Writers' Corner #15

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  • #70571
    SeekJustice
    @seekjustice
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 3365

      @jess-penrose

      My last line was:

      above the din came Errol’s voice, but I could not distinguish his words from the rest of the chaos.

      your last line is very interesting too πŸ˜‰


      @Rochellaine

      Sorry, you’ll thank me one day though (or maybe not)

      INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

      #70572
      J.A. Penrose
      @jess-penrose
        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
        • Total Posts: 377

        @seekjustice Oooh nice!

        Writer | Freelance Editor
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        Catwing
        @catwing
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 2557

          @jess-penrose Yeah, I have trouble showing, not telling. πŸ™
          Maybe after I go through all these and get the revised doc to you. I’m revising it in a different doc. πŸ™‚
          Just wondering, did you think I needed to develop the characters more?


          @rochellaine
          @seekjustice I have to go to bed. Good night.

          IMMA KAPEEFER! Til we're old and gray!

          #70574
          Rochellaine
          @rochellaine
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 3322

            @seekjustice Yes…Someday. πŸ˜›Β  Of course I thank you!Β  But my fingers are feeling confused right now, since they don’t know where to go.


            @jess-penrose
            Oh, are we supposed to give our last lines?Β  I’ve never done that before.Β  But mine was kind of weird… “With a quick shove, Chara managed to stand up, and then toppled…”Β  πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€

            "Sylvester - Sylvester!"

            #70575
            J.A. Penrose
            @jess-penrose
              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
              • Total Posts: 377

              @catwing Oh yay! I’ll happily look through it again! Hmm… It could be good. Have I mentioned anything about passive voice? And goodnight!


              @rochellaine
              Hahaha, no clue. I just tend to whenever I war with my cousin. So, she may have invented that, or maybe she got it from somewhere else… but I always tend to do it anyway ‘cos it can be fun to read them.

              Writer | Freelance Editor
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              SeekJustice
              @seekjustice
                • Rank: Chosen One
                • Total Posts: 3365

                @jess-penrose πŸ™‚


                @catwing
                I have trouble with showing not telling as well, so much of my editing involves fixing it! You are not alone in this struggle!


                @Rochellaine
                i don’t think we were supposed to, but Jess did and I liked my last line so I did too!

                I hope your confusion lessens some time soon πŸ™‚

                INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

                #70577
                J.A. Penrose
                @jess-penrose
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 377

                  @seekjustice Haha, right. Sorry, I take it Jane didΒ notΒ pick up that habit from KP…wonder where from then… *shrugs*

                  Writer | Freelance Editor
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                  SeekJustice
                  @seekjustice
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 3365

                    @jess-penrose

                    Ah no, I don’t think she did. It was fun anyway though!

                    INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

                    #70579
                    Rochellaine
                    @rochellaine
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 3322

                      @catwing Goodnight!


                      @seekjustice
                      @jess-penrose I’m actually going to say goodbye now too.Β  I don’t know if I’ll be back tonight, but probably not.Β  So goodnight!

                      "Sylvester - Sylvester!"

                      #70580
                      J.A. Penrose
                      @jess-penrose
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 377

                        Ah, see ya!Β @rochellaine

                        And I actually must be heading off for lunch now. @seekjustice but I should be back soonish.

                        Writer | Freelance Editor
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                        SeekJustice
                        @seekjustice
                          • Rank: Chosen One
                          • Total Posts: 3365

                          @rochellaine

                          Farewell πŸ™


                          @jess-penrose

                          How’s your writing going?

                          INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

                          #70582
                          SeekJustice
                          @seekjustice
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 3365

                            @rochellaine

                            Farewell πŸ™


                            @jess-penrose

                            I should probably get lunch too. Bye!

                            INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.

                            #70583
                            J.A. Penrose
                            @jess-penrose
                              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                              • Total Posts: 377

                              *crashes back in* I am writing again if anyone wants to join!

                              Writer | Freelance Editor
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                              J.A. Penrose
                              @jess-penrose
                                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                                • Total Posts: 377

                                Signing out. I’ve gotten 3147 words today, but I shall be stopping for now.

                                Writer | Freelance Editor
                                Inspiration&lt

                                Ariel Ashira
                                @ariel-ashira
                                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                                  • Total Posts: 739

                                  Can I join this conversation occasionaly. Β Or at least read what you guys write? πŸ™‚

                                  "In a mask, was he?"

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