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Note on dialogue grammar:
“Probably.” Zahlin said, drawing the blade. “Nahim, put that sword down now. I’m not asking twice.”
You want a comma after ‘probably’: “Probably,” Zahlin said…
The ‘probably’ is connected to ‘Zahlin said.’ You do want a period after ‘Zahlin said, drawing the blade.’ like you put. Just a habit you should get into.
Ellis
That was far enough. Ellis drew his own sword, which burned green.
“Nahim, put. The sword. Away. This is for your own good.”
Oh, then I must be weird. I thought Florida was famous for it’s invasive species, sorry about that. Must be thinking of some other state.
"Tell me is the world really worth saving?" -Everybody Dies by Rory Webley
Help Gabriel.Nahim
“I don’t consider anything for my own good when someone has a sword and I don’t.”
"Tell me is the world really worth saving?" -Everybody Dies by Rory Webley
Help Gabriel.Ellis
Ellis scratched his head, confused.
“You literally just drew your sword.”
I’m loving this…
"Tell me is the world really worth saving?" -Everybody Dies by Rory Webley
Help Gabriel.Nahim
“I was saying, I don’t consider it good for me when you have a sword and you want me to put mine away.”
He’s got a bad headache.
"Tell me is the world really worth saving?" -Everybody Dies by Rory Webley
Help Gabriel.Ellis
Ellis sighed in exasperation.
“You drew your sword first. You can still put it away.”
Oh it’s fine!! I would describe Florida as a tiny Australia, sooo there may be a lot of wierd things here. I’ve probably just lived here so long that I don’t even notice tbh.
(Not that Australia is wierd, but how you see Florida I would guess is how I imagine Australia. Lol.)
Kavan hit his head so hard once that he dreamed he was a loaf of bread.
Nahim
“You are making no sense.” Nahim tapped his thigh twice and traced out a design with his finger.
Note:has to do with Realn armor and how it works.
"Tell me is the world really worth saving?" -Everybody Dies by Rory Webley
Help Gabriel.I’m enjoying this conversation between the characters BTW. Lol.
Kavan hit his head so hard once that he dreamed he was a loaf of bread.
Zahlin
Zahlin snapped his Sword back into its sheath. “If this goes too far,” He said, “I will intervene.”
Exit pursued by bear
Nahim
“Then we agree. Now are you going to let me go do my assignments in peace and forget about Zahlin and I and our duel, or do I have to fight my way?”
"Tell me is the world really worth saving?" -Everybody Dies by Rory Webley
Help Gabriel.
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