Trailblazer

@ellette-giselle

Sorry I’ve been MIA… I just started a YWAM school this week so I’ve been really busy and haven’t had time to read anything on here. I’ll try to get to it sometime if I have a chance! If you need me just tag me so I see it and hopefully can get back to you sooner!

@ellette-giselle

Hey, quit jumping ahead here! lol. would it interest you to know that Julius and a Praetorian may or may not be having a little conversation right now?

Haha okay I’ll be quiet and let them have their discussion XD

@ellette-giselle

I agree with @theshadow, I would love to see more of how Marcus and Flavia’s relationship develops rather than just being told that it did. I also feel like I don’t know Flavia very well- I know you describe her when Marcus is thinking about her and talking to Caius, but I want to see it in her rather than just be told it about…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Is that bad that Thaddeus seems mature, but then there are also glimpses of him being childish, or do I need to go with one or the other? Also, are there particular times when what he says seems overly mature?

I don’t think it’s bad to show maturity and then have him resume normal childhood behavior. It just seemed like he was…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

I am finally jumping on here but I’m still sort of undecided which WIP I want to highlight… I feel like most of my WIP’s are either incomplete or I haven’t fully fleshed out the plot yet… or I’m considering turning into a series rather than one book but don’t really know yet. OK, I think I know which one I’ll do. Here we go! I…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Just a few quick notes-

-Thaddeus is ten, but sometimes he seems older (which is fine for him to be mature for his age, but sometimes it sounded like an adult talking) and sometimes he seems younger (when he is sleeping with his head in Flavia’s lap).

-A couple times when Caius is sharing the Gospel, he used more than one name…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I do think the second chapter was a little smoother than the first! The only thing that raised questions for me was Marcus questioning Ignatius. I think you did cause Ignatius to be a bit suspicious that Marcus was sympathizing with the Christians, but I feel like all the questions he was asking would raise a little more alarm,…[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium

It’s fine on my end…

@savannah_grace2009

Girl your suggestions were good, though! I haven’t done much research on starting off a book, so it sounds like you have more tools under your belt in that area than I do.

@savannah_grace2009

*sighs in relief* Okay because I was panicking after I posted and then you posted that you really liked the fountain scene…I felt sooo bad lol

I think we were posting over each other… like I didn’t see your comments until after I posted.

@savannah_grace2009

It did that to me the other day… where all the profile pics disappeared and then the format was all crazy. But like you said it fixed itself pretty quickly.

@ellette-giselle

Ok I love what @savannah_grace2009 just said about doing the whole colosseum scene first- that makes a lot of sense!

As far as the fountain scene, I think you could maybe still incorporate that later- maybe not the swordfighting, but perhaps during their conversation they’re sitting outside and the teasing turns into wrestling…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Just now saw your updated version- I love that fountain scene at the beginning! It made me smile because I can easily see my brothers doing that!

Julius inwardly berated himself for failing in such a simple thing.

This is just something I thought of as I was reading through- maybe instead of telling us Julius inwardly berated…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

However, if Marcus came off as too young in y’all’s opinion then I can tone him down into a more mature guy. what do y’all think?

Hmm… I do have two younger brothers who are teenagers, but maybe they’re more chill than other guys their age. They do pick on each other and get on each other’s nerves, but in the case of someo…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Hey, look at that! You tagged someone! Yay!

I think you’re saying you read all the blog posts, correct? Not all the posts in the forums- because that would take an insane amount of time.

@savannah_grace2009

That’s awesome! We don’t have chores to do our at ours, but we do get points for picking up any trash we find.

The directors inspect the cabins and sometimes you get extra points for your team if your cabin is clean enough! Either that, or the cleanest cabin goes first in the lunch line.

You have cabin inspection every day? We…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Oh Sara- since we were talking about summer camps, I’d love to hear what your camp is like! One of the stories I’m working on currently started with two girls at summer camp who became friends and decided to be pen pals after they left… and the plot has sort of taken its own turns from there, lol!

But anyway, I don’t want…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ok, these are just some of my initial thoughts as I was reading through it.

– I liked the action scene where the boys are watching the fighting; that drew me in. I’d say the first part of the chapter didn’t pull me in as quickly, though. Some of the dialogue felt a little bit like it was just there to fill in the story. I know…[Read more]

@esther-c

*also sitting in a bean bag chair across from you and Sara, but with lemonade instead of tea*

You can join the conversation if you want lol, I think it sort of reached a lull anyway.

@ellette-giselle

You could put however much you want to in there! If you’re doing more than a chapter at a time, it might be easier to just put a link to a document in there (if you’re okay with that), but when I did it, I just did sections at a time (I didn’t have them portioned into chapters yet, just scenes). It’s really however you want to do it.