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There’s so much to one of my stories (HofE), especially so much I’m unsure about, that I can’t present the twists as they deserve.
The biggest twist in my FP,WS story is that the mentor dies at the end (which I hope will be surprising, but still mostly unexpected).
Other than that, I’ll have to get back to you on the HofE twists, once I’ve written more of it. 🙃
"[Write] today like there's no tomorrow!"
@freedomwriter76 I can’t actually draw that well. I traced that drawing off a picture I took of a page in a comic…. but thanks!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
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@keilah-h. Well I still can’t even trace things very well, lol. XD But the coloring looks really good too! <3
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@godlyfantasy12. GIRL, I HAVE A SPOILER!!!! So…uh, one of my MC’s, Riker…loses his mother in my book. *cries*
I’ve thought about the idea for a while now, but like…NOW I’VE FINALLY DECIDED TO DO IT AND I’M GOING TO CRY!!!!!
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But…heh…his and his father’s relationship might be mended, so…something good comes out of the bad! 😀
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@godlyfantasy12. Is there any way I can just hug November and Corvina? 😉 (OOH, AND GRIMM!!!!)
@freedomwriter76 Thanks!
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
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@keilah-h. You’re Very Welcome! 😀
@freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12 @koshka @anyone-else @sunny421
Hello! I have returned! (After lurking about here silently enjoying everyone’s spoilers) I love them all, especially November and Corvina’s.
Now I mean to tell mine own.
*Deep breath*
OKAY Y’ALL, I HAVE TO TELL THIS!!
VIKTOR AND THE SIBLINGS HAVE A FIRST COUSIN!!! For now he will be called Fritz. A few of you know who he is, but his name would open up another spoiler that I’m not ready to share yet, so…
To the story.
*Ahem*
There’s a lot behind this point of the story, but suffice it to say that their daddy was one of the highest Shepherds of Eirtan and happened to be the man that Ocran hated the most. In an ironic twist of life, Ocran’s confederates in Yartass learn who the kids are and in the ensuing hunt for the kid’s blood, Yartass becomes more of a trap than a refuge. Thus they end up fleeing to the last place they would have thought to go for safety: Eirtan, the land of their inheritance.
However, Ocran’s confederates send word ahead of them, and they get caught.
*Cue dramatic music*
BUT!!!!
*clash of cymbals*
Fritz *wink wink* happens to be bringing some sheep to market (and maybe doing some spying off on the side, but you know, we don’t ask questions) and he and his comrades are passing by when they hear a commotion. The kids are not ready to come easily, and they have caused quite the fuss. Fritz being the type of fellow that he is, turns aside to see what is causing the Dorwains so much trouble.
He vaguely remembers Viktor, but not enough to recognize him. However, the instant he sees Alyona he realizes who they are.
And he comes in and saves the day and they end up joining up with him and meeting their uncle etc., etc.
But when Viktor asks how he recognizes them, Fritz avoids answering.
Fritz is kind and forgiving, but he harbors a deep rooted bitterness against Dorwains, even to their boots. He says that unlike the Eirtanian soft smoked boots that are sensitive to the earth, the Dorwinian hard soles are made for crushing.
Then CERTAIN THINGS HAPPEN including Alyona getting captured by Dorwain raiders and the boys set out to get her back. THEN THE STORY UNFOLDS.
Alyona resembles a little girl named Rania. Rania loved to sing and would have looked a lot like Alyona.
Had Rania lived to be Alyona’s age.
But in a village raid a few months after Rania’s ninth birthday, she was murdered. Fritz found her, a Dorwainian boot print in her back.
She was Fritz’s little sister.
*Weeps desperately*
So, while in some ways Fritz seems perfect, he has a great abiding guilt for not being there to stop his sister’s death, and a deep hatred for anything belonging to the Dorwains. While it is fine to be angry at the people who have destroyed your kingdom and are actively oppressing your people, this bitterness and guilt have to be dealt with or Fritz will become no better that the Dorwains are.
SO, that was long, but I wanted to share it and see what y’all think. Honestly, Rania’s the one story that I feel almost guilty for creating.
*Sob*
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
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@elishavet-pidyon. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!
THAT’S SO DEEP AND SAD AND BEAUTIFUL ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *SOBS*
And also, Haha, I get what you mean about feeling Guilty…Girl, I kill Leon’s wife, okay!? I kill Fin, the nice SS officer that helps Riker out. I kill Riker’s MOTHER for crying out loud! Yeah, okay, I kill three characters in the same book…I wanna break hearts, okay!? JK. XD It’s just showing the reality of life and war, ESPECIALLY WWII. But…that doesn’t mean it doesn’t break my own heart. Because it does. *sobs* I love Aadelheide, Fin, and Jennie, but sadly…their deaths have become necessary. And heh, why do I torture Riker so much? He loves his mother, he becomes close to and has Fin talk to him about God’s mercy, grace, and love, and he blames himself entirely for Aadelheide’s death. *sobs again and hugs Riker tight*
@freedomwriter76
Yayyy! I’m so glad you like it! It’s definitely both my favorite and my least favorite part of the tale.
Ugh, yes! XD You are so cruel!
Keep it up! XD
But it’s not like we really enjoy killing off these characters; it’s just that we love the story element to it and how these deaths build character. And yes, realistic depictions of war can’t be done without death. It’s a sad truth.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
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@elishavet-pidyon. Haha. I totally get it being your favorite and least favorite part. XD I feel the same way.
Haha, yes. I am very cruel. 😉
I will be sure to keep it up! XD XD XD
Exactly! I don’t enjoy killing off Aadelheide, but it later brings both Leon and Riker to God. I don’t like killing off Fin, but it leads to Riker pushing himself forward to help more Jews and save more innocent people. I don’t like killing Jennie, but it brings Riker and his sister Angelina closer together and possibly brings reconciliation between Riker and his Dad. 🙂
@elishavet-pidyon That’s super sad, but amazing storytelling all at the same time. I want to read your book……
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
It is sad. *Sniff* but thank you! That means so much. 🙂
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
@freedomwriter76
Absolutely! If it weren’t for how it benefits the story, nine of us would kill off our characters. With the possible exception of those authors that just love to break their reader’s heart. XD
We all have a little streak of that in us…
But honestly, a death in a book without reason is one of my pet peeves. I hate it when I look back later and go, “they could have just let that character live and it would have been better.”
Thankfully, that doesn’t happen too often.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
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