Enid

@koshka

Rax and Ben

Rax found Syph’s terminology quite amusing, he smiled. “Ready? Three, two, one.” Rax hoisted Syph onto his shoulder with ease. “How does it feel up there?” Rax smiled up at the blue man/person/thing that Rax didn’t know.

@linus-smallprint

I thought you were being serious until I saw that they were changed 🤣

I think I like the Not Literal Version, lol

500 pages!!! Woohoo!!! *throws confetti*

@ellette-giselle

*randomly pops in*

Maybe having Leon point that out would help readers realize it more?

@raxforge

Sypher

He looked up at this Rax person less than two feet taller than him and frowned. “I’m a little old to be riding shoulders, but…” a smile darted across his face. “If you wouldn’t mind my following you, I could use a wave breaker just about now. You know, follow in your wake. I’d be much obliged.”

He stuffed his hands into his…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Leo

“Whoa, kid, don’t knock yourself out.” Leo got to his feet, setting Quincy down in the chair behind him and reaching to steady the comforter entangled boy. He caught Rory’s flailing hand. Dazed green eyes turned to look at him. Confused.

“Rory, sit back down.” He offered gave a gentle smile. “I don’t think you’re fully awake yet.

@elishavet-pidyon

I liked how you had Neveah try to combat the lie, and it’s obvious it’s for Sef’s sake, not her own. To make this sequence really work, maybe make Sef think her Mani is just trying to save herself – it’s not a lie about Sef, but it would make the former lie hit home. Make her really crumble since the last thing keeping the lie f…

[Read more]

@elishavet-pidyon

wowww…that’s a lot to think about and really helpful!!! Thank you!

@elishavet-pidyon

Lol. Leon is more experienced than Julian. J will level out, he’s just excited and nervous and high strung and…. you get the point.

@linus-smallprint

AWWW!!! Adorable!!! So sweet!

@elishavet-pidyon

WHY would ANYONE in his right mind Say That?

It’s Julian who needs this speech. Go ask him.

He’s a little hot headed, he’s a firebrand, and he’s desperately excited to share the truth with his people.

 

Anyway, you probably do all that in this book, and I am really enjoying reading this. So far cultures are fascinating and the…

[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

I like Rasins. Good for Leon and Julian not rejecting them.

why would anyone reject raisins!!??

Hmm. They’ve been away for about ten years, so things are going to feel very different to them. I can try to add a coming home feel.

Yes, they’ve had a wild day, and it’s just getting started.

Interesting. Both the…[Read more]

Here’s a little background on that scene…

yes, I know it is very sloppy and not perfect (I just wrote it literally today)

but here’s the cliffnotes:

• Sef is a slave of Iver, who is a Pythonos.
• Sef and Iver are currently in the throne room of the Master, leader of all Pythonos
• Iver has applied for a military position, and the Master is…

[Read more]

@the_lost-journal

WHATTT
the chosen makes me wanna cry

it’s so good!!!! they portrayed it so well in my opinion hahaha

it’s my FAVORITE show of all time hahaha

@elishavet-pidyon

YES those are what I’m looking for!!!!
I will definitely be using those later in my book…

But I’m struggling with a specific scene where I need a lie XDXD and none of these seem to fit…

“Well, what are you waiting for?” the Master spat, motioning for Iver to continue. “You may begin whenever you are ready.”

Sef’s knees sho…

[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Okay good lol

Also, Paynes cannot become Pythonos because of genetics, but I’m not sure how to incorporate that in the book quite yet…don’t worry though, I’ll make that clearer in other drafts.

@esther-c

Okay perfect! Thank you!

@the_lost-journal

Aw I’m glad <3

Some of those were lies. what do you mean? You yourself said that they were lies.

yes, they are lies…

But they’re not the type of lies in my story…

agh I don’t know how to explain it, I’m sorry!!