Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › Into the Lamp (YA fantasy) Critique
- This topic has 65 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 8 months ago by Ribbonash.
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March 10, 2021 at 7:27 pm #95234
Sooo to be honest, I’ve been kind of nervous about doing this, but I’m just gonna go for it and hope for the best, right? π Anyway, for one of my novels, Into the Lamp – a YA fantastical contemporary retelling of Aladdin – I had been doing a lot of query for agents and all that stuff. Well, long story short, I’ve put that on pause right now and decided instead that I could probably do some more edits to the novel.
honestly, guys, I just want to edit it for eternity and never stop XD I probably won’t ever be satisfied. So if any of you INCREDIBLE authors would like to look over it, here it is:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AusRMcV0KvYUST9ZKPOCYi0mNWL_MlQ6QBOBCYW100U/edit?usp=sharing
Questions:
~Does this opening hook you?
~Would you continue reading?
~Do you like Colin?
~Is it worded too choppy or not clear enough?
THANK YA’LL SOOO MUCH for doing this!!!!!!! <33
God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
TeenWritersNook.comMarch 10, 2021 at 7:34 pm #95236Oh, and some tagges:
@mkfairygirl @scripter-of-kingdoms @gracie-j @devastate-lasting @nova21 @abigail-m @imwritehere1920 @ribbonash @kayleigh-idea @godlyfantasy12 @millennium @daisy-torres @e-k-seaver @anyone-who-likes-fantasy @anyone-who-is-reading-this @colin-carlson @wouldn’t-it-be-so-cool-if-there-was-actually-someone-with-the-previous-username-on-here @anyone-who-believes-in-genies XD (Also, if I tagged you, don’t feel obligated to read it if you don’t wanna. And if I didn’t, it’s not because I don’t want you to read it. It’s because I get suuuper nervous asking people to read my work. I STILL TOTALLY WANT YOU TO READ THE STORY, if you want to, of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
TeenWritersNook.comMarch 10, 2021 at 7:42 pm #95237@issawriter7 I’d love to look over it for you some time! That’s awesome, girl!
Lately, it's been on my brain
Would you mind letting me know
If hours don't turn into daysMarch 10, 2021 at 7:43 pm #95239@issawriter7 Thank you so much for tagging me, Is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!πππππ Also, lol that you tagged Colin Carlson!!!π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£
"It looks like a fairy world"~Meg from Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
Fall in love with JesusMarch 10, 2021 at 7:45 pm #95240YAAAAY!!!!!! <33 THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH, girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
TeenWritersNook.comMarch 10, 2021 at 7:46 pm #95241Of course!! IΒ have to tag Colin’s number one fan. XD LOL!! ikr!! Man, if Colin was on this forum, he’d make things prettyyy interesting. XD
God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
TeenWritersNook.comMarch 10, 2021 at 7:47 pm #95242YES! YES YES YES! *ahem* So I know I’ve read this before, but gosh I love it so much that I’ll read it again! <33333 Your writing is incredible, girl!! You’re super talented, and I just KNOW I’m gonna keep loving this story!!!! π π π I can’t promise I can get to it quicklyΒ
I’m an infamously slow readerbut when I do, I’m gonna leave a thousand comments!!! πMarch 10, 2021 at 7:51 pm #95243YES YES YESSSS!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS, girl, that just made my day. π I had almost tagged you, but didn’t want you to feel obligated to read it again and all, but I am SOO HAPPY that you want to!!!!!! *jumps up and down* YES!! *pumps fist in the air* I sooo hope so!! Haha, that’s perfectly okay, girl! Take your time and no worries. But THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for this comment, ’cause I’m smiling SO hard right now and it’s really just made me VERY happy!!!!!!!!!! π YESS!! Leave thousands of comments. π
God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
TeenWritersNook.comMarch 10, 2021 at 7:52 pm #95244<p style=”text-align: left;”>Life has been so hectic lately I haven’t even been done for the people I promised to work on</p>
The pen is mightier than the sword, but in a duel, I'm taking the sword.
ekseaver.wordpress.comMarch 10, 2021 at 7:58 pm #95245Awww, I’m so happy that I made you happy!!!! π π π Oh, it’s no worries!!! I honestly got really excited when I saw you posted this critique (not that I’ll be doing an awful lot of critiquing, because this story is just so awesome. You can expect plenty of fangirling though XD) I knew I just HAD to jump over and comment though!!! Thanks for understanding!! π I’ve been busy with school/making writing goals and stuff, so I haven’t had much time lately. But YES! <333333 ROCK ON, Issa!!!!!!! *thumbs up* And be proud of yourself for being brave to share this!!!!
March 10, 2021 at 7:59 pm #95246That’s TOTALLY okay!! Not a problem! I get behind on a lot of things too! π
God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
TeenWritersNook.comMarch 10, 2021 at 8:02 pm #95247Aww, again that means like SO much!!!!!! <333 (LOL!!! Hey, I’m TOTALLY cool for just a bunch of fangirling. π ) YAAY!!!! Well, I’m SOOOO glad you did!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33 Of course, girl, np! Aaaah, yeah, I feel ya there. I’ve been crazily behind with a lotta things as well. Hang in there, though!!!! Aww, THANK YOU!!!!! Girl, you’re TOO SWEET!!!!! <333 THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
TeenWritersNook.comMarch 10, 2021 at 8:04 pm #95249I’ll defiantly been reading this! Can’t wait to get into it!
A wolf is a wolf,
even in a cage,
even dressed in silk.March 10, 2021 at 8:07 pm #95250YESS!!!!! *jumps up and down and pumps fist in the air and repeats the whole process again* I’m SOO HAPPY to hear that!!!!!! <33 THANK YOU A HUNDRED TIMES OVER, girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33
God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
TeenWritersNook.comMarch 10, 2021 at 8:29 pm #95251You’re so welcome! I’m very I’m impressed by the fact you’ve actually written a book! I’m getting there with mine, slowly but steadily. π
A wolf is a wolf,
even in a cage,
even dressed in silk. -
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