TheShadow

@savannah_grace2009

Sara, your writing is so beautiful. While I was reading, the entire time I was thinking “this is a beautiful sentence” or “this is incredibly true.” Your writing such wonderful truths, and doing a great job. Keep going, your writing is great!!

@whalekeeper

What if I said everything 

Hm, I guess I would like to get better at writing more interesting, distinct sentences and showing more than telling. I think I’ve gotten a smidge better at writing okay sentences, but nowhere near as using excellent word choices or stuff like that.

I would also like to show my themes better instead of…[Read more]

@hybridlore

I think so, although if she doesn’t I can send it to her again.

@keilah-h

I really like them, they’re good!! Nice job!!

@hybridlore

The story is looking really good so far, although I’m a little confused by Cole. Is he meant to be really smart, but doesn’t necessarily care about school? Sorry, I just need a little clarification. Each character is good though, I particularly find Alec interesting.

@savannah_grace2009

First of all, that’s awesome that you’re writing this!!!

Second, I’ll try to get around to reading and suggesting things on this. The homework load shouldn’t be too bad this week so hopefully I’ll have time to finish it.

@stephie

Thats horrible. Praying

@theducktator

Yay, that’s wonderful!!! Praying for you and your brother

@hybridlore

It is a good word, isn’t it? Using too many synonyms can be a problem though too (probably my biggest XD).

@ellette-giselle

Great, thank you! Do you want me to post references for the clothes?

@keilah-h

obviously they’d have like separate rooms, but I think each couple has a cabin to their own. I imagine each person’s room has stuff they enjoy in it—for example, Sniper’s probably has a place he can store his rifle and knife, a large window to the outside (he seems like the kind of person to enjoy that), and some things he’d find fami…

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@keilah-h @rae @theducktator @kyronthearcanin@princesachronicles22

Trevor

Trevor hid a smile while watching Fairy and Silvanus. Next to him, Azalea tapped him on the shoulder and he glanced over. “What’s up?”

“It’s getting late, we should head back to the cabins.”

Trevor nodded, standing up with her. “Azalea and I are going to sleep now, go…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ooh, yay you’re picking this up again!! Here’s my character if you could draw her please:

Name: Elina Miller

Age: 16

Gender: female

Clothing: jeans, basic blue sneakers, blue T-shirt, a light green jacket, and a baseball cap.

Time period (Or the time period the fashion replicates): about today

Physical appearance: about 5’5…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Going to catch up soon, but I noticed you used the word “glanced” a few times in one chapter (can’t remember which). It was just a little repetitive, not at all big though.

@esther-c

The chapters are good so far, I like the cozy feel. I agree with @savannah_grace2009 that it’s moving a bit fast, but other than that everything’s good. Nice job!!

@hybridlore

March 8th sounds good, I think I’ll be free then.

@keilah-h

it still took me a while to get it right, but considering I was only doing a headshot (pun intended) it was done quickly since I didn’t have to worry about anything under his neck.

Ah, that makes sense.

@stephie

Just saw this now, is it ok if I answer or no? It’s okay if not.

@hybridlore

Okay! I could always try to integrate that into scenes while they’re traveling (to the church meetings, to their jobs).

That sounds good.

Gotcha. I’ll try to add some more of that in.

Cool, I’ll look out for it.

@hybridlore

Okay, I see what you mean. Are you thinking like, within their friend groups? Most of the story so far takes place either at school, the church meetings, or their house. Later, though, there will probably be a lot of scenes at their respective job assignments, so you’ll get to see more of the culture then. Do you have any ideas for s…

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@hybridlore @esther-c @theducktator

Thanks y’all!!

@whalekeeper @loopylin

Praying 🙏