TheShadow

@theducktator @loopylin @stephie @theshadow @ellette-giselle @keilah-h

I changed my mind. There is one more scene I want to write before The Rebel. Chapter the 17th is now The Role Model.

With this chapter, I have now reached 50,000 words! Whew!

Question for you all. While this series is primarily directed towards believers, I want un…[Read more]

@theshadow you’re welcome! I didn’t see your post until now because KP is apparently wigging out and won’t send me emails to any of your latest posts for some reason.

@theshadow

Thank you!!

here’s another

@theshadow cool! So you’re not at like the end of what I’ve written yet.

oh and thanks, I had fun translating the various comics and video transcripts into written form. In fact, I don’t know when I’ll be finished with the story because I still have to wait for the very last comic installment to be released, then I can read it over and decide…[Read more]

@theshadow so….we have traded places…..

now you’re telling me to read your story that you’re afraid is a dumpster fire! (Don’t worry, I think yours is great.)

I would go with what @linus-smallprint says about the new paragraphs whenever a character is talking. Look at my fanfic–the google doc separates the paragraphs out a lot, so I’ll…[Read more]

@theshadow lol yep

oh and thanks. Which loaf scene exactly? Cause there are a couple haha. What point are you at?

I tried to make it as entertaining as I could. Some of it’s derived from official media the developers of the actual game have put out over the years. The plot of the latter two-thirds or so are from a comic series they made (I don’t…[Read more]

@theshadow @whalekeeper

What are they wearing?

XD

Tenz and Reid

Reid pushed the door open, seeing three people on the other side, two men and one woman. The men seemed to be preparing to fight with primitive weapons until Reid had opened the door. Looking at them, his mind immediately jumped to a picture of Ancient Wond that his father had lying…[Read more]

@theshadow

Just read your chapter. I have a couple of things for you.

Firstly, some things about your introduction. I think your intro paragraph to the chapter may be unnecessary. Why? Because soon after, you show us many of these problems in the hushed whispers of the peasants.

Blossom Town’s suffering had only grown worse. The farmers b…

[Read more]

@theshadow

okay, I really like this, but I have one big thing.

the training fight.

so first off, they would use training swords. Wooden ones or maybe blunt mettle. Mistakes happen in training and the less chance for a knight to get killed the better.
second, training is hard on the weapons so their real swords would be set aside for…[Read more]

@theshadow

I’m not great at critiquing, but I did notice one thing.

Eldred Favri, a knight under Lord Damien, was about 21.

Five today… that would make Ninety. Ninety… ninety of his beloved countrymen, women, and even children, dead.

The boy answered, grinning, then, with an air of pride, added, “I’m 7.” “Seven? Well, that certainly is a fine a…

[Read more]

Oops, sorry @theshadow I forgot to tag you

@theshadow

Yes, plz come join us!

I love your charries already!

@rae

Barnes

With Reid directing, Barnes swept through multiple passages and rooms, and made sure to get an idea of the layout.

It wasn’t worth saying, but she liked the decor. Rich greens and oranges lined the inner rooms, sparkling against the surface of glass trinkets. Delicate paintings, stained with dust, barely portrayed more than…[Read more]

@theshadow

I was actually planning to have Howard get captured and taken to the zoo in a later chapter, lol.

@hybridlore

The only definition of DMV I found was Department of Motor Vehicles, so hopefully that’s right. Linda wants a Ferrari.

@rae

Ooh, a fair! She would get her beak stuck in a caramel apple. XD

@linus-smallprint

Lol I love t…[Read more]

@rae
I think you can just put them wherever.

@keilah-h @theshadow @grcr @whalekeeper @esther-c @freed_and_redeemed

Ayla

Ooh, a war! This would make an amazing tale for my memoirs. “I’m Ayla,” I informed the stranger. He appeared to have changed his mind about killing me. “My guess is that we will encounter at least three more people. Rarely do…[Read more]

@theshadow haha yep! I’ll try to find a video of him playing it or something

@theducktator @loopylin @stephie @theshadow @ellette-giselle @keilah-h

Chapter the 16th – The Artist

I will try to get you Chapter the 17th – The Rebel next week, but since I start work and school, no promises. I will send it out in two weeks at the latest, so you can hold me accountable to that deadline.

@theducktator

Now we just get to sit back and enjoy the drama.” He gestured toward Silvanis and the ducks.

XD

@keilah-h @theshadow @princesachronicle22 @kyronthearcanin @ducktator

I VOTE WE HAVE INSTRUMENTS FOR ALL THE CHARRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We can make a little band and watch them struggle to get the dynamics right together! It’ll be so c…[Read more]

@keilah-h @rae @princesachronicle22 @theshadow @kyronthearcanin

Bob

Bob had sworn to stay away from hens after Serpentine’s betrayal, and now he was stuck in some kind of couples thing with the most annoying hen he knew. To be fair, she hadn’t always been this annoying. She’d been sweet and friendly at first, if rather too excitable, but he’d…[Read more]